Life Goes On

Even when one is right smack in the middle of so much pain, life goes on. As if to prove this, the weekend following the internment of my brother, Bolo and I participated in a local adventure race we have previously registered to.

Bolo and I at some point were in dilemma as to whether we are going to push through with it or not. We were careful about hurting the elderlies in the family about being "happy" when everyone else was in grief. A part of me however wants to go ahead with it. I felt like by joining, by participating in a physical activity, I am doing my brother a favor... Like I was in a way, doing things he should be doing at his age...

Yesterday, Baby and I joined in a local fun run too. It was Baby's first. We've been waiting for it for the longest time. And so it finally happened...

So indeed life goes on. Even when you lose love ones in death, life goes on. Even if one is beset with so much grief, life goes on...

I surfed the net earlier for Nino's "sickness," his cause of death. I think I was trying to come to terms with what happened. I was and still trying to understand everything... I see it as my way of coping... I'm trying to come to terms with it cerebrally... So that somehow, the "knowing" could ease the pain I'm feeling in my soul... I miss him everyday...