Yaya

Yeah. We now have a yaya who officially started to work for us two weeks ago. Earlier, I was nursing baby when I noticed he would stop feeding only to crane his neck and look for his "yaya." That broke my heart.

Yaya's first few days had me a bit bothered already. Seeing her playing with him, had me seeing myself withdrawing inside, feeling a bit jealous. I knew it would only take a little while before Baby would start including her in his circle of trust. There used to be just two members in that circle - B and I. Okay, make that three - Mama, whom he would readily outstretch his hands upon seeing her, begging to be picked up. Just three. With yaya in the picture, that makes four. And I'm feeling a bit jealous at the thought of him bestowing such a "privilege" to persons other than us.

Hmm... now why is that? I don't know. Maybe I just want to cement that bond between us, make it a bit stronger before letting on others in the picture. Is that a bit selfish of me? Well, maybe. But Bolo and I had always felt that we couldn't trust anyone to care for baby in the degree that we do. I mean, I could breathe easier in the office knowing he is with his Tatay, whom I know has his best interest at heart. I know B feels the same way about me. But a stranger? I'm praying that she will also have a bit of "malasakit" that we have for our son. And I'm wishing too that Baby would not feel closer to her than with me. I hope continuing to nurse him would ensure that I'll still be on top of his list of those in his circle of trust hehehe Selfish, am I?