A little window that allows a peek into what goes on in the head of this peculiar soul who is very passionate about the unfolding of one's truth, writing, mountains, nature and making a contribution... It's all about a journey to self-actualisation, self-love and the inevitable outward outpouring of love as a result... It's all about acceptance..Of connection, love and affirmation...
Monday, March 04, 2024
Today. Aleppo.
I groaned when I noted that the clock reads 5 am'ish. I slept late the night
before, pushing myself to the limit trying to finish a report with the remaining
ounce of energy left in me. I'm on my last week of this deployment and as always
the case, my energy tap is already close to depletion. The last few days would
be like the final sprint. I was torn between wanting to go back to sleep and
just going to the gym to run as I was not able to, the night before, having
attended Mass and heading straight to dinner afterwards. But the church beckons.
I did not take the communion the night before. I was not able to follow the Mass
well as it was in Arabic. I listened intently though and was able to discern a
few of the messages. But as to actual comprehension, enough to touch my heart,
did not have that. So I've forgone the communion. I did know that the Roman
Catholic church next to it would have an 8 am Mass the next day. So this
morning, I found myself changing for church (and office get-up) instead. Before
that, I was doing Mommy-duty, talking to rod about his university plans...
When we walked into the church, the priest was already at the altar and about to
start. Apart from the two commentator in front, the church was empty. I grew a
bit self-conscious so decided to sit at the back pew. Mid-way through, there
were 2 other who came in, intermitently. Around gospel time I just felt the
tears come, unbidden. It felt as if the Mass was held "especially" for me.
Although of course that is not the case. But having just a few of us there, it
did feel that way.
Who would have thought that I'd find myself attending Mass
and receiving communion in Aleppo, in Syria. What are the odds? I am remembering
being part of a joint RTR for Haiyan and having a fellow team member speaking
about the sorry state of Syria then. I remember sharing related posts over the
years, as the war waged on, year after year. And then suddenly here I am,
serving a 3-month deployment. I feel grateful.
After the Mass, went straight to the office, facilitated a workshop for 2 major sessions. I did not have to do it.
Strictly speaking, it was not part of my TOR. It's going an extra mile on my part. But anyone who knows me, know that I do take my job seriously. Simply because, my job exists because there are people in need. Horrendous as that may
sound, it is indeed true isn't it? Humanitarian work could be the most draining and demanding job. It doesnt have to be all the time. But I find myself, pushing myself, putting in extra on top of extra every time. Because, I feel I had to.
My job is not about selling pancakes where my only concern would have to be how
tasty it is going to be; how fluffy and fresh... It is about touching people's
lives. Albeit with my role, a bit more "indirect" and a bit "removed" from the
actual day to day community work. After the workshop, there were two meetings
that I had to attend to as well. I found myself dozing off on the second
one.Then after the workshop, checking out the bazar for local, indigenous
products on display at the hotel. Then went back to my room to do a bit of work. A few emails after, I found myself walking
towards a concert. Imagine all that. Take about a full day indeed. Thank you,God.
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