I've been staring at this presentation for a webinar next week. I know I ought to finish it. Well, it is finished but I know I needed to edit it further in order to make it more useful and fit for the the session's objective. I also know that as is, I could swing it but I'm always a stickler for details and more often than not, I don't like to compromise when it comes to intent, what's true and would be more useful. The only problem is, we had such a crappy week at work and I feel myself struggling and demotivated.
Finally, the proposed organogram for the "change process" has been shared. While my role is not impacted (and I should be relieved), many in our team are. Like four/five of them. And there are only 9 of us in the team.
We have a lot of "projects/tasks" in full swing -- the meta analysis; the MEAL Minimum Standards (finally in it "almost signed off" stage); country request for evaluation; some webinars and collaborations with other MEALies in the confederation. And then the bombshell.
The sides are for a session on humanitarian evaluation next week. I was excited for it and quite happy to share what I know and can draw from a well of experience. Then, again the bombshell. I was still functional the entire week, nonetheless. Attended call meetings, provided inputs on some queries. In fact, we were on our day 2 of planning for what MEAL would look like in the face of the changing humanitarian context. Then many of us got "the call." It is tough to be a manager and having to be "responsible" for and accountable to other souls. How can one provide enough support when you don't have the answers yourself? How can you discuss deadlines and tasks when you know many of your colleagues are still reeling from the news of being likely losing one's job in the immediate future?!
I need to continue working though and finish the tasks, demotivated or not. I have to. So help me, God
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