Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Some More Legazpi Pictures and On Bicol Express!


For check-in please - laptop, baby, baby bag, backpack, trolley, and box. Hehehe on second thought, the first three items not included :) (Photo taken at the Manila Domestic airport on our way back home to Davao)


Bb Bullets: Ok, Nanay, I told you I prefer to be independent. (Photo taken on board PAL flight bound for Manila from Legazpi)


Bb Bullets (continuing the conversation): You see, Nanay, I'm quite capable to reflect on all my actions too. See here, I'm deep in thought.



Bb Bullets: Now, have I made myself clear, ha, Nanay?


Bb Bullets: Now, kindly hold this cap for me.


Bb Bullets: And leave my baby bag on the floor right there. I don't have a need for it at the moment.


Bb Bullets: Ay Nay, there's a cute co-passenger seated right behind you. He's friendly too. (Photo taken on our flight to Legazpi).


Tatay tending Bb Bullets at the Davao Airport while waiting for our flight to Manila.


Just came in from lunch. And of all places to sample Bicolano cuisine, it has to be here in Davao. Just had "kinunot" for lunch. It's a viand that is sort of the fish version of Bicol Express.


Now on Bicol Express, it had to take me all the way to Legazpi to learn that an authentic Bicol Express is comprised of pork cutlets stewed in coconut milk with chopped chili pepper in the equal amount (if not more than!) of the pork cutlets hehe. If you go to some restaurants here, their version of Bicol Express would be mixed vegetables in coconut milk with chopped chili peppers. And all this time I took that to be the real B.E. So imagine my amazement when we found out otherwise in Legazpi. With the pork thrown in into the dish I immediately knew I'd be going home without sampling any of the local food in Legazpi. Except the pili of course hehe. I was told that on the second day of our training, we had laing as one of the fares served to us. I was too busy on other things to have noticed. The hotel staff alredy knew of my food preferences so they would readily prepare a separate set of meal for me. Too bad they thought I wouldn't want to have some laing :(


So it was quite refreshing to chance upon authentic Bicolano cuisine over at the City Triangle earlier. I immediately liked kinunot at first sight. I mistook it to be some vegetable dish. It had some malungay leaves thrown in but it was basically fish cutlets stewed in coco milk with some amount of chopped chili peppers on it, pretty much like the B.E. When I saw the laing (with pork though) and the BE served the Legazpi way, I looked up to see what the stall's signage was. It read, "Sili't Gata, the Authentic Bicolano Cuisine" hehe Imagine my surprise. And delight! hehe Funny how ironic things could be sometimes huh? :)

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Traveling Light with the Perfect Guide

Just came in from a meeting. We talked about some project concerns. Those concerns, thankfully, had been addressed pretty well. All had been settled. Not only that. I also came out of that meeting a little bit richer from the learning I have gained.

While wrapping up on our session, one person we’re with candidly shared some of his experiences at work while he was still starting out. Some of those where success stories of the things he had accomplished while doing community work. One of those stories pertain to his experiences with the Aeta-Manobos. He related how it was difficult to organize them given that they are basically nomadic in culture. He said that the Manobo’s do not accumulate assets. They would only keep to the basics. And basics spell out – one “caldero” for cooking their food and one “tabo” to use for drinking. That and nothing more. This, owing to the fact that they are constantly on the move. Accumulating assets more than that would have meant a cumbersome journey and they only meant to travel light.

That struck me. Yesterday, I’ve been basically bogged down by a lot of emotional baggage. Had had too many worries to contend with. Let’s just say I wallowed in uncertainties yesterday, not quite knowing whether I ought to move forward or to go try another path. It concerned my work really and some issues I’m having with it at the moment. Let’s just say that they were really unfounded worries, just some anxieties that I allowed to grow out of perspective in my head. And hearing about the Manobo’s and their habits of traveling light made me realize that traveling light can also be pretty much applied to one’s state of mind.

Carrying far too much baggage is tantamount to making your life’s journey far too complicated than it already is. It would be like putting in far too many suitcases on top of your head while you are trying to maneuver your way in life. I wonder how does one make sound decisions, when there are far too many obstructions covering your view?

Yesterday, my soul was not in peace. I allowed my fears and concerns to disconcert me. I was like trying to scare myself out of my own doing. It was such a heavy feeling to have. Today I am reminded that I needed to travel light. That I need not carry on far too many burdens. There’s no sense allowing my fear and uncertainties to unrest me. Today, I am reminded that all I really needed in life are simple things, enough to get me by. There’s no sense in making my life more complicated than it already is. It all boils down to choices really. Making the right ones that is. And at the moment, I’m opting to travel light. No more wallowing on uncertainties. Worries are far too heavy a burden to carry around all day. I really would just have to continue clinging on my faith - faith that God is in control and that He is sure to set things accordingly.

This morning, when I woke up, I felt the urge to read the Bible that had always been lying, seldomly opened, at my bedside table. And I did. Immediately, I felt God’s comfort as I read the first verse that I had come to. His message was clear, that He is always with me and that I am not alone in my personal battles. The comfort I had felt this morning was like a cloak that covered my entire being all through out today. And He did not just stop there. He peppered my day with learning and assurances from the conversations I’ve had with the persons I came in contact with today. Truly, He is a loving God and He watches over His flock quite tenderly and protectively. I could not thank Him enough.

Monday, July 17, 2006

I'm back!

After year of being grounded, B and I, finally was able to go to a trip together. Ah, with Bb Bullets in tow of course :) So in the afternoon of our anniversary, we packed our bags and headed to the airport.


Sleeping Baby at the airport . Taken just hours before our flight to Manila. Our flight was delayed so we practically sat in the airport for hours.


The anniversary thing was a blur altogether. We went to hear Mass at the Shrine and headed home to continue with our packing. The night before that, on the eve of the day itself, we spent it packing and arguing hehehe as to what to bring, etc. B had some red wine ready and some chips to sort of celebrate the eve of the day, but we ended up too exhausted to bother celebrating. We had realized one thing though, it really is tough to go traveling with a baby. Lots of things had to be considered. And, packed! We had to pack along his sterilizer, a mini electric thermos (in-case the hotel won't have any), and a bunch of clothes that would answer his any need – jackets, pajamas, and socks should it be cold and aircool sando’s and shorts should it be warm! Haaay! Hehehe Although we knew that we would have a need for it, we left his stroller home. As it is, we were already pretty much overwhelmed with the amount of luggage we had.


At the centenial airport waiting for our plane to Legazpi. (Hmm... ano to? Capital and small letter B? hehehe carbon copy eh no?)


The entire B family hehehe

We went to Legazpi. To see Mayon with our own two eyes hehehe Actually, I was on a business trip. I had work there. And since I would be gone for quite a while, it was of no question that Baby should tag along too. We could not imagine what his being apart from me could do to him. Although it would entail quite a huge amount, we were willing to spend it. We did think about it a lot though. In the end, B and I both agreed we are both investing on Baby’s emotional well-being. We could not subject him to a sudden separation from me, considering that he’s still breastfeeding and all. So off we went to Legazpi.


A view from the plane. Mt. Mayon's "blowing" chimney peak amidst the clouds.


Ah. Majestic Mt. Mayon

What greeted us when we’re about to land was magnificent, beautiful Mt. Mayon in all her morning glory. She stood there, welcoming us, standing erect as if to show us how formidable she is. She was simply awesome. I will always be loyal to Mt. Apo as she is my first love but Mt. Mayon was breath-taking just the same. If Apo’s strength is evident upon first glance, Mayon exudes femininity and grace when I first caught a glimpse of her. I considered it a good sign that she showed herself to us that day. We were told beforehand that she would usually “hide” herself from visitors.


Landing finally at Legazpi

After a week of working in the mornings and breastfeeding baby at night, we finally managed to go around Albay. As expected, we went to Cagsawa Ruins. It was such a pity that Mayon did not show herself to us at that time. She was partly covered in clouds. But once in a while the clouds would disappear and we would see her in all her glory. But soon enough, she’ll be covered again thus not allowing us to take any decent pictures of her in her totality. But it was fun just the same. At one point though, a guide kid there pointed to us the trickle of mudflow from Mayon’s peak. It pretty much looked like the size of a highway to us, traversing down Mayon’s slopes. The kid informed us that while it looked quite a “slow” trickle from where we are standing, in actuality, the mudflow is really descending at such a high speed. Huh! For a moment I almost wished that she would display a bit of her “fire” just as she had in one of the pictures the kid had showed us of the 1993 eruption. She might have heard me since back at the hotel, we were surprised and at the same time delighted by the “fireworks” that’s going on at her peak. We could see fiery lava trickling down from the peak. It was an awesome and exciting display. At one point I wanted to wish it will continue but immediately grew sober when I thought about the families that would be affected if indeed she would explode. It would have been a sight to behold but I’m willing to pass that up. Especially when a local informed us that the flights will be cancelled should Mayon erupt. Huh! We can’t have that.


The famous Cagsawa Ruins . With Juliet and Te Jean F.



The Three B's


Mayon in the backdrop


We also went to the Satellite Market where most of Bicol’s native products and delicacies (Pili nuts! Yum!) are showcased. The bags were great but B gave me a horrified look when I tried to purchase one for Mama. He said we could not possibly add more to our luggage.


Beautiful Daraga Church!


Ah, nice shot this one.



Ah, Father and Son :)

I particularly enjoyed our visit to the Daraga Church. It was old and beautiful. We almost passed it up and I’m glad Ms. Minda noticed it and we stopped. It was worth making a time for it. We also went to Bicol University, toured it a bit. We toured around Albay too and at Brgy. Estanza which provided us a good view of Mt. Mayon and the entire Legazpi City and gulf.

It was a fun trip, albeit a tiring one, having to mind Baby constantly. But his smiling face sure did make the trip special. It was his smile that erased all my exhaustions away.


Asus! Our "energizer" for the entire trip :)

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Our Story

Tomorrow's going to be our anniversary. Imagine that. A year had passed ever since we had decided to make our lives more complicated hehehe Joke! I'd rather look at it as making our life more richer and fuller :) And yeah, more fun too! hehe

Below is an account of "our story" I wanted to post in here in view of tomorrow's "ocassion." I want to remind myself how we ever came to be... This was read during our wedding reception last year by a good friend, Anne. Thank you, Anne :) It went something like this...


On the evening of Nov. 29, 2001, Bolo and Rodilyn met for the first time. Only, they haven’t really noticed each other then. She went to Edge Outdoor Shop in Bajada to purchase a new pair of sandals she would be using for the 7th Mindanao Forum that will be held around Mt. Matutum in South Cotabato. Melai, her officemate and also a co-mountaineer, invited her to come along with some friends and Pastor and Mary Anne who were only sweethearts then.
Mary Anne was a classmate in a summer class during her first year in Ateneo. Pastor, she knew from her brief stint at wall climbing over at Torres. And so she accepted the invitation. When she made an inventory of her gears, she found out she is in need of a new pair of sandals. Melai offered to accompany her to Edge to purchase a new pair.

That’s when Bolo and Rodilyn met for the first time.

Bolo was the one who fitted in Rodilyn’s sandals for her. He first asked her to try on a size seven, hardly noticing that her feet were obviously small. She pointed out that fact to Bolo who, being a good salesman that he is, insisted that size seven give her enough room for comfort. To convince her further, he said that the size would allow her to use socks with the sandals should she want to. Unconvinced, Rodilyn asked for a size 5 and ½. As there had been none, she asked for a size 6. She tried on one, and being satisfied, concluded the sale and went home.

Both did not give each other a second look then. Rodilyn came for the sandals alone. Bolo, was only eager to make a sale and nothing more. Little did they know that fate had other plans for them. But here’s the catch, upon reaching home, Rodilyn found out Bolo gave her mismatching sandals. She had with her a size 6 for her left foot and a size 7 for her right! Obviously, Bolo made a mistake. He was probably distracted then and thus the error. Either that, or he was making sure Rodilyn will come back to the shop to make the switch. But upto this day, he denies having such intentions… As Rodilyn would have to leave that very dawn for South Cotabato and having no other pair of sandals to bring with her, she brought the pair anyway in case she needed them, mismatched and all.

At the forum, she found Rey there and informed him of the error. He advised her to just return the pair to the shop on her return to Davao. That’s what she did when she did went back to Davao. She returned to the shop 3 times but still got no replacement. There was no available size 6 for her. Getting tired of the whole thing, she requested Melai to do the switching for her as Melai sometimes drops by the shop on her free time. That was December of 2001. Let’s leave it at that. But take note of the sandals as this would play a very important role in their meeting each other again.

On to their second meeting. Again, this time, they hardly noticed each other. In fact, neither knew that the other existed. The sandals incident was entirely forgotten. And neither could have recognized each other have they bumped each other on the street. Their second meeting was on March of 2002. Melai, Rodilyn and Mary Anne teamed up to join the all-women team segment of a mini-adventure race organized by First Peak and Edge for the celebration of "Araw ng Dabaw." It was all for fun and for the experience for the three of them. To prepare for the race, Melai and Rodilyn would diligently jog at PTA grounds everyday after office hours. Once or twice, Bolo was said to have joined them. But Rodilyn had other friends with her and so she hardly noticed him, if at all. Neither did Bolo paid her any attention. He was friendly with another team.

On the day of the race itself, Bolo was the one assigned in one of the CPs of the race, particularly at the Caltex Gas station in Ma-a. Rodilyn’s team were the second of the women’s team to have arrived there. But they were able to leave the CP ahead of the 1st team as they were able to answer the riddle immediately. It was Rodilyn who answered the riddle so she really came face to face with Bolo then. Still, hardly any spark flew. Rodilyn was intent on the race. As she was answering the riddle, her mind had already been on what awaits them at the next Control Point. As for Bolo, he was busy performing the task assigned to him. And there were other female participants then. And, Rodilyn hardly stood out. To him, she was just another race participant.

The race ended with the team of Melai, Mary Anne and Rodilyn placing third, over-all in the women’s team. Bolo and Rodilyn again had the chance to be together during the awarding ceremony held in the evening after the race. But again, they hardly noticed each other. In fact, as this photo shows, they were really close to each other then but neither of them paid any attention to the other. This “not-noticing-each-other” routine, however, is understandable as both are very much into relationships. Rodilyn was nurturing a 2-year long distance relationship. Bolo, on the other hand, also has a girlfriend – and several flings – at that time.

Then Months passed. Rodilyn bought the sandals at the Edge on November of 2001. The race took place March of 2002. It wasn’t until June 2002, after 7 months! that Rodilyn finally got the replacement for her mismatched sandals, thanks to the efforts of Melai. But the replacement came just at the right time as DAP, Rodilyn’s office, was due for a trip to Boracay that month. She needed her sandals then. Over at Boracay, the sandals gave Rodilyn numerous cuts. While the fit is just right for her feet, the straps were a bit tight. Totally unaware that they were adjustable, she endured the pain all throughout. And then they all went back to the office. So Rodilyn went back to her old routine -- work and occasional side trips when her schedule allows it.

Then came July. Fresh from her Luzon trip, Rodilyn, with Melai, Chona, and Mamay decided to visit Epol in Marilog. Rodilyn had already been there on several occasions. But the mention of “Sandawa Falls,” made the trip appealing to her. She had never been to the falls yet.

The trip took two weeks to finalize. There were some work concerns. And there was difficulty in looking for a guide to take them to the falls. Melai had already gone there but could not vouch she could find the falls on her own. And so they needed a guide. Since Melai frequents Edge and had several friends there, she volunteered to take care of the matter. She then made some arrangements with Dong Estapia who first volunteered to be their guide. But something else came up. All of a sudden he had other plans. Or perhaps, it was fate that had other plans. So instead of Dong, Bolo became their guide then.

So on the last weekend of July they scheduled their trip to Epol. On that very weekend, fate had decided that it is high time that Rodilyn and Bolo start paying each other attention – some real good attention as they would have to spend the whole day together. Their hardly-noticing-each-other, one-doesn’t-know-the-other-existed drama is bound to change after that weekend.

That week, Rodilyn had to be in Carrascal in Surigao del Sur for some work concerns so it meant she would have to go home on Friday to make it to Epol the next day. She was tired from the long trip and hardly had any sleep. Still, she woke up at 3 a.m. the next day to be on time for their 4:30 a.m. rendezvous at Ecoland Terminal. Melai had informed her that they had to be early to have enough time to enjoy Epol. So right on the dot, Chona, Melai, Mamay and Rodilyn met at Ecoland Terminal at 4:30 a.m. of July 27, 2002.

Then lo and behold, there was hardly any sign of Bolo. He was late. Awfully late. Rodilyn was feeling a bit cross already, having had little sleep and having to wake up real early only to wait for a very late guide. It turned out that Bolo forgot about the trip and Melai had to call him to wake him up that morning. It wasn’t until 6:30 a.m. that Bolo arrived at the terminal. They immediately boarded the next available bus. Rodilyn took one look at Bolo then slept the entire trip. She was told later on that he had been real noisy the whole time, telling jokes and making fun of some of the passengers there. But Rodilyn was totally unaware of the whole thing. All she could think of was catching up on her sleep, which she did. It wasn’t until they were already at their desired stop that she woke up.

Then their adventure began… in the beginning, Rodilyn hardly paid any attention to Bolo. To her, he was just a kid who was there to take them to the falls and back. But perhaps Sandawa Falls worked their magic on them. Or perhaps it was the sandals that worked its magic on them. Having had little time to buy a new pair, Rodilyn again made use of the sandals for the trip.

Mindful of the cuts it had given her in the past, she wore the sandals with socks to protect her feet. They were already at the falls when Bolo noticed Rodilyn’s sandals and her socks. Quite tactlessly, he pointed out to Rodilyn that the socks made the get-up “baduy.” In other words, he was short of telling Rodilyn she was “baduy.” Rodilyn was unmindful of the criticism, however. She did not take it against him. Instead, she pointed out to him that the sandals were giving her cuts. And as if to counter his barb, she told him she now knows why the sandals are called “Sandugo,” kasi raw pala, dumudugo ang paa pag sinusuot na siya.

Then Bolo, ever loyal to their product, pointed out to Rodilyn that she should have adjusted the straps when she found out it was tight for her feet. Rodilyn smiled sheepishly. She did not know it was possible to adjust the straps. Then quite gallantly, Bolo helped Rodilyn take off her sandals and adjusted the straps for her. He asked her to try it on again. He was right. The sandals are now more comfortable to wear even without the socks. Then they all made their way to white cave. Bolo then started being chummy with Rodilyn. He walked with her on their way to the cave. At one point, he taunted a carabao and both of them were chased by it…

That’s how everything started. From then on, Bolo would look for a reason to be by Rodilyn’s side. He would constantly engage her in a conversation – talking about anything, from soccer to climbing to caving to almost anything. On their way home after spending the whole day in Epol, he found a way to sit by her side on the bus. Then like a kid he repeatedly said he wished the bus would have a flat tire so it would take them much longer to get to Davao. Di pa man, and kakakilala pa lang, humihirit na si Bolo. He was so charmed by Rodilyn. (Asus! This part I do not quite buy! hehe) Rodilyn, on the other hand, was only confused with how Bolo was acting up. She could not understand his sudden enthusiasm to be with her. She just shrugged it off as his being a kid – being playful and all.

When they reached Davao, they had dinner and decided to go home. Rodilyn was puzzled when Bolo offered to accompany her home since he lived somewhere close there too. She reminded him that he had told them he lived in Matina. And she lived in Panacan. That hardly equates to being “somewhere close.” Still Bolo found a way. He said they had a house in Buhangin too, so he’d go home there instead. Eager to just get home and rest, Rodilyn did not argue anymore. On their way there, he started asking for her phone numbers. Wary of his over-eagerness, Rodilyn told him she forgot her cell phone number as it was a new sim. But it was not easy to discourage Bolo. In the end, she gave him her phone number at home. In her mind, she is hardly home anyway, being at work and constantly on a travel, so he would soon tire calling and not catching her.

Then he dropped a bombshell on her. He asked her for a permission to court her. Ganun kabilis si Bolo. He did not waste any time. Rodilyn was taken aback. After all, she just met him and he hardly knew her. And the more she grew wary of him. She told him down pat -- she already has a boyfriend. And she thought that settled it. But Bolo just shrugged it off. He told her that if that’s the case, then he was content to win her friendship instead. So Rodilyn went home thinking the whole affair weird. But she was amused by it just the same. She thought that would end it all. That she would not see Bolo again. But how wrong she was.

Bolo proved insistent. Upon reaching home the next day after office, her Papa informed her that someone called looking for her. And that the same person had already called thrice. And that that person was a “he.” There was no censure though. Her father did not appear mad or something. Rodilyn just shrugged it off. While she suspected it was probably Bolo, she did not think much about it. But Bolo proved ingenious. He found a way to ask for her cell phone number. He first texted Melai for it. Then Melai asked Rodilyn for a permission to give it. Rodilyn found the whole thing amusing. And so she relented. That started a never ending barrage of “miscalls.”

Since it was hardly practical to text or call Rodilyn often, Bolo would content himself with constantly sending Rodilyn miscalls. Naging tampulan sa office tuloy nila Rodilyn. It had become a common joke in the office that they were beginning to memorize Rodilyn’s ringtone as it would constantly ring at intervals the whole day. Yes, the WHOLE DAY. It was Bolo’s way of making his presence felt constantly. Wala pa kasing landline noon sa Edge. Kung meron, malamang, tinawagan niya na si Rodilyn noon sa office. So miscalls na lang ang ginagawa niya.

Then, biglang nauso ang drop call. Ang swerte ni Bolo. It worked to his advantage. Since Rodilyn had to be constantly on travel because of work, it meant he would not see her often. So he took advantage of drop calls. Rodilyn would be on a travel but Bolo would find a way to contact her. So as not to disturb her while working, he would call her at night, making use of drop calls. Maalala nyo pano magwork yung drop call? Tatawag ka, say something for a few seconds then end the call para walang bawas sa load. That meant, he would call her ever so often in order to manage a full conversation. Tatawag siya, mag-hehello, end the call. Then, tatawag uli para magsimula ng kwento then end the call ulit para di mabawasan ang load. Tapos tatawag ulit… paulit-ulit. They would do that the entire evening till dawn.

Para di makaistorbo sa kasama niya noong officemate na si Jean Radoc, Rodilyn would have to hide underneath the pillow just to accept his calls. She would turn off the ringer of her phone and set it to vibrate mode para di maingay yung pag-dro-drop call ni Bolo. Yes, she was accepting his calls. Little, by little, he had endeared his way to her. His persistence was starting to work its magic.

But the more they had gotten close when a tragedy struck her family. Coming home from travel, Rodilyn found out her father was hospitalized. It all came as a shock to her. If anyone was sickly in the family, it was her Mama, not her father. He was hospitalized for 9 days. And Rodilyn was torn between wanting to give in to the weakness and the worry she was feeling, and that of being strong for her mother. It was putting much strain on her. It was something she had difficulty handling. Her cousins were all working out of Davao. There was no one to turn to. She could not cry to her mother as she felt she had to be strong for her. Also, her Dad’s medicines were quite hard to find. Kailangan niyang suyurin ang buong Davao halos para lang makita yung gamot na yon. That’s when Bolo proved handy. He would tirelessly accompany her just to look for the medicine. That’s when they had gotten close.

When Rodilyn's Dad died, every night Bolo would be at the wake. The wake lasted two weeks and Bolo came every night. Rodilyn was busy with family and friends so there were times she could not talk to him or entertain him during the wake. Still, every night he would come, sitting at the back, as if to just assure Rodilyn that he is just right there should she need him. He even helped during the internment. Yet even then, there was nothing but friendship between them. There was no relationship yet but the appreciation for each other was definitely there.

After all that, Bolo continued to court Rodilyn. He would bring her lunch, fruits, even ukay-ukay. Magdadala siya ng ulam when Rodilyn would have difficulty securing one for herself. By then she had already been on a strictly vegetarian diet. No meat, not even fish. So it was difficult buying food for herself. Knowing this, he would thoughtfully bring her food in the office when he can, which was quite often. Even at noon when the sun would be at its fiercest, Bolo would take his bike and ride all the way to DAP just to bring Rodilyn ulam.

And he did not stop there. When he found out her reason for switching to the diet, he made an effort to switch to a vegetarian diet too. So the meat-eater Bolo became a semi-vegetarian. He could not do away with the fish. While there was no formal commitment yet, they had committed themselves to keeping each other healthy. And everything just flowed from there. Before they knew it, they were already having a relationship and being constantly together when neither is on a travel. When one of them on travel, they would keep in touch by calling and texting each other.

Rodilyn introduced him to her set of friends and he had become a fixture to the group, accompanying them to travels, outing and other activities. It was easy to like him as he is kind, helpful and fun to be with. But it is his regard for Rodilyn that is very much apparent for all to see.

During climbs, instead of bringing his usual light pack, Bolo could be seen carrying a very tall, very compact backpack that he would often get teased. The reason for it is that he would be bringing with him as much as four jackets and two trekpants for Rodilyn knowing she is ”lamigin.” In all of those trips he would be bringing most of the load – grocery and all -- giving Rodilyn just enough load to carry.

They were teammates too. Though he wouldn’t want to participate anymore in some contests and knowing full well, teaming up with her meant matatalo siya since she’s a bit fragile for all those activities, still he would team up with her.

He has a passion for winning, still he would give in to her and team up with her knowing full well she doesn’t know how to swim. He would rather look out for her safety than win. Bolo understood Rodilyn’s passion for life and experience and so he supported her when he can. He understood her wanting to explore her physical limits and so he provided his physical strength where she is weak. And it worked both ways too. Rodilyn knew and understood Bolo’s passions. She understood his love for sports and adventure since she shared it also. She also understood his having such low self-esteem which he quite successfully hide by his being boisterous and fun to be with, and so she encouraged him constantly. She gives her support as much as he supported her. While he often spoils her, she does her share of spoiling him too.

But it’s not all a bed of roses for them though. They had their differences, lots of them in fact, that is also why they would fight a lot. They would often fight over the littlest of things. Still, their’s had been a wonderful “teamship” in almost three years of a shared relationship.

Now, they have decided to take a step further. They have decided to team up for yet another adventure – that of a married life and building a family. Just like any adventure, they face certain hurdles up ahead. There would be several of them up ahead. Still, let us be one with them in hoping that the teamwork that had sustained both of them all these years would be the same teamwork that would sustain them in what they are yet to face up ahead.

Let us all pray and hope that they would not forget what made them decide to pursue a joined life together, in the first place – that is their love and honest concern and regard for each other…

There were hurdles alright. Lots of them. There were times we came real close to calling it quits. But the "teamship" prevailed. Because our love for each other prevailed. In the course of that one year, I have seen the worst (maybe not yet) of Bolo and he had seen mine. There were times when one could feel the strongest dislike to the other. But at all times, the love prevailed.

I love you B. Happy Anniversary. It had been the most "stressful" hehehe yet the most fun year yet. We had been grounded for a year, having baby and all. I guess that was also the root of the tension between us -- being tied when what bounded us in the past was the freedom we both enjoyed. We had always been free-spirited. Faced with all of those responsibilities, I guess we both got a bit of a culture-shock hahaha! But little by little, we are learning the stroke. And though we don't quite synchronize at times, we always did make good music together. Thank you so much for continuing to be my strength when I was weak. Thank you for being my sweet "alalay" for the past 12 months.

Thank you for the intimate conversations that filled my spirit to the brim. Thank you for satisfying both my external and internal needs. Thank you for feeding not just my body but my spirit as well. Without your having to make an effort, by simply being who you are, you inspire me endlessly.... I could not thank you enough, there are a million other reasons why I should thank you. On top of this is how you are to our son. But this I could tell you, though at times I may not think so? I know that there could have not been the perfect partner for me than you. Love u ulit B. And as you sometimes say -- "consumingly."

Friday, July 07, 2006

Yaya

Yeah. We now have a yaya who officially started to work for us two weeks ago. Earlier, I was nursing baby when I noticed he would stop feeding only to crane his neck and look for his "yaya." That broke my heart.

Yaya's first few days had me a bit bothered already. Seeing her playing with him, had me seeing myself withdrawing inside, feeling a bit jealous. I knew it would only take a little while before Baby would start including her in his circle of trust. There used to be just two members in that circle - B and I. Okay, make that three - Mama, whom he would readily outstretch his hands upon seeing her, begging to be picked up. Just three. With yaya in the picture, that makes four. And I'm feeling a bit jealous at the thought of him bestowing such a "privilege" to persons other than us.

Hmm... now why is that? I don't know. Maybe I just want to cement that bond between us, make it a bit stronger before letting on others in the picture. Is that a bit selfish of me? Well, maybe. But Bolo and I had always felt that we couldn't trust anyone to care for baby in the degree that we do. I mean, I could breathe easier in the office knowing he is with his Tatay, whom I know has his best interest at heart. I know B feels the same way about me. But a stranger? I'm praying that she will also have a bit of "malasakit" that we have for our son. And I'm wishing too that Baby would not feel closer to her than with me. I hope continuing to nurse him would ensure that I'll still be on top of his list of those in his circle of trust hehehe Selfish, am I?

Sunday, July 02, 2006

I married a very beautiful person

Really God knows how to knock you in the head (in a very nice way) whenever you needed some good knocking to realize some things. Over the weekend, I have been subjected to such a reckoning.

Last week, Bolo and I had a row of some sort. That was probably the nth time for the month and I've reached the point wherein I was just tired from it all. I'm not proud of this but last Saturday I really did entertain the thought that maybe there was something wrong with the partnership. For a while I thought about "returning" him to his Dad hehehe I've told him as much. We had some quiet moments early morning yesterday. He was hugging me from behind while I was nursing baby. I was still smarting from the argument and so I told him quietly that I'm just about to reach the end of my tether. It was not said in a goading manner or in a way that I'm picking a fight. I just told him matter-of-factly. There was a point when I thought we would be arguing again but he just hugged me and said he's sorry and then he asked me to help him overcome himself. The fact that he was humble enough to accept his mistake and ask me to help him however got lost on me. I guess I was too focused on the hurt I was feeling I paid no attention to how kind my husband was being at that time.

In the afternoon after the mid-day Mass, we went to his lola's. His other aunts and uncles happen to live nearby too. We spent the most time at his aunt who was closest to his biological Mom. We were discussing other things when from out of the blue she asked me if I had already noticed something amiss about Bolo's attitude. She said something like his being very kind but there's just a quirk of some sort with him. I jokingly replied that perhaps I have and thus entertaining the thought of returning him to them. Her reaction however surprised me. With tears in her eyes she recounted to me a portion of Bolo's childhood. She painted quite a vivid picture that I felt my heart being torn too. I could see Bolo from where we're sitting and I tried hard to see in his countenance the pain brought about by those experiences. I could find none. He was teasing some of his pamangkins and cousins and playing with them. I saw a happy kid instead.

Then it dawned on me. I remembered once again how this relationship came to be in the first place. In the midst of those disagreements and adjustments, I have somewhat forgotten. We were back at the house already when I asked him about his childhood that his aunt shared with me. I asked him how he felt during those times. He told me he was happy. And yet, little by little some sadness crept in. He was probably remembering everything. But he wasn't really sad, sad. He was sort of detached already. As if he had long ago accepted the situation and had dealt with it. But at one point while he was telling me about a memory he had of his Mom, of him visiting her at where she is working and staying only for a very short time and her giving him Chippy -- he looked at me and said such is his lot. He told me that is why sometimes he might seem unmindful of me. I felt that he was explaining to me his shortcomings. He was telling me he loves me and that he's trying his best to show me that but that sometimes it is so difficult because he was never showed that in the first place.

I'm thinking now, how could I ever think otherwise? That what Bolo have given me is not enough? What he's showing me and his son everyday given his lack of it is something short of Herculean. How can you give something that you don't have in the first place? But Bolo has given. Much. Even as a boyfriend, he had already given much. As a husband, he had given twice, thrice the more. What I get a glimpse of every now and then are old traces of what he had gone through as a child. He would have to be a saint not to have those quirks given what he had been through.

As a detached person viewing Bolo from what I knew now, I see a very beautiful person, being able to bloom despite all the trash he had to grow up with. How he had survived all that and still managed to remain beautiful inside is something I could not fully imagine. His is a pure soul. Probably not that pure but by just looking at him you get to sense that he is one very kind soul. How could I have thought otherwise? It took a simple "reorchestration" from God for me to again realize that. I knew it was no accident that we went to his aunt's house. It was no accident that she told me all that she had. It was no accident that I get to see how he is with his lola. His lola could no longer recognize her own children, mistaking a daughter to be a stranger but she would consistently call Bolo by his nickname, "Tata." I saw how she called on him whenever she needed something. I guess it's so hard to forget him when he is consistently being mindful of her.

Ah I ache for the child that Bolo was. No wonder he's so big on hugs and so adamant about being there for his son. He is rewriting his history and making sure his son's own history would not in any way be near his. No wonder he would look gratefully at me whenever I am minding our son and giving baby attention and affection. I ache for the kid Bolo who had to grow up without all that. I ache to hold him now to make up for all that he lacked.

I love you my beautiful husband. Again, thank you for making my life richer and more meaningful than it already is. Thank you for making me realize a lot of things about giving and loving and life. I could never promise that I could supply you everything that should have been given you but was not. But I will try to love you as best as I could and as best as I know how...