I just came in from an evening out with the girlfriends (Jeni, Kendi and Rochelle). Got intrigued ever since I heard from the local news that the city is closing out the main street of China Town in celebration of the Chinese New Year. The news said that the main street would be transformed into a night market of sorts. Imagine that :) And so, we checked it out :)
It was fun. There were street wares everywhere from ukay2x to kwek2x stalls. Of course there were also stalls selling Tikoy and all sorts of lucky charms. Even the electronic stores were open.
At one point, we came across old classmates from college. It was fun seeing them as well. Ironically though, we capped the night by having some fries at McDonalds hehehe Some Chinese Newy Year we're having. Actually, in our search for food, we came across this tiny Chinese Restaurant. It was really, traditionally Chinese, the kind you would find in an out of the way street in Hong Kong.
Upon entering the restaurant, you could see pile upon pile of tikoy boxes or some other boxes with Chinese Characters on them. Just like any typical Chinese resto, the kitchen is open, with a large glass window at one side allowing street passers a peek at what is going on inside.
I readily noticed the stack of meat and some innards placed on steel colanders on top of the kitchen counter. I immediately wondered if there is something we could eat in the resto. Jeni and I are vegetarians after all.
I noticed that there are just two tables on the ground floor and one has some ingredients of sorts on it. The waiter pointed us to the second floor and told us there are more tables upstairs. The steps were narrow and Candy jokingly asked if it would be able to hold her weight. I took one step, noticed how it groaned under my weight, and wondered myself. It was made of steel though, so I was confident it would hold up.
On our way up, I felt queasy noticing that next to the stairs are some pipes protruding from the wall. They were large enough to tell me they are not water pipes. There were around 4 tables on the second floor. Two were held jointly and were occupied by a group of men. One table, by a Chinese family. It took a while before the lone waitress managed to come to us and get our orders. It was nice being able to finally sit though. It was only after we've seated that I noticed how tired I was. We had probably walked and stood for two hours on the street, checking out wares that held our fancy. Anyway, while the waitress pointed out they had some egg soup sans the meat, I voiced out my concern that I am not quite comfortable where we are. As soon as I said those words, Jeni and the rest stood up also. So that is how we've ended up with McDonalds hehehe
On my way home, I noticed our car parked at the Shop so I got down and had Tatay take me home. I was not comfortable at the thought of going home alone. Come to think of it, I haven't done that in what... two years?! Hmmm... Anyway, I have just finished reading my supposedly horoscope for the year of the Ox. It turned out it's not a lucky year for me or of any of those born under the year of the Rabbit. Well, I wouldn't dwell much on that. I'll really just try to be good this year, continue being optimistic and I know everything will be alright. My God, after all, is a lot bigger than all sorts of horroscope ;) Happy Chinese New Year, everyone! I'm wishing everyone a really, good, prosperous year of the Ox ;)
Showing posts with label Friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friendship. Show all posts
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Friday, May 16, 2008
Siblings
It’s 3:57 A.M. I’ve been awake since 3:00 A.M. And ever since, I’ve been texting my sister-in-law who’s due to give birth anytime now. She said she couldn’t sleep since the baby has been moving a lot since 1 in the morning. Being a first time Mom, she doesn’t really know what to expect so anything slight of the ordinary already worries her. The fact that she turns to me first hand is something I appreciate. And as always, I’m glad to be of help any time.
In a way I pity her. Her mom is out of the country, so she lacked that kind of support. It’s always good to have one’s mom around in a time like this. Even if only to make you feel there is someone you can count on, someone who had been there, gone through the experience of giving birth. I remember in my case before, I would listen intently every time Mama would tell me how it was with her when she was pregnant with me. She told me I’m a lot luckier since I did not have any vomiting phase or any difficulty while pregnant. Well, I guess being active and vegetarian helped.
I’m thinking now, I really feel a certain fondness towards this sister-in-law of mine. She had always been solicitous and kind to me ever since. Well, it’s refreshing to me since I never really had a sister. I’m close to my cousins but we were all really too cooped up with our respective lives while growing up that we never really had the time to just bond with each other. There was the age difference to consider really and my female cousins who are around my age are living far away too. I grew up mainly around my uncles (Papa’s younger brothers) and my male cousins.
Anyway, I remember feeling surprised to have the hubby’s siblings take to me from day 1. They were simply, accepting… nope, welcoming I think is the more apt word. It was also a surprise to me how they are to each other. Loren or Cristina would be at the farthest end of the city from where we are but they would always oblige their Kuya who would ask them to go home and fetch something for him. Bolo is also the same. It would be 4 am in the morning but he would drag himself out of bed to go to his sister living at the other side of the city who needed to borrow a back pack for an early out-of-town trip. And you wouldn’t hear any word of complaint or misgiving. They just do it automatically. And that generosity they have for each other was also extended to me. From day 1. Imagine that.
I guess that’s what I missed – growing up around siblings. Niño and I are six years apart and as different as night and day in preferences. Our needs are different too so there was never really any instances wherein we needed something from each other. And we always did fight. I’m the perfectionist Ate, always expecting something outstanding from a younger sibling. I was strict, always nagging him to shape up, be more diligent, be a better student, be a more thoughtful son to Mama.. I think I was overly critical of him while growing up.
There was a time when I was much older that I regret being like that to him. I was young, too caught up with the drama of sibling rivalry – jealousy is more like it – to really be the more loving Ate that I should have been. Well, I was also kind to him of course. I wasn’t always the monster Ate. But it was only when I was much older that I shifted into the role of the loving, nurturing and caring older sibling.
I would always worry about him and always try to be more inclusive. I would always urge him to join me in some of my trips but he would always decline. Mountaineering was never his cup of tea. Basketball was his passion. And I guess he was also at the stage wherein he prefers to be with his friends than with family. He was always out of the house that I was tempted to build him a room right next to the basketball court.
In the last few years, especially following his failed marriage, I was the much better ate who was always solicitous around him. At this time, I knew better. I have already learned enough to know the real value of relationships.
I am just truly grateful that I was given that time, that period wherein I was able to show Niño how much I value him. At that time also he was more open to me. He would openly ask me for favors, to buy him some stuff and all that. And I always felt the urge to oblige no matter what. So that is why.
I just truly wish though that I had matured in that aspect of my life much sooner than I did. I think of all the wasted time being the strict Ate when I could have been more loving towards him. But I have also learned to forgive myself. I was young, too hurt, too caught up with my own drama about being unwanted by my parents thus their need to adopt. I did not know any better. Thank God I woke up from the drama in time to be able to make up for all the time that was lost…
Truly, God gives second chances. We just have to be more sensitive and more awake to be able to recognize it for what it is and be able to make the most out of it. I think it’s a tragedy when one is being given a second chance and just did not know it. Because sometimes, that’s all we’ve got. There wouldn’t be any third or fourth chances… So my advice to everyone, life is too short. Let us spend it to be more loving towards the persons around us no matter how unloving they may be. Let us be less critical, less judgmental… In the end, it is always the love that matters. When someone close to you dies, you don’t think about everything that s/he owed you but what you owe that person… Hug the people around you now, draw them close. You’ll never know when you’d lose them.
In a way I pity her. Her mom is out of the country, so she lacked that kind of support. It’s always good to have one’s mom around in a time like this. Even if only to make you feel there is someone you can count on, someone who had been there, gone through the experience of giving birth. I remember in my case before, I would listen intently every time Mama would tell me how it was with her when she was pregnant with me. She told me I’m a lot luckier since I did not have any vomiting phase or any difficulty while pregnant. Well, I guess being active and vegetarian helped.
I’m thinking now, I really feel a certain fondness towards this sister-in-law of mine. She had always been solicitous and kind to me ever since. Well, it’s refreshing to me since I never really had a sister. I’m close to my cousins but we were all really too cooped up with our respective lives while growing up that we never really had the time to just bond with each other. There was the age difference to consider really and my female cousins who are around my age are living far away too. I grew up mainly around my uncles (Papa’s younger brothers) and my male cousins.
Anyway, I remember feeling surprised to have the hubby’s siblings take to me from day 1. They were simply, accepting… nope, welcoming I think is the more apt word. It was also a surprise to me how they are to each other. Loren or Cristina would be at the farthest end of the city from where we are but they would always oblige their Kuya who would ask them to go home and fetch something for him. Bolo is also the same. It would be 4 am in the morning but he would drag himself out of bed to go to his sister living at the other side of the city who needed to borrow a back pack for an early out-of-town trip. And you wouldn’t hear any word of complaint or misgiving. They just do it automatically. And that generosity they have for each other was also extended to me. From day 1. Imagine that.
I guess that’s what I missed – growing up around siblings. Niño and I are six years apart and as different as night and day in preferences. Our needs are different too so there was never really any instances wherein we needed something from each other. And we always did fight. I’m the perfectionist Ate, always expecting something outstanding from a younger sibling. I was strict, always nagging him to shape up, be more diligent, be a better student, be a more thoughtful son to Mama.. I think I was overly critical of him while growing up.
There was a time when I was much older that I regret being like that to him. I was young, too caught up with the drama of sibling rivalry – jealousy is more like it – to really be the more loving Ate that I should have been. Well, I was also kind to him of course. I wasn’t always the monster Ate. But it was only when I was much older that I shifted into the role of the loving, nurturing and caring older sibling.
I would always worry about him and always try to be more inclusive. I would always urge him to join me in some of my trips but he would always decline. Mountaineering was never his cup of tea. Basketball was his passion. And I guess he was also at the stage wherein he prefers to be with his friends than with family. He was always out of the house that I was tempted to build him a room right next to the basketball court.
In the last few years, especially following his failed marriage, I was the much better ate who was always solicitous around him. At this time, I knew better. I have already learned enough to know the real value of relationships.
I am just truly grateful that I was given that time, that period wherein I was able to show Niño how much I value him. At that time also he was more open to me. He would openly ask me for favors, to buy him some stuff and all that. And I always felt the urge to oblige no matter what. So that is why.
I just truly wish though that I had matured in that aspect of my life much sooner than I did. I think of all the wasted time being the strict Ate when I could have been more loving towards him. But I have also learned to forgive myself. I was young, too hurt, too caught up with my own drama about being unwanted by my parents thus their need to adopt. I did not know any better. Thank God I woke up from the drama in time to be able to make up for all the time that was lost…
Truly, God gives second chances. We just have to be more sensitive and more awake to be able to recognize it for what it is and be able to make the most out of it. I think it’s a tragedy when one is being given a second chance and just did not know it. Because sometimes, that’s all we’ve got. There wouldn’t be any third or fourth chances… So my advice to everyone, life is too short. Let us spend it to be more loving towards the persons around us no matter how unloving they may be. Let us be less critical, less judgmental… In the end, it is always the love that matters. When someone close to you dies, you don’t think about everything that s/he owed you but what you owe that person… Hug the people around you now, draw them close. You’ll never know when you’d lose them.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
AMOC Reunion of Sorts
Stephen celebrated his birthday yesterday. It has been a while since Bolo and I have been with the AMOC’s. It was fun seeing some of the guys there since not everyone was present. There was a moment when I grew nostalgic of the old days, especially after Renee and Bambie called to talk with everyone there.
Churchill talked to Bolo and Stephen about going on a climb in a few week’s time. I entertained the thought of being a part of it. But let’s see :)
Churchill talked to Bolo and Stephen about going on a climb in a few week’s time. I entertained the thought of being a part of it. But let’s see :)
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Night Out with Friends
It was Rochelle’s birthday yesterday and she happens to be in town with her family. She had some work engagement. We agreed to watch a movie in the evening. She’s bringing Benzon along. Candy will also be with Archie. Bolo and I had been discussing watching the same movie over the weekend. And since there was the opportunity, we agreed to watch it last night instead.
But, we very nearly did not make it to the movie. Candy had a sprained ankle and was having second thoughts about going. It turned out also that Mama was stuck at Empress with Baby and Janin. So Bolo and I had to go all the way there just to fetch them.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, Bolo and I were able to catch up with them in the middle of the movie. So it meant we would have to linger and catch the last full show. Last full show – that does not sound appealing at all but knowing that Candy came despite her hurt ankle -- just to show Rochelle we want to be with her on her birthday -- I find it shameful not to show up.
“The Forbidden Kingdom” which starred both Jet Lee and Jacky Chan is not “Crouching Tiger.” Neither it is a “Hero” of sorts but it was a good movie as well. I enjoyed watching it. I also enjoyed the time spent with Rochelle and Candy catching up and making future rendezvous plans with Lourdes and Jeni who were both unable to join us that night.
It turned out that Candy and Archie stuck it out with us. Rochelle and Benzon already went ahead since they also wanted to catch the early trip to Butuan. Half-way through the last full show though, Candy was already dozing off beside me. I pitied her and told her she did not have to wait for us. She told me Archie wanted to watch the movie for the second time.
By the time we got out of the cinema, we were all too sleepy to even think about going somewhere to eat. It was straight home for all of us. We were that tired and sleepy. In our case, home meant going all the way to Empress. Bolo and I were so tempted to look around for accommodations in Davao downtown area. But of course we were also very eager to go home and check on Baby and have him lie close to us. So close I’d feel his breath on my shoulders. It’s like having a taste of heaven here on earth :)
Happy Birthday Rochelle! Wishing you all the best! :) See you soon!
But, we very nearly did not make it to the movie. Candy had a sprained ankle and was having second thoughts about going. It turned out also that Mama was stuck at Empress with Baby and Janin. So Bolo and I had to go all the way there just to fetch them.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, Bolo and I were able to catch up with them in the middle of the movie. So it meant we would have to linger and catch the last full show. Last full show – that does not sound appealing at all but knowing that Candy came despite her hurt ankle -- just to show Rochelle we want to be with her on her birthday -- I find it shameful not to show up.
“The Forbidden Kingdom” which starred both Jet Lee and Jacky Chan is not “Crouching Tiger.” Neither it is a “Hero” of sorts but it was a good movie as well. I enjoyed watching it. I also enjoyed the time spent with Rochelle and Candy catching up and making future rendezvous plans with Lourdes and Jeni who were both unable to join us that night.
It turned out that Candy and Archie stuck it out with us. Rochelle and Benzon already went ahead since they also wanted to catch the early trip to Butuan. Half-way through the last full show though, Candy was already dozing off beside me. I pitied her and told her she did not have to wait for us. She told me Archie wanted to watch the movie for the second time.
By the time we got out of the cinema, we were all too sleepy to even think about going somewhere to eat. It was straight home for all of us. We were that tired and sleepy. In our case, home meant going all the way to Empress. Bolo and I were so tempted to look around for accommodations in Davao downtown area. But of course we were also very eager to go home and check on Baby and have him lie close to us. So close I’d feel his breath on my shoulders. It’s like having a taste of heaven here on earth :)
Happy Birthday Rochelle! Wishing you all the best! :) See you soon!
Thursday, January 24, 2008
I was there
…when my friend would sneak out of the hotel room we were billeted for a training we were documenting to meet him downstairs. His excuse was that he could not sleep… he had to see her…
…when she would cut off a rendezvous with friends who are home for the holidays just because he had already arrived to whisk her away…
…on a number of occasions as she pointed out to me the “portrait” of them he made which he labeled, “soulmates.” I even reluctantly pose for another “portrait” since he told me he wanted to transform his front yard into her “playground” bearing some of the “portraits” of the persons she loved…
…to share her happiness as she relates how he would come by her house in the middle of the night just because he could not bear sleeping without her…
…as she struggled with the difficulty of being apart with him as well. Of having to sneak back to her parents’ house in the middle of the night and risking a good scolding in the morning. I was one of the few persons she texted when she finally made the decision to move out of her parents’ house just to move in with him.
…there when she finally gave birth to their daughter…
They were not some love-struck, do-not-know-any-better, naive teen-agers then. They were both twenty-seven years old. Probably not old enough to know everything about relationships but not too young either to not know what they were getting themselves into…
So it hurts me now to have some third person label the relationship as just some “f****ng frenzy.” I would very much like to believe it was much deeper than that…
I am not angry at the person who dismissed the relationship as just that. I just thought she does not know any better. But I am definitely angry… Because I know somewhere along the way a “story” have been told in such a manner that made her view the relationship as such I am most angry at the very person whom my friend have entrusted a big part of her life to.
Because you see, I was there too when he started to change… I was there when he treated her badly while she was still pregnant… I was there when she had to struggle to pick up the pieces again and start her life anew… I was there as she struggle to continue establishing some semblance of relationship with him just for the sake of their daughter… I may not have been really there for the most part but I was there and have seen enough and felt enough…
And she’s struggling even now… and it pains me to have other women dismiss other women’s experiences as some kind of folly… we are women…. And by that we should have known any better… not to make any judgment… not to make rash statements about someone else’s experiences… I know there was probably no malice when the thing was said… but words have energy you see… they have meanings that no amount of subtlety could ever change what they mean…
I felt the pain for my friend, even shed a tear for her. I felt myself shaken to the very core, and was even shaking physically because of it. I was that affected. I asked myself why did I have to be there to hear all of that? What for? Am I suppose to help her out in some way? Is she asking for clarity now, for some definition of sorts and I had to hear all of that just to gain another person’s perspective?
I am never one for meddling with other person’s affairs. I have enough troubles of my own. And besides, what wisdom could I possibly offer when I am just an outsider looking in and not the very one involved? That is why I am also very careful about giving in my opinion or volunteering my views on anything. Because I feel I am never in the position to do so… unless if it concerns my own affairs… my own concerns…
Ah friend, I feel for you. If I am this hurt, I could only imagine how it must have been for you… Ah… all is well… no matter how it may seem differently at times…..
…when she would cut off a rendezvous with friends who are home for the holidays just because he had already arrived to whisk her away…
…on a number of occasions as she pointed out to me the “portrait” of them he made which he labeled, “soulmates.” I even reluctantly pose for another “portrait” since he told me he wanted to transform his front yard into her “playground” bearing some of the “portraits” of the persons she loved…
…to share her happiness as she relates how he would come by her house in the middle of the night just because he could not bear sleeping without her…
…as she struggled with the difficulty of being apart with him as well. Of having to sneak back to her parents’ house in the middle of the night and risking a good scolding in the morning. I was one of the few persons she texted when she finally made the decision to move out of her parents’ house just to move in with him.
…there when she finally gave birth to their daughter…
They were not some love-struck, do-not-know-any-better, naive teen-agers then. They were both twenty-seven years old. Probably not old enough to know everything about relationships but not too young either to not know what they were getting themselves into…
So it hurts me now to have some third person label the relationship as just some “f****ng frenzy.” I would very much like to believe it was much deeper than that…
I am not angry at the person who dismissed the relationship as just that. I just thought she does not know any better. But I am definitely angry… Because I know somewhere along the way a “story” have been told in such a manner that made her view the relationship as such I am most angry at the very person whom my friend have entrusted a big part of her life to.
Because you see, I was there too when he started to change… I was there when he treated her badly while she was still pregnant… I was there when she had to struggle to pick up the pieces again and start her life anew… I was there as she struggle to continue establishing some semblance of relationship with him just for the sake of their daughter… I may not have been really there for the most part but I was there and have seen enough and felt enough…
And she’s struggling even now… and it pains me to have other women dismiss other women’s experiences as some kind of folly… we are women…. And by that we should have known any better… not to make any judgment… not to make rash statements about someone else’s experiences… I know there was probably no malice when the thing was said… but words have energy you see… they have meanings that no amount of subtlety could ever change what they mean…
I felt the pain for my friend, even shed a tear for her. I felt myself shaken to the very core, and was even shaking physically because of it. I was that affected. I asked myself why did I have to be there to hear all of that? What for? Am I suppose to help her out in some way? Is she asking for clarity now, for some definition of sorts and I had to hear all of that just to gain another person’s perspective?
I am never one for meddling with other person’s affairs. I have enough troubles of my own. And besides, what wisdom could I possibly offer when I am just an outsider looking in and not the very one involved? That is why I am also very careful about giving in my opinion or volunteering my views on anything. Because I feel I am never in the position to do so… unless if it concerns my own affairs… my own concerns…
Ah friend, I feel for you. If I am this hurt, I could only imagine how it must have been for you… Ah… all is well… no matter how it may seem differently at times…..
Sunday, November 25, 2007
For Renee
Whew! Another one of our friends is going away. This time it's Renee. It is totally unexpected. The opportunity came to her unexpectedly so the very short notice to us also.
Renee, is one of mine and Bolo's good, good friends. She's one of those who was really present all throughout our relationship. And she's also one of those very few whom we run to in time of need. She has always been dependable, would drop everything she's done to rush to our need -- assisting us in our wedding, when Baby was born, and when my brother died. In fact, I miss her already... Remembering her is like remembering all the good, fun times and mine and Bolo's history...
I'm really so blessed because I have a lot of good, good friends. In all aspects of my life, there are set of friends who is responsible for making each aspect beautiful, meaningful and worth my while. It makes me feel so loved by my God. That is why I am always, truly grateful.
Today, I give tribute to one of those friends who've touched my life -- mine and Bolo's -- in such a special way... Will be missing you Ren, such as we do miss Suzette and Bambie... Know that you are loved by Bolo and I :) God bless you always...
Renee, is one of mine and Bolo's good, good friends. She's one of those who was really present all throughout our relationship. And she's also one of those very few whom we run to in time of need. She has always been dependable, would drop everything she's done to rush to our need -- assisting us in our wedding, when Baby was born, and when my brother died. In fact, I miss her already... Remembering her is like remembering all the good, fun times and mine and Bolo's history...
I'm really so blessed because I have a lot of good, good friends. In all aspects of my life, there are set of friends who is responsible for making each aspect beautiful, meaningful and worth my while. It makes me feel so loved by my God. That is why I am always, truly grateful.
Today, I give tribute to one of those friends who've touched my life -- mine and Bolo's -- in such a special way... Will be missing you Ren, such as we do miss Suzette and Bambie... Know that you are loved by Bolo and I :) God bless you always...
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Baby is now a "Delighful" Two!
Last Sunday, November 18, Baby turned two years old. Same as last year, there were a lot of things that needed my attention at work. I had to submit liquidation reports to the org that funds the project I’m handling now. I am not exactly fond of administrative work hehe But I had to do it. So I had to accomplish a particular form, check our budget, compile all the necessary supporting documents. This includes receipts, SOAs, quotations, service contracts of RPs and documenters, etc. etc. It did not help that there were some supporting documents that were not with me yet and I had to wait for some of the concerned persons to e-mail them to me. It made the process took a lot longer than it should.
I so like to digress, don't I? Hehe Actually, the point is, I had but little time to prepare for Baby’s birthday. In truth, Bolo and I did not intend to hold a party at all. We were trying to save for some big purchase we’re aiming for before the year ends. We only planned to buy some cake and ice cream or to eat out. But Bolo’s Uncle Loloy volunteered to donate an entire “goat” for it and some buko for the salad. That changed the whole thing. So it became an opportunity for us to turn the whole affair into something that both our side of the families can share.
It was tough preparing “bag of goodies” for 50 kids. Yup, 50! Bolo has such a large family. He has like more than a dozen very “prolific” cousins hehehe who seemed to take very seriously the that part in the scripture that says, "Go forth and multiply." Just kidding! I wanted to invite a few more friends to the party as well but was afraid I might lose the opportunity of mingling with B’s family. The opportunity, after all, doesn’t always come…
Jeni was there though. So was Candy. Both we’re such a dear, acting more like hosts than guests. Jeni made it more fun for the kids by bringing along 15 beach balls. She helped me shop for goodies for the giveaways and the pabitin the day before as well. Dane’s absence was still very much felt though :) At one point we all wished she was there to share the experience with us. We were all in agreement though about how happy we also are for her for everything that has been going on in her life right now. For my part, looking at the pictures below, I'm looking forward to having one with her and her little one :)
I also missed some of the family who were not there… Ate and her kids… NC Neneth and her kids… Niño…
But enough of that… It was a fun day. Baby was all over the place, running about, dancing… without much of a clue that everything going on was actually for him. I’m hoping we’ll have another chance such as that one…below are some of the pictures taken that day.
With Tita Loren and Tita Cristina
The Abique's
Baby: Nanay, I want Barney, Let Go!
Ang galing ni China! Kinoach mo ito Kends ano? Kaya pala late kayo dumating hehehe joke :)
Baby: Nanay, bakit kina Ate China at Ate Asia, marami? Ba't sa akin isa lang?
Hm.. look at Bolo bing his usual self... mangantyaw ba? :)
Like mother, like son...
Baby: Hmm.. I did not know Barney could also taste this good...
I so like to digress, don't I? Hehe Actually, the point is, I had but little time to prepare for Baby’s birthday. In truth, Bolo and I did not intend to hold a party at all. We were trying to save for some big purchase we’re aiming for before the year ends. We only planned to buy some cake and ice cream or to eat out. But Bolo’s Uncle Loloy volunteered to donate an entire “goat” for it and some buko for the salad. That changed the whole thing. So it became an opportunity for us to turn the whole affair into something that both our side of the families can share.
It was tough preparing “bag of goodies” for 50 kids. Yup, 50! Bolo has such a large family. He has like more than a dozen very “prolific” cousins hehehe who seemed to take very seriously the that part in the scripture that says, "Go forth and multiply." Just kidding! I wanted to invite a few more friends to the party as well but was afraid I might lose the opportunity of mingling with B’s family. The opportunity, after all, doesn’t always come…
Jeni was there though. So was Candy. Both we’re such a dear, acting more like hosts than guests. Jeni made it more fun for the kids by bringing along 15 beach balls. She helped me shop for goodies for the giveaways and the pabitin the day before as well. Dane’s absence was still very much felt though :) At one point we all wished she was there to share the experience with us. We were all in agreement though about how happy we also are for her for everything that has been going on in her life right now. For my part, looking at the pictures below, I'm looking forward to having one with her and her little one :)
I also missed some of the family who were not there… Ate and her kids… NC Neneth and her kids… Niño…
But enough of that… It was a fun day. Baby was all over the place, running about, dancing… without much of a clue that everything going on was actually for him. I’m hoping we’ll have another chance such as that one…below are some of the pictures taken that day.
With Tita Loren and Tita Cristina
The Abique's
Baby: Nanay, I want Barney, Let Go!
Ang galing ni China! Kinoach mo ito Kends ano? Kaya pala late kayo dumating hehehe joke :)
Baby: Nanay, bakit kina Ate China at Ate Asia, marami? Ba't sa akin isa lang?
Hm.. look at Bolo bing his usual self... mangantyaw ba? :)
Like mother, like son...
Baby: Hmm.. I did not know Barney could also taste this good...
Monday, October 08, 2007
Late Post
Super busy these days with a lot of things going on. But anyway, I was cleaning up my files when I came across the video and picture below of some past ukay rendezvouz we had. Cute :)
Monday, September 24, 2007
Towi's Fifth Birthday
Attended a birthday party over at Ponce Suites. It was Towi’s 5th birthday party. There were lots of things that I still needed to do in view of my trip to Legazpi but it’s a “family” affair after all. Besides, it was a good opportunity for Baby to again socialize with other kids and so of we went to attend the party. Candy and her daughters – China and Asia – attended the party as well. So for that day we were not friends out “shopping” or enjoying some good conversation together. We were “stage mothers” keeping close eye on our kids as we give them the opportunity to exercise their “social muscles.”
In my case, I watched as Baby seemed intent to develop every muscle in his body as well. He was all over the place – running everywhere. I wouldn’t have mind if the venue was not on the third floor of the building. I couldn’t risk taking my eyes off him even for an instant or not to follow him as closely as I could. He just might find his way to the stairs and that’s certainly a no-no.
The whole affair lasted for less than three hours but I was so tired at the end of it that I felt as if I’ve just finished an entire marathon course. But it was fun just the same :) Good to have the opportunity to be with friends once again.
In my case, I watched as Baby seemed intent to develop every muscle in his body as well. He was all over the place – running everywhere. I wouldn’t have mind if the venue was not on the third floor of the building. I couldn’t risk taking my eyes off him even for an instant or not to follow him as closely as I could. He just might find his way to the stairs and that’s certainly a no-no.
The whole affair lasted for less than three hours but I was so tired at the end of it that I felt as if I’ve just finished an entire marathon course. But it was fun just the same :) Good to have the opportunity to be with friends once again.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Addendum to "Extended Weekend"
This is to acknowledge our sorely-missed friend, companion, group clown, super event organizer, very-much-loved-by all Dane delos Reyes-Tuboro for the donation she sent us that enabled us to enjoy our "Dunkin Donut rendezvous" last weekend.
Last weekend, the three of us were somewhat experiencing some kind of a "temporary" dryspell where our cashflow is concernd :D hehehe. So while we were about to die of thirst from doing all the "personhandling" of piles and piles of clothes, we still held on to our few, well-kept pennies thinking we'd better save it for "fare" the next day. Thankfully, Candy offered the "crab-money" Dane sent. Dane promised to treat us for crabs on her first "Dirhams salary" hehehe. See, she's that generous. That is why we love her so much, ehem-ehem :) It's true though, regardless of crab money or not :)
We thanked Candy for the offer. It certainly felt like manna from heaven then hehehe. In turned, I offered to pay it back the next day since I'll finally be able to visit the bank and encash my salary. But then again, that is not what happened :) Dane offered to "replenish" the "crab-fund" instead hehehe. I just learned today from Candy.
Surely, all these get-togethers we're enjoying lately only magnified Dane's absence from our lives. And we can't wait for the day when we'll all be together again... physically that is. For most definitely, the friendship was not at all severed despited the distance... If anything, it made the friendship the more valued... Miss you Dane and Bong. Take good care of yourselves always. God bless...
Last weekend, the three of us were somewhat experiencing some kind of a "temporary" dryspell where our cashflow is concernd :D hehehe. So while we were about to die of thirst from doing all the "personhandling" of piles and piles of clothes, we still held on to our few, well-kept pennies thinking we'd better save it for "fare" the next day. Thankfully, Candy offered the "crab-money" Dane sent. Dane promised to treat us for crabs on her first "Dirhams salary" hehehe. See, she's that generous. That is why we love her so much, ehem-ehem :) It's true though, regardless of crab money or not :)
We thanked Candy for the offer. It certainly felt like manna from heaven then hehehe. In turned, I offered to pay it back the next day since I'll finally be able to visit the bank and encash my salary. But then again, that is not what happened :) Dane offered to "replenish" the "crab-fund" instead hehehe. I just learned today from Candy.
Surely, all these get-togethers we're enjoying lately only magnified Dane's absence from our lives. And we can't wait for the day when we'll all be together again... physically that is. For most definitely, the friendship was not at all severed despited the distance... If anything, it made the friendship the more valued... Miss you Dane and Bong. Take good care of yourselves always. God bless...
Extended Weekend
Nope, there wasn’t any holiday of sorts but it sure felt like it. The city experienced power interruptions the whole day today thus it was pretty much impossible to do any work. In my case, our sister organization had a whole day conference-meeting thus most of them were out of the office the whole day. So I was given the rest of the day off. Good thing I did some paperwork over the weekend that I was able to finish my end of the “dirty” liquidation work and was able to turn everything over to our Admin Officer. So it certainly felt like having my weekend extended. And what a weekend it was!
Synopsis (The short-cut version)
Friday, Candy and I saw a movie together. It wasn’t such a great movie in my opinion but Candy and I truly enjoyed each other’s company. But it was nothing compared to what we had last Sunday – almost a whole day of ukay frenzy! And it was such a treat, both literally and figuratively. There were lots of good stuff that day at really low, low prices. Enjoying that with Jenny and Candy – and Baby – sure was an added treat. We capped the day by enjoying some good conversation at Dunkin Donuts.
Oh, I correct myself. That was how I capped the day. I had to leave ahead of them when Baby did his “thing” hehehe I did not fancy cleaning him up in the tiny bathroom they had there so I decided to go home right away.
Apparently, Jeni and Candy spent some more time at the Ukay-ukay over at San Pedro and capped their day eating kwek2x! Both told me the experience was truly fun for them. Something they’ve never really done before. I’m glad to know they had so much fun.
I learned about their so-called escapade only this afternoon over pizza at Picobello. Yeah, sure was an extended weekend. Another long weekend well-spent with friends :)
The Longer Version (Complete with all the details, hehehe)
Pizza Monday. By three o’clock this afternoon, I was already enjoying a few slices of Pizza Marinaio and Siciliano along with Jeni, Candy, Bolo and Baby over at Picobello – another one of our fave local Italian resto :) We took advantage of their buy-one-pizza-take-one promo. It was still quite costly though but the promo lent a “you’re-getting-a-good-deal-out-of-your-money” feeling. And you are actually, given that you’re paying for just one of the really good pizza you’re having.
You can actually choose another “flavor” from the first one you’ve ordered so it’s really such a treat. Whatever is the more pricey one, that’s what you have to pay for. Not bad at all. And come to think of it, over at La Toscana, we usually pay twice as much for whatever we order there. So I take it back, it wasn’t really that costly, hehehe.
Marinaio, as expected was really good. It had seafood as toppings – squid, shrimp, and tuna. Siciliano, on the other hand, was good too. I particularly enjoyed the added flavor and texture lent to it by the slices of hardboiled eggs as its topping. It also has slices of artichokes, eggplants and bell peppers. It was really good. In the past we had sampled their ‘Four cheeses” pizza. As usual, the blue cheese was an acquired taste. It was good but I liked what we ordered today better. But enough of the pizza review :) I intended to write about how it turned out to be another good weekend.
Movie Friday. Friday night, Candy and I had a date of sorts. We went to see a movie. For the first time, we were actually able to catch a movie we’ve been really wanting to see. There had been countless of times when we kept on putting off watching a movie we liked till it’s no longer shown at the theaters-- always to our great disappointment.
We’ve also invited Jeni along but since it was a Tagalog movie we’re watching, she wasn’t quite convinced about choosing it over the report she had to finish. Bolo and I actually had a tiff over my going out that night. Nope, he wasn’t at all against it. In fact, he was really all for it and quite encouraging. It was I who was feeling a bit off at the thought that I was watching a movie without him.
Since we got married and even before that, watching a movie had always been something that we do together. So I was kind of wanting him to come along too. But when he found out it was Candy’s treat, he balked at the thought and said he’d stay home and watch over Baby instead. I made a great deal of out his “rejection” that we ended up fighting over it.
Hmm.. I’m about to digress again here. To me, it’s worth reflecting over why I always feel this need to make Bolo a part of “almost” everything that I do. But that’s an entirely different topic altogether. I’ll reflect and write about it later.
To cut it short, I tremendously enjoyed my time with Candy. I could not relate to the movie which was about infidelity – having an affair outside of marriage. But that did not stop me from sharing insights with Candy as we watched the movie along. It amused me to note that Candy took that of the wife’s perspective. She seems to always have an opinion to say on certain scenes that have got something to do with the wife’s reaction over her husband’s having a mistress. It sure was funny seeing her that way. I can’t help but think if we’d view the movie differently if we were “mistresses” ourselves hehehe I’m pretty sure we would have felt pity for Maricel’s character have we been mistresses instead of the wives that we are.
At one point Candy told me that “mistresses” should see the movie for them to realize that there are not enough excuses that would justify their having to break marriages. She said that while the wives have certain “imperfections” they are not enough reasons for husbands to take on a mistress, or words to that effect. I’m thinking, mistresses watching the movie would think differently. They’d probably see that what the mistress and the husband share was deep and “beautiful” and thus they should have pursued it till the end.
What I “saw” from the movie, however, was not about that. I saw that marriage is really a union of two different individuals. It’s about two persons with perhaps different background and different set of values deciding to start a life together as a couple.
Come to think of it, if one look at marriage that way, marriage is really like making something impossible work. Seeing it in that light, marriage indeed is such a daunting task. So, it would definitely be more difficult if you get married with someone you hardly knew in the first place. That was the case in the movie. I think it is the same thing as getting into something without knowing what it is that you really want.
But anyway, more than the movie, I was glad that Candy and I had that time for ourselves. We truly enjoyed each other’s company. Well, I speak for myself, hehehe.
Uneventful Saturday. Saturday, I just spent it at home. Around lunch time, Candy called and we sort of toyed with the idea of going out and meeting somewhere. I was momentarily short of funds, however, so I was not that keen about going out and Candy was sleepy too so that decided it. Sunday, however, was a different thing.
Not-At-All-Desperate-Housewives’ remedy for bruised pride and ego: Ukay Sunday! Very early, I was already nursing a hurt pride. Bolo was off diving but as early as Friday we have already agreed to go hear the anticipated Mass over at the Ateneo. But since he saw to the laundry the whole of Saturday and was tired, he begged off from our plan. Of course I did not take to it lightly. He appeased me with a promise we’d hear the first Mass the next day.
We both woke up real late that by the time we arrived in Church, we were too early for the second Mass. So we just offered some candles and decided to go home again. To appease me, Bolo said he’d really try his best to come home early in the afternoon.
It wasn’t until I reached home that the whole thing dawned on me. I pretty felt like a kid fooled, asked to dress up and promised an ice cream treat only to be given a popsicle in the end. I was so irked I called Bolo to tell him just that. That I felt I’ve been had. In response he said that he’d really try his best to come home early.
It turned out Candy was also somewhat irked with Archie, hehehe. We’ve decided that we had to remedy our somewhat feeling low. We agreed to go on a ukay frenzy that morning. I’ve been urging her to go to Bankerohan for some cheap but really good finds but we never came around to doing it. Finally, there was the opportunity. I called up Jeni who came and joined us later on.
I had to tag Baby along since Mama decided to go home to Empress that morning. So I was not really able to do any decent ‘hunting.” But it sure was great. When we came across a pile of Old Navy, Gap, Anne Klein, Mossimo, Banana Republic, etc. of really cute dresses, Candy and I almost fainted in delight, hehehe
The fainting was not due to the brand really or the fact that they looked brand new, some even with tags still. It’s more because of the fact that they are on sale for thirty pesos each. Imagine that! We were really like having a feast of sorts.
By the time Jeni arrived, Baby was already feeling up and perky. He was always toying with my hair, making a mess out of it. I was hardly dressed for anything that morning. I was in a hurry to meet the always prompt Candy that I had no time to think over what to wear. I grabbed a pair of old hiking shorts, don on a favorite kayaking shirt and grabbed the very first flip-flops I saw.
So I guess it was really no wonder when at one time, I was mistaken to be Candy’s yaya, haha! Really funny. I was carrying Baby at that time and helping him feed from his bottle. Candy on the other hand was busy leafing through the little girlie sundresses hung on a rack. Then this lady who was also sifting through the piles of clothes gestured to Baby and asked if he’s a “baby girl.” I said no. Then she gestured back at Candy and asked why she is looking at little girlie dresses. I almost laughed out loud when I realized what she was driving at. I politely told her Candy’s looking for dresses for her little girls, clearly implying that the baby I’m holding is my own.
After the lady left I told Candy how I suddenly became insecure about how I looked. She laughed off the incident and told me I was probably just mistaken. I told her I was most definitely not. But it was no big deal to me really. In fact, it was something that I regard as one of the highlights of the day.
Another highlight was Candy’s “Gap-pants-incident.” I’d rather not divulge what happened though as I could end up losing a very good friend haha! Sure was funny though and quite clever of Candy, I’d say.
All in all it was a great Sunday. Even baby’s wrong-timing-pooping was something I appreciated. Because it made me come home early. By the time Bolo texted me that he was already on his way home, I was already well-rested.
We ended up hearing the last Mass that day. Nonetheless it made me happy knowing Bolo was keen about keeping his word to me. One of the highlights that night was watching Baby’s beaming face as he dropped his one peso coin in the collection box :)
Synopsis (The short-cut version)
Friday, Candy and I saw a movie together. It wasn’t such a great movie in my opinion but Candy and I truly enjoyed each other’s company. But it was nothing compared to what we had last Sunday – almost a whole day of ukay frenzy! And it was such a treat, both literally and figuratively. There were lots of good stuff that day at really low, low prices. Enjoying that with Jenny and Candy – and Baby – sure was an added treat. We capped the day by enjoying some good conversation at Dunkin Donuts.
Oh, I correct myself. That was how I capped the day. I had to leave ahead of them when Baby did his “thing” hehehe I did not fancy cleaning him up in the tiny bathroom they had there so I decided to go home right away.
Apparently, Jeni and Candy spent some more time at the Ukay-ukay over at San Pedro and capped their day eating kwek2x! Both told me the experience was truly fun for them. Something they’ve never really done before. I’m glad to know they had so much fun.
I learned about their so-called escapade only this afternoon over pizza at Picobello. Yeah, sure was an extended weekend. Another long weekend well-spent with friends :)
The Longer Version (Complete with all the details, hehehe)
Pizza Monday. By three o’clock this afternoon, I was already enjoying a few slices of Pizza Marinaio and Siciliano along with Jeni, Candy, Bolo and Baby over at Picobello – another one of our fave local Italian resto :) We took advantage of their buy-one-pizza-take-one promo. It was still quite costly though but the promo lent a “you’re-getting-a-good-deal-out-of-your-money” feeling. And you are actually, given that you’re paying for just one of the really good pizza you’re having.
You can actually choose another “flavor” from the first one you’ve ordered so it’s really such a treat. Whatever is the more pricey one, that’s what you have to pay for. Not bad at all. And come to think of it, over at La Toscana, we usually pay twice as much for whatever we order there. So I take it back, it wasn’t really that costly, hehehe.
Marinaio, as expected was really good. It had seafood as toppings – squid, shrimp, and tuna. Siciliano, on the other hand, was good too. I particularly enjoyed the added flavor and texture lent to it by the slices of hardboiled eggs as its topping. It also has slices of artichokes, eggplants and bell peppers. It was really good. In the past we had sampled their ‘Four cheeses” pizza. As usual, the blue cheese was an acquired taste. It was good but I liked what we ordered today better. But enough of the pizza review :) I intended to write about how it turned out to be another good weekend.
Movie Friday. Friday night, Candy and I had a date of sorts. We went to see a movie. For the first time, we were actually able to catch a movie we’ve been really wanting to see. There had been countless of times when we kept on putting off watching a movie we liked till it’s no longer shown at the theaters-- always to our great disappointment.
We’ve also invited Jeni along but since it was a Tagalog movie we’re watching, she wasn’t quite convinced about choosing it over the report she had to finish. Bolo and I actually had a tiff over my going out that night. Nope, he wasn’t at all against it. In fact, he was really all for it and quite encouraging. It was I who was feeling a bit off at the thought that I was watching a movie without him.
Since we got married and even before that, watching a movie had always been something that we do together. So I was kind of wanting him to come along too. But when he found out it was Candy’s treat, he balked at the thought and said he’d stay home and watch over Baby instead. I made a great deal of out his “rejection” that we ended up fighting over it.
Hmm.. I’m about to digress again here. To me, it’s worth reflecting over why I always feel this need to make Bolo a part of “almost” everything that I do. But that’s an entirely different topic altogether. I’ll reflect and write about it later.
To cut it short, I tremendously enjoyed my time with Candy. I could not relate to the movie which was about infidelity – having an affair outside of marriage. But that did not stop me from sharing insights with Candy as we watched the movie along. It amused me to note that Candy took that of the wife’s perspective. She seems to always have an opinion to say on certain scenes that have got something to do with the wife’s reaction over her husband’s having a mistress. It sure was funny seeing her that way. I can’t help but think if we’d view the movie differently if we were “mistresses” ourselves hehehe I’m pretty sure we would have felt pity for Maricel’s character have we been mistresses instead of the wives that we are.
At one point Candy told me that “mistresses” should see the movie for them to realize that there are not enough excuses that would justify their having to break marriages. She said that while the wives have certain “imperfections” they are not enough reasons for husbands to take on a mistress, or words to that effect. I’m thinking, mistresses watching the movie would think differently. They’d probably see that what the mistress and the husband share was deep and “beautiful” and thus they should have pursued it till the end.
What I “saw” from the movie, however, was not about that. I saw that marriage is really a union of two different individuals. It’s about two persons with perhaps different background and different set of values deciding to start a life together as a couple.
Come to think of it, if one look at marriage that way, marriage is really like making something impossible work. Seeing it in that light, marriage indeed is such a daunting task. So, it would definitely be more difficult if you get married with someone you hardly knew in the first place. That was the case in the movie. I think it is the same thing as getting into something without knowing what it is that you really want.
But anyway, more than the movie, I was glad that Candy and I had that time for ourselves. We truly enjoyed each other’s company. Well, I speak for myself, hehehe.
Uneventful Saturday. Saturday, I just spent it at home. Around lunch time, Candy called and we sort of toyed with the idea of going out and meeting somewhere. I was momentarily short of funds, however, so I was not that keen about going out and Candy was sleepy too so that decided it. Sunday, however, was a different thing.
Not-At-All-Desperate-Housewives’ remedy for bruised pride and ego: Ukay Sunday! Very early, I was already nursing a hurt pride. Bolo was off diving but as early as Friday we have already agreed to go hear the anticipated Mass over at the Ateneo. But since he saw to the laundry the whole of Saturday and was tired, he begged off from our plan. Of course I did not take to it lightly. He appeased me with a promise we’d hear the first Mass the next day.
We both woke up real late that by the time we arrived in Church, we were too early for the second Mass. So we just offered some candles and decided to go home again. To appease me, Bolo said he’d really try his best to come home early in the afternoon.
It wasn’t until I reached home that the whole thing dawned on me. I pretty felt like a kid fooled, asked to dress up and promised an ice cream treat only to be given a popsicle in the end. I was so irked I called Bolo to tell him just that. That I felt I’ve been had. In response he said that he’d really try his best to come home early.
It turned out Candy was also somewhat irked with Archie, hehehe. We’ve decided that we had to remedy our somewhat feeling low. We agreed to go on a ukay frenzy that morning. I’ve been urging her to go to Bankerohan for some cheap but really good finds but we never came around to doing it. Finally, there was the opportunity. I called up Jeni who came and joined us later on.
I had to tag Baby along since Mama decided to go home to Empress that morning. So I was not really able to do any decent ‘hunting.” But it sure was great. When we came across a pile of Old Navy, Gap, Anne Klein, Mossimo, Banana Republic, etc. of really cute dresses, Candy and I almost fainted in delight, hehehe
The fainting was not due to the brand really or the fact that they looked brand new, some even with tags still. It’s more because of the fact that they are on sale for thirty pesos each. Imagine that! We were really like having a feast of sorts.
By the time Jeni arrived, Baby was already feeling up and perky. He was always toying with my hair, making a mess out of it. I was hardly dressed for anything that morning. I was in a hurry to meet the always prompt Candy that I had no time to think over what to wear. I grabbed a pair of old hiking shorts, don on a favorite kayaking shirt and grabbed the very first flip-flops I saw.
So I guess it was really no wonder when at one time, I was mistaken to be Candy’s yaya, haha! Really funny. I was carrying Baby at that time and helping him feed from his bottle. Candy on the other hand was busy leafing through the little girlie sundresses hung on a rack. Then this lady who was also sifting through the piles of clothes gestured to Baby and asked if he’s a “baby girl.” I said no. Then she gestured back at Candy and asked why she is looking at little girlie dresses. I almost laughed out loud when I realized what she was driving at. I politely told her Candy’s looking for dresses for her little girls, clearly implying that the baby I’m holding is my own.
After the lady left I told Candy how I suddenly became insecure about how I looked. She laughed off the incident and told me I was probably just mistaken. I told her I was most definitely not. But it was no big deal to me really. In fact, it was something that I regard as one of the highlights of the day.
Another highlight was Candy’s “Gap-pants-incident.” I’d rather not divulge what happened though as I could end up losing a very good friend haha! Sure was funny though and quite clever of Candy, I’d say.
All in all it was a great Sunday. Even baby’s wrong-timing-pooping was something I appreciated. Because it made me come home early. By the time Bolo texted me that he was already on his way home, I was already well-rested.
We ended up hearing the last Mass that day. Nonetheless it made me happy knowing Bolo was keen about keeping his word to me. One of the highlights that night was watching Baby’s beaming face as he dropped his one peso coin in the collection box :)
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
On Sundays (UK and Pizza Sunday)
Candy came to visit to the urging of Jeni who left before Candy arrived. Figure that out :p hehehe Sunday morning, Jeni and I met after the ten A.M. mass. I told her I would be going to Bakerohan to do some marketing and asked if she would want to tag along. I've been telling her about how cheap the ukay2x is over there and we've been planning to go for sometime now. And so off we did.
I did not have a decent breakfast so I was really hungry after the mass. We've agreed to walk all the way to Bankerohan from San Pedro. Owing to my hunger, we stopped at Dukin Donuts on the way. We had a donut each and an iced tea for me while she had a cup of hot choco. Before we knew it, we had an hour of "intense" conversation hehehe We were discussing some serious stuff about choices, writing, loving ourselves and growing old -- usual stuff where she and I are concerned :)
It was almost twelve when we decided to resume our walk. Just before the market, we passed by some "boutique-sort" of stall that sell a somewhat "more presentable" version of the Bankerohan ukays. Their stuff are laundered and were neatly hung. I knew it's going to be a lot more expensive there but we could not resist a few good finds. I was able to buy a "skort" for Janine -- a "Dora the Explorer" line -- at P 60 pesos. Expensive alright but it was really cute. I bought myself a brown "Xhiliration" skort too that is too short for comfort. I know from experience that Bolo would not approve but it was really cute so I decided to buy it anyway. For Baby, I was able to buy a really cute, red hawaiian-print polo at P 30.00 hehehe The material of the polo was really nice and it is not your usual loud, hawaiin prints. In fact, it looked real classy so I decided to buy it even if at first the lady there was selling it to me for P 45, which I think is too much for a tiny piece of shirt hehehe Luckily, I was able to haggle it for PhP 30 after I paid for the two skorts.
When we got to the market and found some stuff there -- Anne Klein, Prada, Mossimo, etc. -- at PhP 10 a-piece, I knew we certainly paid too much for our earlier finds hehehe Jeni was so pleased to have found a "Mary Kate and Ashley" really-cute-skirt for only ten pesos hehehe I was able to buy her 3 shirts also at five pesos each as my gift to her for her upcoming birthday.
We were enjoying ourselves so much we were pretty loathe to go when we both felt our stomachs rumbled in protest. It was already almost 2 PM and we haven't had lunch yet. So we decided to go home instead to have our lunch there. That's when Jeni asked me to text Candy to come over. However, when she called home she found out they are having some family-get-together so she went home earlier than intended.
By the time Candy got to the house, Jeni have already left. And so we kept ourselves busy by preparing some mini-pizza for our merienda. It turned out well and tasted quite good. Well, in my opinion anyway hehehe After some time Bolo arrived and served us fresh durian from Jeni. He went over there for some..err.. business transaction... and arrived with a tupperware full of meaty, creamy, really-sweet-and-tasty durian. As Candy would describe it, it was the perfect durian hehehe And it was.
Candy and I discussed some marital woes over our pizza and durian :) And I think it is a sensitive subject alright. I mean, of course each spouse ought to have our own personal time apart from the partnership we have with our husband or wife. But how long should that time be? Hehehe and does it have to fall on a Sunday when it would be best to spend it with the kids? I understand where Candy is coming from as I too have such concerns.
But Bolo and I already have an understanding where our Sundays are concerned. It had to be spent with the family with the stress on going to church together. There are times when he had activities at "work" that falls on a Sunday. Despite that, we had already agreed that we never miss Mass because of it. So we make compromises -- agree to wake up real early to attend the earlier service or that he had to leave early from his activity so we could attend the late afternoon service. It had to be that way. There had to be agreements and compromises. Otherwise, he'd have an incensed wife waiting for him at home who will make sure he'd have hell for a week hahahaha!
Well, not really. Looking back, it took a while really before I was able to impress upon Bolo how important Sundays are for me. I pointed out to him that it is important for me to have my Sundays right as it sets the tone for the week that will follow. I told him, if I do not hear Mass on Sunday and not be able to spend some quality time with him and Baby, I would feel as if my weekend was a total loss. And the feeling would haunt me for the rest of the week.
Actually, what tip it off for me really was when I pointed out to him how little my wants really are. I told him all I ask of him is that we hear Mass and spend our Sundays together. I told him that is enough to make me happy and nothing else. I also shared with him that nothing saddens me more than attending Mass alone and seeing families there. I guess he got my point, since after that he really makes the effort to go hear Mass with me. He also informs me beforehand if he had activities that fall on a Sunday and discuss with me what time we will be hearing Mass to accommodate his plans.
It's not always easy agreeing on things or to make compromises. Sometimes it's so easy to be really selfish and to cling on to what you want than to hear what the other wants. And I think there are really no formulas to a perfect marriage. We keep hearing from others that communication is the key. Maybe that's it. But I guess other than that, there's got to be empathy too and understanding -- knowing full well where the other is coming from and understanding why s/he is making such demands.
I guess it's really just a matter of laying down your cards, making clear what your expectations are and trying to reach at some kind of a compromise. I guess that is a tall order in itself. I think it works for Bolo and I because there is the genuine desire from both of us to make each other happy.
When I harped to him about hearing Mass and how Sundays ought to be spent with the family, I certainly did not win him over. He could only see me "nagging" him about it and not what I'm really trying to tell him. When I factored in the "making-me-happy" issue that's when he finally listened. And of course,there was sincerity for my part too. I did not dramatize the whole "happiness" issue. That would have turned him off completely.
Well, I guess the key really is this -- that each of you have the genuine desire to make each other happy. If you care enough for the person, of course you'd want him/her to be happy too. And of course you do not forget about your own happiness too. After all, if you just concentrate on the other's happiness and you forego your own because of it, pretty soon you'll be running on empty. Then you'd begin to begrudge the other person for that. Both of you will only end up losing in the end...
But then who would want to talk about "losing?" It makes marriage sound like some kind of a competition between husband and wife. And it's not. It should not be that way at all. How sad naman pag ganun :(
Haaay, marriage indeed is something you work at everyday... Bolo and I still have a long way to go where that is concerned. I just pray that we'll continue to be how we are to each other... So that no matter how big we're up against -- years of conditioning (from our childhood) and ghosts from the past -- we'd still be patient in dealing with each other, in helping each other become the best that we can be as a person. So God help us both!
I did not have a decent breakfast so I was really hungry after the mass. We've agreed to walk all the way to Bankerohan from San Pedro. Owing to my hunger, we stopped at Dukin Donuts on the way. We had a donut each and an iced tea for me while she had a cup of hot choco. Before we knew it, we had an hour of "intense" conversation hehehe We were discussing some serious stuff about choices, writing, loving ourselves and growing old -- usual stuff where she and I are concerned :)
It was almost twelve when we decided to resume our walk. Just before the market, we passed by some "boutique-sort" of stall that sell a somewhat "more presentable" version of the Bankerohan ukays. Their stuff are laundered and were neatly hung. I knew it's going to be a lot more expensive there but we could not resist a few good finds. I was able to buy a "skort" for Janine -- a "Dora the Explorer" line -- at P 60 pesos. Expensive alright but it was really cute. I bought myself a brown "Xhiliration" skort too that is too short for comfort. I know from experience that Bolo would not approve but it was really cute so I decided to buy it anyway. For Baby, I was able to buy a really cute, red hawaiian-print polo at P 30.00 hehehe The material of the polo was really nice and it is not your usual loud, hawaiin prints. In fact, it looked real classy so I decided to buy it even if at first the lady there was selling it to me for P 45, which I think is too much for a tiny piece of shirt hehehe Luckily, I was able to haggle it for PhP 30 after I paid for the two skorts.
When we got to the market and found some stuff there -- Anne Klein, Prada, Mossimo, etc. -- at PhP 10 a-piece, I knew we certainly paid too much for our earlier finds hehehe Jeni was so pleased to have found a "Mary Kate and Ashley" really-cute-skirt for only ten pesos hehehe I was able to buy her 3 shirts also at five pesos each as my gift to her for her upcoming birthday.
We were enjoying ourselves so much we were pretty loathe to go when we both felt our stomachs rumbled in protest. It was already almost 2 PM and we haven't had lunch yet. So we decided to go home instead to have our lunch there. That's when Jeni asked me to text Candy to come over. However, when she called home she found out they are having some family-get-together so she went home earlier than intended.
By the time Candy got to the house, Jeni have already left. And so we kept ourselves busy by preparing some mini-pizza for our merienda. It turned out well and tasted quite good. Well, in my opinion anyway hehehe After some time Bolo arrived and served us fresh durian from Jeni. He went over there for some..err.. business transaction... and arrived with a tupperware full of meaty, creamy, really-sweet-and-tasty durian. As Candy would describe it, it was the perfect durian hehehe And it was.
Candy and I discussed some marital woes over our pizza and durian :) And I think it is a sensitive subject alright. I mean, of course each spouse ought to have our own personal time apart from the partnership we have with our husband or wife. But how long should that time be? Hehehe and does it have to fall on a Sunday when it would be best to spend it with the kids? I understand where Candy is coming from as I too have such concerns.
But Bolo and I already have an understanding where our Sundays are concerned. It had to be spent with the family with the stress on going to church together. There are times when he had activities at "work" that falls on a Sunday. Despite that, we had already agreed that we never miss Mass because of it. So we make compromises -- agree to wake up real early to attend the earlier service or that he had to leave early from his activity so we could attend the late afternoon service. It had to be that way. There had to be agreements and compromises. Otherwise, he'd have an incensed wife waiting for him at home who will make sure he'd have hell for a week hahahaha!
Well, not really. Looking back, it took a while really before I was able to impress upon Bolo how important Sundays are for me. I pointed out to him that it is important for me to have my Sundays right as it sets the tone for the week that will follow. I told him, if I do not hear Mass on Sunday and not be able to spend some quality time with him and Baby, I would feel as if my weekend was a total loss. And the feeling would haunt me for the rest of the week.
Actually, what tip it off for me really was when I pointed out to him how little my wants really are. I told him all I ask of him is that we hear Mass and spend our Sundays together. I told him that is enough to make me happy and nothing else. I also shared with him that nothing saddens me more than attending Mass alone and seeing families there. I guess he got my point, since after that he really makes the effort to go hear Mass with me. He also informs me beforehand if he had activities that fall on a Sunday and discuss with me what time we will be hearing Mass to accommodate his plans.
It's not always easy agreeing on things or to make compromises. Sometimes it's so easy to be really selfish and to cling on to what you want than to hear what the other wants. And I think there are really no formulas to a perfect marriage. We keep hearing from others that communication is the key. Maybe that's it. But I guess other than that, there's got to be empathy too and understanding -- knowing full well where the other is coming from and understanding why s/he is making such demands.
I guess it's really just a matter of laying down your cards, making clear what your expectations are and trying to reach at some kind of a compromise. I guess that is a tall order in itself. I think it works for Bolo and I because there is the genuine desire from both of us to make each other happy.
When I harped to him about hearing Mass and how Sundays ought to be spent with the family, I certainly did not win him over. He could only see me "nagging" him about it and not what I'm really trying to tell him. When I factored in the "making-me-happy" issue that's when he finally listened. And of course,there was sincerity for my part too. I did not dramatize the whole "happiness" issue. That would have turned him off completely.
Well, I guess the key really is this -- that each of you have the genuine desire to make each other happy. If you care enough for the person, of course you'd want him/her to be happy too. And of course you do not forget about your own happiness too. After all, if you just concentrate on the other's happiness and you forego your own because of it, pretty soon you'll be running on empty. Then you'd begin to begrudge the other person for that. Both of you will only end up losing in the end...
But then who would want to talk about "losing?" It makes marriage sound like some kind of a competition between husband and wife. And it's not. It should not be that way at all. How sad naman pag ganun :(
Haaay, marriage indeed is something you work at everyday... Bolo and I still have a long way to go where that is concerned. I just pray that we'll continue to be how we are to each other... So that no matter how big we're up against -- years of conditioning (from our childhood) and ghosts from the past -- we'd still be patient in dealing with each other, in helping each other become the best that we can be as a person. So God help us both!
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Conversation
I almost jumped when I heard the doorbell rang. I knew immediately that it had to be Bolo since I had talked to him on the phone earlier and he told me he’s going straight to me instead of home. He just arrived in town after spending several days in Gen. San.
I jumped because I was still wrapping up an email and had yet to shut down the computer properly – which takes considerable time given my unit at the office. And of course I knew he hates having to wait for a long time especially if he’s bringing a lot of stuff with him.
True enough when I met him at the front door he had his day pack, a big box and a big plastic bag. He told me the box contained tuna, much to my delight. He warned me though that he was not able to bring much since there wasn’t much fish when they went to the fish port that morning. He said it was ironic considering the city was celebrating its tuna festival.
What surprised me though was when he immediately gestured for a kiss the minute I opened the door. He’s not much of a PDA-type of a person although he could be pretty affectionate too in public if he ever he feels like it. So I sort of kid him about it, saying he must have missed me that much; to which he replied matter-of-factly – “Of course!” Hehehe That was enough to make me feel “light-hearted” for several moments after that, feeling pretty much like a teen-ager hehehe
Moments such as these are what make me appreciate our being apart for some time. Because, they give us the opportunity to miss each other :) Although of course, I always have misgivings every time one of us had to go somewhere for some time. There’s the worry factor. You know, like you can’t help but be worried about his safety or well-being… And then there’s the trust issue as well hahaha Like what if he’ll get into temptations of some sort and would be weak enough to succumbed to it. Bolo had always been reassuring. And if truth be told he never really gives me the reason to ever doubt him. Still, it’s not really him that I don’t trust but the circumstances or the environment he’s in every time he’s apart from me. I had to make it clear though that while I’m worried about it, I don’t obsess much about it either. After all, he and I had already talked about it a lot of times and we’ve had our understanding on the matter already. Besides, I see obsessing about it as really just a waste of energy.
We went to the café next door to wait for Candy whom I already promised to treat for coffee. I’ve been wanting to show here the café next door for the longest time. It’s just a small café but very cozy, a place that anyone could readily appreciate. Personally, it panders to my dream of owning a similar joint. Good thing about the café too is that part of its earnings goes to a “peace fund.” The owners of the establishment assist communities affected by the arm conflict in some parts of Mindanao. So it sort of makes one feel good about throwing a good amount of money on just a cup of coffee.
It took awhile before Candy came. Bolo and I were already catching up on what he had been doing while he was in Gen. San when she arrived. He was so excited in sharing with me the fun they had while participating in the race. He was enthusiastic about the food, which I could pretty much imagine why. That is also what I like about Gen. San – the food! hehehe The freshest seafood, the different kinds of fish – pompano, tuna, sashimi, and diana that literally melts in one’s mouth…sigh! :)
The conversation became even more enjoyable with Candy around. At one instance, I turned to her and pointed out how Bolo and I could get so engrossed talking to each other. I guess that is one thing I appreciate about our relationship. We enjoy each other’s company. I mean, Bolo and I are really friends aside from being husband and wife to each other. That is why it’s so easy for us to talk to each other about anything. Our mornings are usually like that. We’d wake up early but it takes a while before we rise from the bed. We would usually spend the whole time just talking and catching up on things… Hope we'll remain like this for a long, long time :)
I jumped because I was still wrapping up an email and had yet to shut down the computer properly – which takes considerable time given my unit at the office. And of course I knew he hates having to wait for a long time especially if he’s bringing a lot of stuff with him.
True enough when I met him at the front door he had his day pack, a big box and a big plastic bag. He told me the box contained tuna, much to my delight. He warned me though that he was not able to bring much since there wasn’t much fish when they went to the fish port that morning. He said it was ironic considering the city was celebrating its tuna festival.
What surprised me though was when he immediately gestured for a kiss the minute I opened the door. He’s not much of a PDA-type of a person although he could be pretty affectionate too in public if he ever he feels like it. So I sort of kid him about it, saying he must have missed me that much; to which he replied matter-of-factly – “Of course!” Hehehe That was enough to make me feel “light-hearted” for several moments after that, feeling pretty much like a teen-ager hehehe
Moments such as these are what make me appreciate our being apart for some time. Because, they give us the opportunity to miss each other :) Although of course, I always have misgivings every time one of us had to go somewhere for some time. There’s the worry factor. You know, like you can’t help but be worried about his safety or well-being… And then there’s the trust issue as well hahaha Like what if he’ll get into temptations of some sort and would be weak enough to succumbed to it. Bolo had always been reassuring. And if truth be told he never really gives me the reason to ever doubt him. Still, it’s not really him that I don’t trust but the circumstances or the environment he’s in every time he’s apart from me. I had to make it clear though that while I’m worried about it, I don’t obsess much about it either. After all, he and I had already talked about it a lot of times and we’ve had our understanding on the matter already. Besides, I see obsessing about it as really just a waste of energy.
We went to the café next door to wait for Candy whom I already promised to treat for coffee. I’ve been wanting to show here the café next door for the longest time. It’s just a small café but very cozy, a place that anyone could readily appreciate. Personally, it panders to my dream of owning a similar joint. Good thing about the café too is that part of its earnings goes to a “peace fund.” The owners of the establishment assist communities affected by the arm conflict in some parts of Mindanao. So it sort of makes one feel good about throwing a good amount of money on just a cup of coffee.
It took awhile before Candy came. Bolo and I were already catching up on what he had been doing while he was in Gen. San when she arrived. He was so excited in sharing with me the fun they had while participating in the race. He was enthusiastic about the food, which I could pretty much imagine why. That is also what I like about Gen. San – the food! hehehe The freshest seafood, the different kinds of fish – pompano, tuna, sashimi, and diana that literally melts in one’s mouth…sigh! :)
The conversation became even more enjoyable with Candy around. At one instance, I turned to her and pointed out how Bolo and I could get so engrossed talking to each other. I guess that is one thing I appreciate about our relationship. We enjoy each other’s company. I mean, Bolo and I are really friends aside from being husband and wife to each other. That is why it’s so easy for us to talk to each other about anything. Our mornings are usually like that. We’d wake up early but it takes a while before we rise from the bed. We would usually spend the whole time just talking and catching up on things… Hope we'll remain like this for a long, long time :)
Monday, August 20, 2007
Long Weekend
"Tita, I think, when Baby grows up, he's going to be the happiest man in the world!" China, Candy's eldest and really cute daughter quips at me. I smiled at her and asked, "Why?" She quickly responded -- "Because he is always smiling!"
That brief exchange certainly placed a smile on my face for the rest of the evening and everytime I'd remember the conversation. The kids had just spent the whole late afternoon and night together then. And looking back, it seemed that they were having so much fun together, Baby included.
It was a long weekend -- we had a Friday holiday because of the Kadayawan celebration and a Monday off, in remembrance of Ninoy Aquino's death. So by Thursday night, I was urging Candy to go watch a movie with me. We've been wanting to watch HP but never gotten around to doing it. But on the last minute Jeni texted and urged us to have pizza and pasta instead.
La Toscana is always a welcome treat. So we had a change of plans and enjoyed two kinds of pasta -- my favorite, Arrabiata and Pomodoro. We also sampled 2 kinds of pizza, one being Marinara with crab meat and shrimps on it which was really good :) At first there was just Candy, Jeni, Towi and I. Later on Bolo joined us just as the second pizza was served. Archie also arrived but just when we were about to go already.We started a conversation over pizza -- initiated by Jeni about certain "arrangements" in her life. Owing to the fact that there is still so much to talk about and with Archie not able to enjoy the pizza at all, we decided to move the "rendezvouz" elsewhere.
And so we did. We moved to MTS and things started to become really interesting owing to a confusion brought about by a certain "5 + 1" promo they are having there. Right Kends? Wink, wink haha! Interesting indeed. The whole time, I was like kicking Bolo under the table and pinching him at his side hehehe But everything evened out when Jeni arrived after taking Towi home. The conversation miraculously turned sober and funny once again. Well, it also helped that Bolo's tongue seemed to have loosen up a bit after two bottles of...err...redhorse. So he was like making remarks and me trying my best to cover up what he just said hehehe It was fun though :) But I think what really eased the tension then was the chocolate oatmeal fudge bar that miraculously appeared at our table hehehe
Friday was the greatest though. By 5 PM, Candy, Jeni and I met for an "Ukay" rendezvouz. We've talked about it before and so owing to the free time, we finally managed to do it. When Candy informed me she was tagging along her two daughters, I was like wondering if she could manage that fine. It turned out I was the one who had difficulty trying to keep my "kiti-kiti" one-year old from being all over the place. But I certainly enjoyed seeing him having so much fun. Below are some of the pix we had with the kids playing around while we Moms are busy going through some "ukay goodies."
After a few finds, we opted to go to Victoria Plaza to continue our Ukay hunt and to meet up with Bolo who was manning a wall and a scooter activity area at the carpark. It was an Edge activity in coordination with Coca-Cola for the Kadayawan festivities. Anyway, we rode the jeep in going there. The whole ride saw China and Asia taking turns singing some of their songs from school. Baby was singing along too and showed off some of the "action" songs he knew. It felt pretty much like we were on a field trip something hehehe I was afraid that some of the passengers found us a bit noisy for comfort but we could see them smiling, obviously finding the kids' whole tirade cute. Well, who wouldn't? They're all cute kids haha! Spoken like a real Mom huh? :)
At one point Candy and I discussed how different our lives have become now. If before there used to be just us going around, now we have our little ones in tow which is cute really. It's fun watching our kids grow up and witnessing their own personalities evolving and taking shape right before our very eyes. I feel blessed that we have some opportunities to share experiences such as this with each other. It's good to note that the friendship we have shared in college extended to this very day and to our little ones as well. I hope these kids will grow up to be friends as well :)
Monday, June 04, 2007
Taking Care of One's Own
I think one has no business dreaming/ talking about making a difference, helping others, pitching in in development work if you don't know a thing about taking care of one's own. I think it is hypocritical to quote the bible every now and then, boast about one's regular attendance to services if you cannot be charitable to people within your own backyard.
Before, I used to be so wary of announcing to the world that I belong to a certain Spiritual community or that I attend regular worship service. It's not because I am ashamed of my God or ashamed that I'll be associated with such activities. In the first place, I feel blessed to have had such kind of relationship with my God so I don't see why I ought to be ashamed about it. In fact it is the other way around. The reason why I don't make such "pronouncements" is because I'm afraid I may just shame my community.
Establishing that close relationship with Him, the more I am made aware of my own weaknesses. As I get to know more about Him and His goodness, the more I know of my own imperfections, of my own brokenness. I know every now and then I would say or do things that would not only be unpleasing to His eyes but also to the people around me.
Ironically, it's not His wrath that I fear the most. It's other people's judgment of me. No, it's not even that. It's the judgment that may boomerang back to my community for whatever "falling short of perfection" that I may commit.
That is why sometimes I "envy" people who could talk so openly about their own spiritual practices, like how often they would go to Mass, or how often they do charitable works... I wish I could have the same zeal that they do.
Oh, but I'd like to correct myself. I do have the zeal, I just don't sing openly about it. Ah... I've said a lot of things here already when all that I wanted to say now is that I am hurting. I've been hurting for a long time even if I don't also speak openly about it. I am hurting because I have trouble fitting in. I am hurting because while I wanted to establish relationships, I often feel I'm up against a brick wall. It's hard when even at the onset it's been underlined time and again that you're on your own and that you do not belong.
Oh, I don't really mind not establishing the relationships. I'm fine all by myself. And besides, I'm really quite wary where that is concerned. Because, relationships matter the whole lot to me. Friends to me are not just pals. They're family, loved ones. To them I'll give all of me without any hesitation should the situation call for it. That is why I don't really always jump at the chance to "acquire" more relationships than I already have.
Still, establishing relationship is necessary with people you have common goals with. It is but only common sense to do so. Oh but yeah, I forgot, I am on my own and we necessarily don't share a common goal...
I am hurting because I felt I am shortchanged. I am hurting because I had had such high expectations from people whom I thought knows more about God's love and about translating it into this world. I am hurting because when at the time I was hurting I did not feel the slightest hint that they were hurting along with me. Kahit respeto lang man sana. All that they succeeded was in making me feel that I was worthless to them. Oh, I did not expect much like they would have to smother with flowers and all that stuff. A simple "how are you?" would have been more than enough.
I'm asking myself, have I set such high expectations that is why I am hurting now? No, in fact I did not have any expectations at all. But, I guess I did not expect total disregard as well. My God, I lost a child and it's a painful experience. I had expected that mothers would have at least understand the pain I must be going through. I expected that those who seek to establish relationship with God everyday would know how to extend a comforting hand to those who needed it. So yeah, maybe I did have such high expectations. This is the only way that could explain the hurt I'm feeling now... But yeah, I'll get over this. I am in fact feeling better now. I just felt that I had to express all that I've felt so it wouldn't have to be a baggage, a burden I'll be carrying around with me.
If anything, I take comfort in the fact that my God did not fail me at all. He had always been with me every step of the way. And there were my friends too, my family... If there's anything I get out of this whole experience, it's that God reaffirmed His promise to anyone who loves Him -- that indeed He would never forsake us or abandon us especially in time of need. With that, what more shall I want?
Before, I used to be so wary of announcing to the world that I belong to a certain Spiritual community or that I attend regular worship service. It's not because I am ashamed of my God or ashamed that I'll be associated with such activities. In the first place, I feel blessed to have had such kind of relationship with my God so I don't see why I ought to be ashamed about it. In fact it is the other way around. The reason why I don't make such "pronouncements" is because I'm afraid I may just shame my community.
Establishing that close relationship with Him, the more I am made aware of my own weaknesses. As I get to know more about Him and His goodness, the more I know of my own imperfections, of my own brokenness. I know every now and then I would say or do things that would not only be unpleasing to His eyes but also to the people around me.
Ironically, it's not His wrath that I fear the most. It's other people's judgment of me. No, it's not even that. It's the judgment that may boomerang back to my community for whatever "falling short of perfection" that I may commit.
That is why sometimes I "envy" people who could talk so openly about their own spiritual practices, like how often they would go to Mass, or how often they do charitable works... I wish I could have the same zeal that they do.
Oh, but I'd like to correct myself. I do have the zeal, I just don't sing openly about it. Ah... I've said a lot of things here already when all that I wanted to say now is that I am hurting. I've been hurting for a long time even if I don't also speak openly about it. I am hurting because I have trouble fitting in. I am hurting because while I wanted to establish relationships, I often feel I'm up against a brick wall. It's hard when even at the onset it's been underlined time and again that you're on your own and that you do not belong.
Oh, I don't really mind not establishing the relationships. I'm fine all by myself. And besides, I'm really quite wary where that is concerned. Because, relationships matter the whole lot to me. Friends to me are not just pals. They're family, loved ones. To them I'll give all of me without any hesitation should the situation call for it. That is why I don't really always jump at the chance to "acquire" more relationships than I already have.
Still, establishing relationship is necessary with people you have common goals with. It is but only common sense to do so. Oh but yeah, I forgot, I am on my own and we necessarily don't share a common goal...
I am hurting because I felt I am shortchanged. I am hurting because I had had such high expectations from people whom I thought knows more about God's love and about translating it into this world. I am hurting because when at the time I was hurting I did not feel the slightest hint that they were hurting along with me. Kahit respeto lang man sana. All that they succeeded was in making me feel that I was worthless to them. Oh, I did not expect much like they would have to smother with flowers and all that stuff. A simple "how are you?" would have been more than enough.
I'm asking myself, have I set such high expectations that is why I am hurting now? No, in fact I did not have any expectations at all. But, I guess I did not expect total disregard as well. My God, I lost a child and it's a painful experience. I had expected that mothers would have at least understand the pain I must be going through. I expected that those who seek to establish relationship with God everyday would know how to extend a comforting hand to those who needed it. So yeah, maybe I did have such high expectations. This is the only way that could explain the hurt I'm feeling now... But yeah, I'll get over this. I am in fact feeling better now. I just felt that I had to express all that I've felt so it wouldn't have to be a baggage, a burden I'll be carrying around with me.
If anything, I take comfort in the fact that my God did not fail me at all. He had always been with me every step of the way. And there were my friends too, my family... If there's anything I get out of this whole experience, it's that God reaffirmed His promise to anyone who loves Him -- that indeed He would never forsake us or abandon us especially in time of need. With that, what more shall I want?
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Alex's Homecoming
Well, it wasn't really much of a homecoming =) We've been what? Together for just three hours? But what three hours it was! It was three hours of catching up, exchanging experiences and views on relationships. I'd say, for everything that we've covered, it seemed we pretty much maximized the little time we'd had.And to think it almost did not happen. We're supposed to go out Satur
day night. But then it rained. Aside from that, Bolo and I spent most of the afternoon till 7 pm in marketing, going to the grocery store and cooking. It was Jeni's Mom's -- our Godparent during our wedding -- birthday party. She (Jeni) "delegated" to us the cooking of one vegetarian dish -- the "sumptuous" pakora =) For those who do not know what a pakora is, it is like your vegetable tempura. Only in this case, we make use of besan flour (chick pea flour), some kinchay (to add to the flavor and to give the dish that wonderful smell), and some seasonings for the batter. And, we used oyster mushrooms instead of the regular vegetables. We also made use of cauliflowers for that "chicken lollipop" effect.Anyway, I was too beat after rushing with the cooking and baby was not feeling so well that I thought it not a good idea to go out. I wasn't even able to attend the party, much more so have the energy for some night-out-get-together.
Good thing we pushed through with it tonight. It sure was fun. The
conversation had really been great. It is surprising considering that we haven't really seen Alex for more than ten years already. At first I was a bit hesitant about going. I thought we might run out of things to say to each other. After all, we hardly share anything common now. But it sure was fun learning about each other's lives at present.We talked about our marriage, our relationships with our spouses, our struggles, courtship, keeping the relationship, sex. Yeah, we even talked about that and had fun laughing. We also talked about betrayal. But it was nothing heavy. We talked about how it could create such a dent in a relationship... I sit here and think how we have come a long way from those years we spent in college talking about tapes, music, MTVs and worrying about where to copy our next assignment from hehehe. There we were talking about more serious adult stuff.
I appreciated the fact t
hat Alex was also very much open during our conversation. While neither of us really went into the sordid details of our respective relationships, I felt that each of us had really been open with each other. At one point pictures were exchanged. I must say those of Alex and his wife were really good ones. For Jeni, Candy and I, they were mostly "Mom stuff" -- pictures that have our babies in them =) And, they were just as good =)Before we knew it, it was already time to go. I know we all shared the feeling that we would have wanted for the conversation to go on. But Alex had an early flight to catch tomorrow. I have to think of Baby and Bolo waiting for me at the shop. Candy's kids are starting school the next day. As for Jeni, she had all the time in the world hehehe.
For all that we've shared -- our relationship woes included -- I really wish that each of our relationships will turn out well in the end and that we'll get over whatever challenges we may be having now. We're all adults now and we know that the courtship
stage doesn't go on forever. We're mature enough to know that relationships also mature over time. The heart-thumping, breath-taking, "electrifying" moments we experienced during the courtship stage will soon give way to moments of adjustments, facing issues, encountering conflicts and growing together. All of which are realities that relationships have to go through. Still, a part of me believes that the magic both partners felt during courtship could be sustained all through the years. Both partners just have to work at it and be creative about it... I wish such a relationship for each of us. The kind of relationship not only where there is love, commitment and deep respect but also one that is fun and exciting.Hey Alex, it sure was fun seeing you again. Hope you'll come visit again soon. And guys, thank you so much for the fun time we've had. Thanks for the friendship =) Only wish Dane could have joined us then. Lourdes too =)
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