Untitled

I was on my way to the office when I noticed that the lady who is walking in front of me is holding a baby with a harelip. The bad thing about it is that it was apparent that the cleft has infection. It looked to me like it had been operated on but just got infected.

My heart readily went out to the baby and the lady. I hesitated about moving on to where my office is located. I wanted to stop and talk to the lady, to ask her how she’s feeling about her baby and how she’s holding up. I wanted to know how she is and to learn about her experience. And yet I knew she would have thought me weird if I did just that. She might think I’m crazy or something.

Looking back now, I’m thinking, perhaps not. She might thank me even for the concern I’m showing. She’ll probably even appreciate having another soul to unburden her woes and worries to. But I have no way of knowing that for certain now. Because I did not act on my impulse. I paid more attention to what other people might say, etc, etc. That and on the fact that I was already late for work. And while I was thinking that, I also thought that maybe the lady was also in a hurry for some appointment herself and might just think me a bother…

But really, all I wanted then was to reach out and to tell her that here is someone who somewhat understands what she might be going through… Someone who feels for her… I understand because I’m a mother too…

For several days now, I’m having a lot of insights while I am spending some time with Baby. At one time I noted how happy it makes me feel every time Baby smiles back at me or every time I notices how he delights in every little discovery he has or little thing that catches his fancy.

It dawned on me that perhaps God is like that also – happy upon seeing us happy and that there must be nothing more important to Him than to make us happy. It occurred to me that considering how God feels more than we do, the way I feel for my son must be nothing compared to how He feels for us. So He must truly be ecstatic every time He sees us being happy or even by simply being content with the blessings He is bestowing upon us. This thought sobered me up for a while. It made me resolve to strive to keep that joyful countenance and sense of well-being despite some difficulties I might be undergoing because it will be one way of making my God happy.

Yesterday, Baby was quite in a playful mood when I arrived home from the office. He’s so full of energy these days despite being sick and all. We were both in bed – me resting from having accomplished a lot at work and him playing like a whirlwind, being at one part of the bed to the next.

At one time, he wriggled from my grasp to get off the bed, feet first unto the floor. That wasn’t the first time he did that so I wasn’t surprised anymore. Though, I still feel that brush of pride in noting how intelligent he seemed since he certainly maneuvered his way off the bed very carefully making sure that he goes down feet first and was so careful until his two feet are firmly planted onto the floor. He was on his own the whole time. I was just right where he is, quite ready to catch him should he fall, but quite beyond his reach also.

I tested Baby's sense of confidence. I repeatedly pointed out to him that his Nanay is not holding him at all and that he is on his own. He showed hesitation several times but mirth is more pronounced on his face than any hint of fear. Did I say fear? There was none at all hehehe

I watched in consternation as Baby gleefully held on to the bed sheet (luckily we had on at this time the slip-on type or he would have had the bed unclothed and fell on the floor) as he made his way through the whole full length of the bed. That’s what he did, slowly, he took tentative steps one over the other as he held on so firmly on the bed sheet. There were several times when he would hold out his other hand to me, as if urging me to hold him, assist him. I watched amused every time he would attempt to sit with one hand still holding on to the bed sheet. Obviously, he is fearful about falling but was getting tired already.

What’s really nice about the whole thing was that he was smiling the whole time. Every step he takes successfully, his face would light up as if he was pleased with himself. It seemed to me that he is very delighted with every learning he’s getting. He was definitely learning how to walk on his own. He continued with his antics until he reached his set of drawers that’s just beside the bed that house his shorts and nappies. That was when he showed double the mirth when he started pulling at the drawers. Ah, it was a heavenly moment. Looking back, I certainly feel privileged to have witnessed all that. Truly, parenthood has more of its share of rewards than “sacrifices.” If one would think about it.

When I finally laid him down to bed (against his will since he was still attempting to jump of the bed, this time head first huh!), I thought about how God must delight in us also every time we get to learn the set of lessons He intended for us to learn – this time, much more profound than just learning how to walk. These are lessons that are intended at teaching us to fly – be the best that we can be. These are the lessons that would help us achieve our full potential. I asked Him under my breath then what lesson is it I’m not getting until now? And whether does He still have the patience to wait for me and stand by me ready to catch me when I fall. I’m sure He does because unlike us mere mortals, His patience and love for us know no bounds.

Ah, at least this is one lesson I’ve learned a long time ago. It’s hard not to learn this early on. Specially when I see and feel His love sustaining me everyday even if there are times I do not acknowledge this at all. Thank you Father God, for everything. And now, for the gift of my son and the million delights being a wife and parenthood had bestowed upon me. I’ve already told You this before but I’ll never tire telling You again and again – you have painted such a wonderful tapestry for me – my life – all its hues whether dark or light are designed so perfectly that not only once have I felt so blessed to be alive. And, so loved by You.

Trade-In's

I still feel my calves protesting even when I traded in my pumps for flat sandals when I got home during lunchbreak. For a month now I’ve been having an affair with my newly acquired, strappy, two-and-a-half-inch high heels. Yeah I know. It hardly qualifies for a stiletto. But for someone who rarely wears any high-heeled shoes, continuing the affair for a month straight, is quite a feat already.

I’ve always cherished my legs and my calves. Nope, I don’t spend the whole day on a foot spa or rubbing on lotion or anything. In fact, if truth be told, I rarely put on lotion hehehe I guess eating vegetables has its advantages. Anyway, what I meant with cherishing is that I take real good care of my legs. I try not to put too much strain on them by shunning away from “very high” high-heels or wearing uncomfortable shoes. I had to! Mountaineering is my passion. Not to mention the fact that my life basically revolves around fun runs and races... If I don’t take care of my limbs, then it would be like robbing myself off these pleasures. No way!

Hmm…I don’t know what brought the “affair” on. Maybe I was on one of my whimsical moods. But for now, definitely, I’m calling the affair off indefinitely. I still value my limbs and I don’t see the point of subjecting myself to the aches I’m feeling at the moment. Sure, I still fancy looking real nice if I’m in an office get-up but I think I’ll achieve the same look if I wear one-and-a-half-inch shoes instead of much higher ones.

On a different note, Bolo and I traded our usual jogging-marketing-day for a lazy walk by the beach last Sunday. We woke up quite late due to some marathon we had the night before. Though we still want to go ahead with the marketing, we changed our minds when Mama pointed out Baby could benefit from some early morning sea breeze. His cough and fever had been going on for about a week then despite prescribed medications. And so we put on our rubber shoes and off we went. We had fun especially when we saw Baby’s beaming face as he walked on the beach and saw the waves closing in on us. It was a pity we did not have any camera with us then :)

Last night, I traded in the chance to watch “The Devil Wears Prada,” with “You, Me and Dupree.” I’m glad that I did. Hmm… will write more about it later. My son had to take priority hehehe

Baby's First Ride

Vynette Found Her Frog Prince =)

Finally, Vynette "Baki" (our affectionate monicker for the five of us including Ging, Evie, Cecile and I) tied the knot last September 2, 2006 =)

It was a happy ocassion but sad to say I was but just around towards the latter part of it :( I was asked to report to work to help finish a project proposal that's already in the bag. And since we have a new director in the office and a kind one at that, I did not have the heart to refuse. I did come early though at the office in the hopes that I would finish early and still be able to attend the wedding. In the end, I had to beg off and went to attend the reception -- what's left of it :(

I was supposed to have shared a few words for Vynette and Dino during the reception and for a month I have thought about what I'm going to say. Several things came to mind but in the end I settled with what my heart wanted to say. I wanted to tell her that I am happy for her. That having growing up with her (despited the distance later on) I have witnessed how she searched for that "perfect" relationship. Perfect in the sense that it'll be one where she will be afforded the same love and respect she will be giving. There had been close calls but it was never really "it." And now she has Dino by her side. I think whatever they have right now is worth all the wait. I think she had just found her Frog Prince, someone who could give her the love that she truly deserves. I'm so happy for you Baki. And I'm truly wishing for your happiness. May the family that you and Dino will be building may constitute everything that you wish and hope for to make up for all that u "missed" while growing up :) I'm praying for nothing less for you and for all of God's Blessings. Be happy and I love you:)

Ah... the bride and and pretty ones hehe and Evelyn's cute little Sean.

Marketing Day

I stood in the middle of the market and drank in the smells, the sights and the energy of the place. I could feel the whole place throbbing with a life of its own. Most of them there were individuals trying to make a living – some in a traditional, honest way, and for some, maybe in not so honest way (Bolo and I got ripped off last week. We paid for a kilo’s worth of fish only to find out we were given less than what we paid for.). For a moment I wondered what kind of lives do the people there have and live. What were the issues that they have to contend with everyday? What were their dramas? What were their stories? If I were to sit with them and exchange experiences, what would they tell me?

Bolo and I must have stood up somewhat in the crowd of people there because not only once have I felt and seen the stares being thrown our way. Maybe as I wondered about their lives, they were also probably wondering about our own. We probably looked fresh to them, naïve. Sure enough, Bolo and I often have to ask what kind of fish they are selling and how best to cook them. I knew we reeked of youth - being a young couple that we are. I wondered if we reminded them of how their marriages used to be – fresh and new; exciting and so full of expectations. Most of the people there looked resigned, the lines of acquiescence etched all over their faces. It’s as if they felt they have already seen all there is in life and is just living day by day as it comes to them. There was no element of fire in their eyes, no excitement and openness as to what else life may have for them around the corner… As I wished on them the fire that still lit my spirit, I wondered if some of them we’re also thinking that Bolo and I were fools who believe life is one exciting ride and is in for a big surprise.

Ah but these are grim thoughts. While the above observations may be true for some, there were also those who eagerly served us. Every time Bolo and I would ask if what we’re buying would be fine for a few months old baby, or for a lactating Mom, we would receive tips and suggestions and advice of all sorts. And all of them were being given sincerely, and whole-heartedly. As we made our way from the maze of stalls I felt myself energized somewhat, pensive and amazed at the amount of reflection I’m having from just being in the midst of all of that.

When Bolo and I found ourselves in the middle of the meat section, I grew dizzy and nauseated from the smells and the energy of the place. I may have only imagined it but the whole section reeked of decay to me. I knew the same could be said of the fish section but it was different there somewhat. Maybe because fish, even tuna, looked minute compared to the carcasses being butchered left and right at the meat section. Bolo pointed out to me at one time how “threatening” it is to be loitering around there seeing vendors yielding big carving knives and hooks.

Sundays have become a marketing day for Bolo and I. For two Sundays now, we have awoken up early to jog our way to the market and buy food stuff for the house. We lingered the most at the vegetable and fruit section. Ah and at the ukay-ukay too but rarely do we find anything worth buying there. Last Sunday, we had to walk back home since Bolo spent our last penny on some crabs after he found out I’ve been wanting some.

All in all it was a novel experience for me, something I could do again and again without tiring because I know it’s going to be a different experience every time. Life, in fact is like that. In truth, no every day is really the same. There may be times when life may prove to be one routine on top of the other – doing the same things all over again, everyday. But if one would really stop and reflect on it, life is one “heaven” of a ride. There are magical-moments, aha-moments, lurking in some corner or the other if only one knows where to look. No, it’s not even that. It’s the attitude really. If one expects life to be exciting and full of promise then that is the kind of life that he’ll find. If one looks at it differently, and see only the drudgery of it, then that's what he had to live with.

“To flit and fly and explore life’s many possibilities.” I remember writing that part in the personal credo I wrote perhaps four years ago. I still adhere to that until now even when life have already dished me quite a few unpleasant experiences. My life is not without its piece of bitter pill that I have to swallow on some days. Bolo and I, in fact are trying to work out some knot in our relationship at the moment – a very stubborn one at that. We have history and years of conditioning as an enemy. But we face it everyday. Work at it everyday. Everyday I’m learning more about what commitment really means. And there are times I don’t want to learn about its meaning at all hehehe But I stick around, albeit as an unwilling student at times because I know, it the end,the lesson I'll be learning would weigh much, much more than the drudgery I'm feeling.

Permanence

Ah my heart is currently breaking into pieces. I just got off the phone. Talked to Mama who happens to be at home visiting baby before she goes to work. I asked her if she found baby crying when she arrived because it is the first time that I left him alone with the new yaya. She told me he was not crying but that he looked really, really sad and would not even go near her.

The picture broke my heart. I could see it in my mind so clearly because while I was dressing up and putting on shoes I already saw Baby looking at me so longingly. He wasn’t crying at all, begging to be picked up like he used to do the past few days that the new yaya is around

Argjh, it’s really a physical pain, I want to reach out so much to Baby, comfort him, assure him that his Nanay would always be there for him, that I would not forsake him…

I find it ironic that Baby had to learn the lesson of “impermanence” from strangers. Bolo and I have always been adamant about handling with care baby’s emotional needs. When he was merely an infant, we would drop everything that we’re doing to readily pick him up when he’s crying just so he would feel secure. We spent a good deal of money when I’m on a travel so that he could tag along and not be separated from me. And then now, just when he had attached himself to his first yaya, she left him. Came two new ones (since they’re supposed to be packaged deal, it’s a long story) whom he did not take to at all. He would cry until I, his tatay or lola would get him. So even with the yaya’s around, Bolo and I, including Mama, still took turn being absent from work so that he could have some semblance of security until he gets used to his yaya. And now, they would leave again on Sunday for a job in a Carenderia which they prefer over working at home. Maybe they really don’t have that aptitude for babies and maybe that is also why Baby does not like them at all because he sensed that. Ah, my poor Baby.

I really hate the fact that it had to take strangers to do this to him. I’m contemplating about resigning from work to be with Baby. I just hope I have enough “sidelines” like documentation work to help tide over the expenses we have at home. I can’t have Bolo working on his own. And I don’t think we could really afford it either if it would only be him. Arrggh…I’m going home in a little while.

Single Father

Last night, Baby Bullets, our two new housemates - Jenny and Sarah (the former one left us already), Baby Janine and I are all set to go to SM to buy some groceries. I also wanted to show Jenny and Sarah around as it is their first time in Davao. So I was practically aiming to hit two birds with one stone. Make that three birds, since I've also been wanting to spend some quality time with Janin also who is proving to be more of a nuisance lately. I'm suspecting she's harboring some jealousy towards Baby Bullets. It's understandable really since she used to be the apple of everyone's eyes. Well, she actually still is. It's just that there are two of them now and Baby Bullets being just a baby sure do need most of the attention.

Anyway, I had been waiting for Bolo to return my text, informing him of my intention to go to SM. I wanted him to meet us there. When I got no reply, I tried calling him but his phone was off. Imagine my dismay. I did not want to disappoint Jeni and Sarah and Janine. But I also could not risk having a hungry Bolo, arriving from work and finding the whole house dark and empty. And so with a heavy heart I told them that we would have to go some other time.

It turned out that Bolo was in fact in SM. I looked in consternation at the SM plastic bag he had with him when he finally got home. He bought Baby's first toothbrush and a big pack of baby wipes since Baby's supply is nearly gone. Imagine my dismay.

Anyway, he was already asleep when it dawned on me how cute my hubby really is. Imagine, he thought of buying Baby a toothbrush and some baby wipes. I've been telling him I wanted to buy Baby one but I certainly did not tell him to buy it himself. I wondered if he was the sole male customer at the Baby section of SM last night. Told him about it this morning. I asked him if he indeed was the sole male customer there, sans the wife of course, buying baby stuff. Most do come in pairs. He told me that in fact he was. He told me that when the salesgirls there remarked about it to him, he made up a story that he is a single father, his wife having left himto work abroad! Bah! I teased back he was probably hitting on some of the girls there. I got a frown in response so I dropped the subject hehehe Single father indeed! :p

Thank you B, for being so mindful of our little one. Hmm... how come you did not get me anything huh? :p Ah yeah, you handed to me all of your salary hehe.

WAMOC emerges victor over the other all-female teams during TNF Race

(Of Self-fulfilment, Adjustment, Love and Commitment)

Err… actually, make that other “team” as there were actually just two all-female team during the race hehehe I could no longer remember who got heard of the race first or who urges whom. All I remember is that one day Renee, Bambie and I all agreed to convene at the football field over at Agro for a night run. We wanted to prepare for the TNF race.

It was exactly a week and a day before the actual race. It could hardly amount to some form of “preparation.” Midway before the race, I was already having some doubts. I mean, who am I kidding? We actually had just.. three days?.. of actual running. And in those three instances, the whole team jogged together just once. It was always just Renee and I since Bambie is either on duty or is resting before her next shift is due. And of course I had to consider the fact that my baby is still way before being a year old. And I had been pregnant only recently, I don’t know the extent with which my body can take any form of physical stress at this stage. Strictly speaking, I still am at the recovery stage. My body is just about getting back to its normal state – after going through the “onslaught” of pregnancy and giving birth. Hehehe how I so love to dramatize things :) By the looks of it, I am recovering along fine. But come to think of it, a race is still a race. As a friend pointed out – I could suffer from a relapse. Bolo’s been discouraging me too especially when he found out the race would fall on a Saturday. He still had work then. It meant he won’t be able to watch over us for the entire duration of the race just like what he and Stephen did during a previous race.

Anyway, it took Renee’s (whom AMOC guys fondly calls “bossing” by the way)…ehem… “stern” inquiry for me to decide that I’m pushing through with the race. What the heck, the guys don’t call Renee “bossing” for no reason at all :) So on August 19, 2006 we raced along with the other 18 teams who participated in the activity.

A few days before the actual race, a briefing was held. That’s when Renee and I found out that there were only two (2) all-women teams. Majority of the teams were all-male. And they were not just male-male. They were really MALE with all the brawn and the browns. They had “real” muscles to speak of and their skin speaks of the number of hours they must have spent under the sun doing their preparation for the race or joining some other races. Some of the faces there were not exactly strangers. They were co-competitors in previous races, 5k runs, kayak race. Some were good friends from mountaineering.

The night before the actual race, the WAMOC team were still trying to complete our uniform for the race. I had to borrow Joan’s AMOC shirt since I no longer could find mine. Bolo had to secure my helmet and bag. Renee and Bambie also had to look for their own helmets. We didn’t even have a chance to meet at all. Each was busy with our respective personal concerns. We were like, just texting each other and agreeing to meet and see each other a few moments before the race officially starts. Huh!

It was good that Sharon – who by the way is about 6 months pregnant – and Jay was able to lend us support. Sharon joked about her “baby” having to wake up real early too so she could drive our official “photographer” (Jay) around. But of course she was more there to lend us support than anything. For the early part of the race, Bolo was able to join us too since the race started early. It bought him some time before he was due for work. He was able to lend us moral support up until the fourth control point (CP). Well, he even scolded me at the first CP when he found me there sans Renee and Bambie who had yet to join me. Renee had trouble going over a fence just before reaching the CP.


CP 1: Stumbling on fetters
Welcome to Checkpoint 1. Your next checkpoint will be at the entrance gate of Palma Gil Elementary School along Quirino Ave. You have to go there ON FOOT with the Prisoners cuffs chained on all three members. You can only detach these cuffs once you have reached the next checkpoint. Good luck and have a nice walk.





CP 2: Welcome to Checkpoint 2. Your next destination is to go near the gate of Thomson Christian School of Davao along Lopez Jaena St., and find your next checkpoint there. However, in proceeding so, you have to push the cart all the way to the next checkpoint with at least one team member riding the cart. You have to follow traffic rules in navigating the streets. Good Luck and have a nice pushing.










CP 3: Welcome to Checkpoint 3. Your team must continue this task of cart pushing all the way to the next checkpoint which is located near the gate of the University of Immaculate Concepcion at Bankerohan Public Market. Good luck!

This part sure did sucks! Hehe Cart pushing with one of us onboard it is no joke, believe me. When we reached Thompson I eyed its surroundings suspiciously. I could not see any carts around. It’s either we’re the first team there (we were so wise we took a short cut) or that we are to continue with the cart pushing. I almost groaned out load when I read the task indicated in the paper strip given to us. It was bad enough that we will have to continue pushing the cart, it was more difficult so if we have to do it at an uphill. UIC is quite a distance from Thompson and most of the way there is on an uphill. Imagine that with a load on. The word, “RELAPSE” sure did crop in my mind not just a few times at this point. Renee and I had been doing the pushing while Bambie sat on the cart. When it was suggested that it was my turn to ride – Renee simply would not do – I thanked my Angels for it. But was soon less thankful afterwards. It was so stressful having to sit there while you think about your poor teammates having to carry your weight. I tried meditating at one point, hoping by some miracle I could levitate to lessen the load. Yeah right! =)

CP 4: Welcome to Checkpoint 4. Leave your cart here and then proceed to the Ferry Boat Terminal near Grand Men Seng Hotel where you will find your next checkpoint. You can proceed by running. Good luck.

We have to run huh? On my way to CP 5 I sort of drifted off and noted how my body is taking it all in. I reflected on how great indeed it is to be a woman. Imagine, our body is engineered such that we are able to “bear” life – nurture it within us from being a simple zygote into a complex, tiny human being who is so full of promise and possibilities. Come to think of it, when a woman is pregnant, she is not just nurturing a human being but a future – the potentialities of which are infinite. Imagine such “power.” Men indeed are instrumental to our being able to conceive and yet, we are the one “bearing” it, nurturing it in order for it to completely develop. And on top of that, being able to participate in other physical pursuits… I’d say, females are in no way the lesser sex.

CP 5: Welcome to Checkpoint 5. You have to cross the river in a ferry boat and proceed to Agro football field along Quimpo Boulevard where you will find your next check point. You can either run or ride after crossing the river.










CP 6: Welcome to Checkpoint 6.

It was a pleasant surprise to see a familiar face manning the sixth CP. It was no other than Joan – fellow WAMOC – whom we found at the post. She pointed out that her shirt fitted me just fine since I had previously voiced out a concern that it might not fit given the extra “baby” fats I’ve gained.

The task in this CP required us to come up with a slingshot which we will have to use in hitting bottles lined up along the river dike. Bambie and I both took a shot at it. I took aim, stretched the rubber and whispered a prayer. I invoked God to be my wings, which more appropriately should have been the pebble’s wing as it would do the flying and not me. Nonetheless, God must have listened more to my intention than to what I had uttered since I downed the target at one try. Jay, and all of us all yelped triumphantly and proceeded with the race. The next control point was somewhere at the back of SM which is quite at a distance from where we are. But having hit the target at first try sure did lift our spirits.

CP 7: Welcome to Checkpoint 7. Your cp task is to be able to fly a paper plane from a certain distance that will pass through a region specified by the CP marshal. After completing the task, you can proceed to the fruit stand outside Magsaysay Park either by riding or running. You are going to find a vendor named, Neneng who will give you the next due of the race.

This may sound easy but believe me, it took us quite a while to let the plane drift to where it’s supposed to go. At one point I asked the marshal if it’s okay if I insert a pebble inside the plane to which he smilingly told me I had to find other ways :) Well, it’s ingenuity isn’t it? What I thought of? Hehehe And I did ask permission as I had no intention of cheating.

Since SM is quite a long, long way from Magsaysay, we decided to surrender our second pass and chose to ride our way there after we completed the task. We used our first pass over at the fourth CP.

CP 8: Welcome to Checkpoint 8. You must eat the durian fruit given to you by the vendor before you can proceed to the next checkpoint station. The next checkpoint is located near the gate of San Pedro College along De Guzman St. You can proceed either by running or riding.

Ah, durian eating was no task hehe It was actually a reward :) Sharon who looked out from the window of her car shouted at the marshal if she could eat in lieu of Bambie who does not quite get “nose-to-nose” with durian. The durian given us sure did taste heavenly. It was a pity we had to gobble it up instead of just simply savoring it. It was really delicious. If I remember it right, it was of the native variety. One that was heavenly sweet, tasty and fleshy.


CP 9: Welcome to Checkpoint 9. Before you can leave this checkpoint, you are to assemble your team flag and carry it with you all the way to the finish line. Your next checkpoint is at the entrance gate of the Davao Medical School Foundation. You can proceed there either by running or riding.
We thought there would still be more difficult tasks up ahead and so we held on to our third and last pass and decided to run all the way to the next CP. If a rappelling figures in one of the tasks ahead, a pass could be useful then. Especially when several teams could be queuing for it. It could buy us time, not to mention buy us salvation in reference to my fear of heights hehe But surprisingly, I had come prepared for the race. I knew rappelling would not faze me then should the race require me to do so.

CP 10: Welcome to Checkpoint 10.

Ah, this point proved quite a drag. Who would have thought it is difficult to shoot a bottle crown inside a trash bin located a few paces from where we’re standing. It sure did take me a while before I managed to shoot one. When we did, off we went to the next CP which was at San Pedro Memorial Park. Again, we opted to save our pass here and decided to run all the way there.

We were rounding our first corner when Manong Rudy and Dax, who organized the whole thing overtook us and took pictures of us. It was fun knowing a newspaper guy was taking our pictures :) For a moment, we subjected ourselves to Mang Rudy’s “posing instructions.”

CP 11: Welcome to Checkpoint 11. You can proceed immediately near the gate of Davao Doctors College along Gen. Malvar St. either by running or riding.

Again, we held on to our pass. Only to arrive at CP 11 and find out we were down to our last CP. And we are prohibited to use our pass as we are instructed to run all the way there. There was no rappelling or any other more challenging task. It was a beginner’s race alright but still, not for the weak-kneed as the distances between CP’s is still quite something to contend with.


CP 12: Welcome to Checkpoint 12. Run and hail your team flag towards the finish line located at Holiday Spa along F. Torres St. You are no longer allowed to ride.

When we reached the last CP, we were still required to compose the jigsaw puzzle that was made up of all the “keys” we gathered from each CP as we completed each task. Our clock did not stop running until we completed the puzzle.

All in all we clocked in a little more than 3 hours which was not exactly bad. Still we ranked 11th from all the 18 teams. When the later teams composed of all male or two-male-one-female member arrived one by one at the finish line to complete their puzzle, Patrick who was already able to join us then consoled us by saying in mock awe how we proved to be stronger than they are hehehe The second all-female team arrived last and won the “turtle of race” award.

But we did not need any consoling. It was a fun race. And we sure did have lots of fun. We knew there was no way we could rank among the top three by just looking at the rest of the teams. The top rank, by the way, was bagged by an all-male-team (all top 10 were all-male teams?) composed of runners and tri-athletes. They clocked in 1 hour and 30 minutes. How they did that, we can’t quite figure it out :) They sure was fast! Majority of the CPs were situated at some distance from each other. All those running about sure must have helped them a great deal.

Ah, as for me and my “competing” attitude, it was a first for me to have joined a race just for the heck of it and it proved to be totally enjoyable. First, gone was the pressure that the thought of winning could weigh down on you. It made me “savored” the race more, really experiencing each and every point of it in its totality as there was no pressure to distract me. It sure was fun and I’m truly grateful that I came out of it physically well and spiritually lifted. My sense of accomplishment then was definitely at a high. To have done all that in such a short time from the time I was pregnant and have given birth and all that. It amused me to think that only a few months back I had mused about my being “inactive” and totally grounded. At that time, being tied down with the responsibilities of motherhood and wifehood, I was not able to partake of my usual physical pursuits. Apparently, I’m now back in action hehehe And am truly enjoying it and am truly grateful for it.

Bolo's joining us during the lunch treat and awarding ceremony completed the experience for me. He texted Renee whether his “bb” is still with them. I was munching on my third slice of watermelon when she got his text. I was feasting on fruits then as the only viand I could eat was the onion rings – the sole “vegetarian” dish in an array of all-meat dishes. Ah well, the fruit salad – the homemade kind made up of cubed mango, watermelon, banana, papaya, etc swimming in milk concoction – sure made it up for me. And I was really more thirsty than hungry at that time.

When our team got to receive our finishers’ certificates and other tokens, Bolo was already sitting with the rest of the Fil-Chi group waiting for me to finish so he could drive me home. Our little one, after all, is waiting. He laughed along with the crowd when Dax jokingly slid next to me during the photo op and loudly asked the group if Bolo would mind.

On our way home, he engaged me in a hug while he was driving, taking his eyes momentarily off the road. I knew that without his having to express it, he knew how the experience had made me happy and self-fulfilled and that he was happy for me too. The spell was broken only when he remarked I smelt of sun and sweat! Huh! But I knew that he loved me still anyway, sweat and all. In the best way he knew how.

Ah B, just the fact that you’re happy in knowing that I’m happy is enough to make me feel really fulfilled – in more ways than participating in a race or finishing a winning proposal at work could make me feel. It hits a cord somewhere in my heartstrings every time I acknowledge that you genuinely wish for my happiness and that you are willing to support me in whatever I get myself into, just so I could achieve that. We might be having some issues lately, given the ghosts from your past and my inability to address it unselfishly – but there are moments like this that proved to be like a rainbow after a heavy storm. I know deep down, we love each other genuinely. There’s no doubt about that. We just have certain issues – from your childhood past and maybe from mine too – that we need to work out together so we could both emerge from them grown and better persons. Let’s pray for clarity of thought and the cleanest of intentions. May we both clearly remember and uphold what must be our “sacred contract” for each other. May – as it had always proved to be – our love for each other prevail time and again. I love you.

Happy Anniversary Papa

Thanks to the Kadayawan Celebration and we had Friday off last week. It's a good thing since it was also Papa's 4th Death Anniversary. Mama and I really intended to take a leave that day since as usual we will have dinner at his resting place in Buhangin Memorial. And we did.

We were joined by family and friends. Candy was kind enough to have joined us bringing along her two little princesses -- China and Asia. Ma'am Sonia and daughter-in-law, Lyn was also with us. Jun and Lisa and their cute daughter who is also my inaanak also came. They had always been a fixture during Papa's anniversaries and during All Soul's Day. Vynette and very-soon-to-be-hubby was there too. Truly appreciated their presence. (Thanks Baki).

Four years... it's been that long Papa and yet there are still times when I would find myself crying to sleep as I remember you. There are nights when the longing for you is intense... Even during the day when thoughts of you would suddenly creep at me... You have gone at a time we hardly expect at all... At 52, you were too young to have gone ahead... But I guess I was guilty -just as every child must be - of thinking that parents are going to live forever... Because our need for them also spells forever...


The Kids


the "isip-kids" and bb bullets



I still remember you Papa and sometimes they are not without regrets... Regret that ours was not a family where emotions are openly expressed. Because if we are, I could have told you countless of times... that I love you.

Astrology's Take on our Partnership

Got this e-mail for Bolo, from Astrology.com in my mailbox. It said something like "helping" him find out whether his compatible with his significant other. Since he's not around as of the moment [and I read his mail huh? heheh with blessing naman po :)] and out of curiosity, I took the test for him hehe.

I really find it funny how horoscopes and astrology still interests me considering my "renewed" faith. I really shouldn't be. But since little, I had always been facinated with astrology. It's one of my favorite topics in science while in elementary. But this facination does not mean though that I keep everything to heart and that I put much faith into it than in my relationship with God.

Back to the test, its result really had me amused. Though I'm no t taking it seriously at all, I did acknowledge that the reading did have some grain of truth in it. Or perhaps, that's what I wanted to believe hahaha. Especially when the reading sounded real good. I wonder if I'd say the same thing if there was anything negative about it.

-------- Tata's Sun Conjunct Bolo Mars: You inspire each other to be very active in both work and play, and to accomplish a great deal. You enjoy challenging each other and perhaps enjoy competing with each other in games. The only negative tendency is to possibly develop a rivalry with each other; this is especially possible if Bolo comes on too forcefully, directly and aggressively, hurting Tata's feelings or pride. Bolo's Sun Trine Tata's Neptune: The two of you have a strong intuitive understanding of each other, and you inspire each other's imagination, idealism, and aspirations. You help each other to become clearer about your ideals and religious inclinations, and together you develop a greater sense of meaning and purpose in your lives. You help each other to look beyond the daily problems and issues of your personal lives and focus more on altruistic goals and broader issues. Tata's Sun Sextile Bolo's Moon: You two are the best of friends! You understand and appreciate each other, and are able to work together very harmoniously. No relationship is free of difficulty and stress, and this astrological influence does not nullify other stressful influences described elsewhere in this report, but it does add a harmonious quality to your relationship that helps you over the rough spots. Tata's Sun Sextile Bolo's Venus: Yours is a congenial and enjoyable relationship, for you both appreciate and like one another. You also share a similarity in tastes and enjoyment of leisure activities and pleasures.

------

You inspire each other to be very active in both work and play, and to accomplish a great deal. You enjoy challenging each other and perhaps enjoy competing with each other in games. The only negative tendency is to possibly develop a rivalry with each other....

I'm thinking whether there was really an instance wherein Bolo and I had been a rival to each other... we do enjoy challenging each other and tend to be competitive with each other at play (even when we are just clowning around!) but we do it more for fun than to compete with one another. If anything, our sense of "teamship" is always prevalent. I am remembering what happened this morning on our way to work. We are outsmarting each other even in saying "ingat" to each other. It's like we were competing who would be more thoughtful of each other. Pretty weird really but fun and well, heartwarming, now that I think about it.

You two are the best of friends! You understand and appreciate each other, and are able to work together very harmoniously. No relationship is free of difficulty and stress, and this astrological influence does not nullify other stressful influences described elsewhere in this report, but it does add a harmonious quality to your relationship that helps you over the rough spots.

I like this part hehe Bolo and I ended have some "stressful" moments. I guess I've already said this before - that our argument could turn ugly at times. But there's just something about us that makes us reach out to each other again when all the fire have diminished. And we do work fine together... hmm.. in cooking that is... and on other things. Keeping the bedroom real spic and span is an entirely different matter, I'm afraid. Bolo is more of the "throw-everything-everywhere" around the house and I'm strict about keeping things tidy especially in the bedroom where I hide to relax and rest... so we're hardly "teammates" when it comes to this. Except on those very rare ocassions when he'd tidy up his bed before taking his shower.

But we too are indeed bestfriends to each other... as best as we can be to each other that is. Jen has always been and will always be my best friend. I'm sure Bolo regard some friend of his as his best bud as well. But there's just some connection between us that assures us that even if we could be the worst critique to the other, we could also be each other's greatest fan. Well, with Baby Bullets in the picture, make that 2nd greatest fan. For definitely, we're both great fans of this little one who happen to fall on our lap one fateful day :)

Yes! 2

The title to this entry is appropriate I think, considering what I wanted to write in here is sort of an update to the previous blog entry hehe. First, on that proposal we slaved over last week? We had a meeting with the client yesterday. Wink, wink it means we are among those being considered for the project. Then at the end of the meeting, there was no more doubt about it hehe We celebrated by buying ourselves some banana cue right outside of the building hehe Imagine that. I don't know what is it about enthusiastically munching on banana cue while dressed on business attire that excited me. I guess the excitement was really more on the results of the negotiation than any other.

As for that race? hehehe Well, apparently, Renee has this "command" about her that while I was entertaining the thought of not pushing through with it, just one reprimand from her whether I'm still interested or not had me readily said that I still am hehehe. So off we went to TNF store over at SM last Sunday to have ourselves registered under the WAMOC byline. Oh well, WAMOC sure still reigns hehe I wonder what the guys would think about it though :)

Hmm... actually, I'm having some misgivings about the race. After all, I'm hardly prepared for it after a year of being inactive. Well, come to think of it, who says I've been inactive? Try juggling being a Mom, wife and development worker all at once for an entire year and tell me it's being inactive :p

But yeah, it's not the same thing as jogging and getting fit and all that which are all necessary ingredients to joining a race. Bolo is urging me to back out himself. He wouldn't be with me that day since he had to work. And, he doesn't feel right about letting us race on our own. Make that, espcially "moi" who have had a lot to contend with. Yesterday, from jogging, we had to pass by the length of Bolton bridge to get to the bamboo fares where Renee is trying to buy/rent some torches for their church anniversary today (It's a long and entirely different story). Anyway, I couldn't help but hold on to Bolo while we're passing through the whole length of it. The waters below sure had me weak in the knees hehehe And he reprimanded me for it, saying I had more coming my way from the race on Saturday. Haaay, whatever. I'm not in for the win anyway. I'm just joining for fun and as Bambie would probably have it, "have a chance to show off our TNF stuff," yeah right! As if it matters anyway :) Ah, it'll be fun I'm sure. I just pray that I will emerge from it whole, well, with high spirits and energized :) Placing even just third would definitely be an added bonus! So help me Father God! :)

Yes!

Actually, as of the moment, I don't feel as ecstatic as that. I'm feeling real low. All that I wanted to do is to crawl right into my bed, throw the covers over myself and go to sleep. Hardly had any sleep for two nights in a row. The previous night, I was kept awake by Baby who refused to sleep at all. Something must have been bothering him, could be an upset tummy or aching gums (yep! his already teething! He now boasts of two lower, front teeth :)). Last night, I slaved over a proposal that was due today. I ended up sleeping at 3:00 a.m. this morning. I woke up at around 6 a.m., plugged on the computer and started right where I left off. Then, I got ready to go to the office. Once at the office, I faced the computer again and started piecing together my work and that of Kuya Arnel into one "neat" project proposal. And then having done with that one, we worked again on another. Huh! Hehehe So, it's actually a yes! we're finally done. And yes! we were able to beat the deadline and finished the proposals on time.

But last night's yes! was definitely an ecstatic one. First, it was a yes! that Renee, Bambie and I are contemplating about joining a TNF race next week. Second, I was ecstatic about being able to do my nightly runs again after months and months of being almost sedentary. From the time I've found out I was pregnant till I finally had Baby and gotten back to work, I probably was just able to exercise for like, twice. Yep, just for two instances. Work and familial obligations somewhat got in the way. And to think I had been real active for the past five years(?) before that. So to have done a few rounds last night, feeling my sweat running down my face, back and body sure felt great. It was almost a thrill finding my pace again. It certainly felt good to feel the muscles in my leg moving at its familiar rythm once again...

The run last night truly did me a lot of good. When Bolo showed up and played around with me, it sure made the night for me. Well, exercising sure did boost my energy and the "happy" hormones sure did come just as Tina Juan said they would after a good exercise. I felt light and happy and Bolo must have felt it too because he was very playful with me. First he surprised me by presenting me with an Ukay find he had that afternoon -- a red,roxy board shorts. And he started clowning around with me soon after that. It also felt good to be with our friends again. I was not able to go out much the past months. Well, being a Mom and a wife at that... So last night was definitely a treat...

So yes, I am grateful for moments such as last night. I am grateful that I am able to accomplish the things I did today. I am grateful for every little chance I get to do the things I love to do and to be with the company of some, good friends. This particular line of thought brings to mind the personal credo I wrote a few years back. One particular line there said something like, "to wake up every morning with eagerness in my heart to face the new and exciting experiences that awaits me. to be filled with gratitude for the many blessings I have enjoyed and for the many gifts that I have yet to receive as I go through the day..." I still strive to always feel that way for the everyday that comes my way. I pray that such disposition would always stay with me, for life indeed is truly beautiful even if at times it may not seem so...

"Good" Morning :)

It is a GOOD morning, a good day. Mornings these days meant being awakened by Baby Bullets’ muttering and ramblings hehe It’s cute really, he’s like our alarm clock in the morning :) Most of the time he would be making all these noise while looking at his hands, as if talking with himself. Sometimes, he would turn to me and poke me, as if urging me to wake up. Most of the time, I would awaken to his frantic search of that which gives him nourishment hehe In that case I would turn to my side and happily oblige :)

This morning he woke up quite early. There still wasn’t any light outside. He was kind of edgy and even crying a bit. I immediate thought he was hungry and urged him to nurse but he refused. It dawned on me that he’s probably being bothered by his gums again. There was an instance when he was crying at 12 midnight and refused to feed. I did not know what was wrong with him… Then it just came to me that it’s probably his gums and so I massaged it. He immediately settled down after that. I thought that amazing, how I knew instinctively. Mother’s instinct huh? :)

It was still early but having awakened already, I had trouble going back to sleep. So I just played with Baby. A little later I woke Bee up and urged him to join us. I was the more playful with Baby than Bolo is. Probably because like me, Bolo never really is a morning person. But he did happily clown around with Baby. But he teases Baby more than actually play with him. So Baby’s more like frustrated with him than happy :p But we sure had fun this morning, just the three of us. At one point Bolo and I looked at each other and wished together, under our breaths, that we did not have to work that morning.

Our mornings are like that these days. Except when Bolo is in a hurry for work or when I am, which is not that often. But I particularly liked this morning because Bolo and I cooked together. When Yaya had to buy something, Bee took hold of Baby and told him he’s cooking along with us. To me that was a pretty intimate moment – the three of us doing something together. Sometimes I could almost not wait for baby to grow up so we could start doing things together. Everything was a blur after that, having to rush to work and all but the afterglow of that moment pretty much stayed with me the whole day. I remembered muttering to myself as I was on my way to work this morning how inspired I felt. Bolo must have felt the same thing because he showed up in the office this afternoon only to urge me to accompany him. He was going to have his vehicle gassed at a nearby gas station. It was a poor excuse really but I liked the fact that he wanted to be with me. He’s right, we are still sweet to each other…

I chided him last night that he’s probably having some girlfriends on the side. It was a joke really, we were talking about one of his “friends” who is having an affair (yup, really bad!) and I teased that he might follow suit. He told me he doesn’t see any need to. He pointed out we have a good relationship and that we are still sweet to each other. Indeed we are. It’s because I have such a sweet husband too… But still I’m praying, that each of us be spared from any form of temptation. For all the creases and conflict in our relationship, we still have a good thing going… And I pray that with God’s help we will keep it that way.

Bb Bullets' First Costume Party

Baby Bullets attended his first ever costume party last Saturday, August 5. It was my inaanak, Raine's birthday. She's the daughter of Ryan, who is a common friend of Jeni and I. A good friend at that.

Long before the actual day, I was already excited for Baby Bullets. The only thing holding out my excitement was the fact that I don't have a costume for him yet, up to the last minute hehe The invitation specified that the kids are to come in their "Royal Costume." To me, that meant, Baby would have to come as a king or a prince. And in my mind I'm picturing - tights, colorful top, a cape and a crown. Bolo completed the picture by suggesting "dwarf-like" shoes hehehe I certainly have no idea where to look for these things. Good thing Jeni told me she had a spare "Chinese" costume. She suggested that Baby and Towi attend the party as Chinese royalties hahaha and they did. Baby was the sole Little Chinese Emperor there. (Although he sure looked more like a Shaolin kid than anything! haha) A modern version that is because he completed the get up with his Nike shoes hehe. The other guy kids there wore a cape over their slacks and shirt... The mother in me can't help to think that Baby was the cutest baby boy there haha One with the best personality too hehehe He sure did smile often (again) while at the party, charming his Tita Jen to the max hehe Good thing because it made her carry him most of the time hehe


My little Chinese Emperor cum Shaolin Kid hehe with Tita Jen


Bb Bullets: Don't touch me by the armpit Nanay. I'm ticklish! :)



Bb Bullets: Ay, ice cream! I want some!

This particular picture and the one below really broke my heart when I finally uploaded them to my computer. It was only then that I realized that Baby had been wanting to have a taste of the ice cream. And I did not notice it at all at that time. I do remember thinking at the party whether it's wise to feed Baby some. But it being as it is and being sweet, I had had my doubts. I did allow him a few licks of mine but that was way, way at the latter part of the party and these shots were taken a few minutes after we've arrived at the party. Aww, poor Baby Bullets. Nanay was so insensitive huh?

Bolo and I are quite careful as to what to feed Baby. Especially when we read how his feeding now could influence his eating habits the rest of his life. So, his food are particularly unsalted, unsweetened... hehe you get the picture. As for feeding him anything sweet, candies are a no-no. Although he already had a taste of his first lollipop when we were in Legazpi. Juliet of the PLSD Project gave him some and we let him play with it for a while before whisking it away from him hehehe We read somewhere that if we feed him too much sweet now, his tastebuds would develop along that line so he would grow up having preference for anything sweet. Bolo and I are careful about keeping everything in balance though. We can't have Baby feeling deprived and frustrated.



Bb Bullets: Hey Ate Towi, I want some too!


Bb Bullets: Am I not suppose to pick some cards too?


Bb bullets: Tatay, get me up! Huhuhuh


Bb Bullets: Tatay, can you make me a dog out of this balloon?


Bb Bullets: Don't Nanay! The rubber is doing wonders to my aching gums! Huhuhu


Family Picture with Ate Towi :)