On Respect and Sensibilities (Being Culturally Sensitive)

Are Muslims considered IP’s?” The moment the resource person voiced that out in front of purely Muslim participants, an atmosphere of “discomfort” permeated the air. I felt uneasy and I’m sure some of the participants did also. To their credit, the participants took the question at face value. One of them explained that Muslims are more of a “cultural minority” than an IP.

That was not the first time in this training that I noted how a lot of us here in Davao could still learn where being “culturally-sensitive” is concerned. I want it clear that I am not passing on any judgment. I do not take it against the RP that she had to ask that question. To her, it was an innocent inquiry. It was pretty evident that she simply does not know and had to clarify that since it had something to do with her lecture. Based on how she proceeded with her lecture, it was obvious that her original thinking was that Muslims are really considered IPs.

In the same training, another RP had repeatedly coined a certain reference document as the agency’s “Bible.” And twice made the gesture of the cross when during the open forum, a few participants raised questions about certain practices in their locality and how these were bordering on the illegal. I knew the RP just did not know any better and it led me to wonder how many of us here also do not.

I am lucky since my work exposes me to a lot of groups. Not only does it add more to my knowledge, I feel that it also enriches me as a person. It broadened my horizon and freed me from the prejudices introduced to me in my youth. I became aware that there are belief systems and practices that are entirely different from my own. And that being different does not necessarily mean something is wrong with the other’s beliefs or practices. We are just different, period. And being so, one does not necessarily have to be better than the other.

In one of my work engagements, one participant took time to explain to me what Islam is all about and I fell in love with it. Dabbling with meditation and yoga also introduced me to Buddhism and Hinduism. They’re both equally beautiful belief systems. And I guess it is understandably so, because God is beautiful, no matter in what form S/He may choose to represent Himself/Herself.

I am not perfect. I still have aversion to certain things and situations. But being more aware, I am now able to step back, examine my prejudices and label them as what they really are – baseless, ignorant assumptions. Every person, regardless of color, religion, sexual orientation or preference is worthy of respect. We have no right to pass on any judgment. At the same time, we have the responsibility to try to learn more about the people we closely deal with. We have to take time to know what would adversely affect their sensibilities and try our best to avoid these. I am thinking, if only all of us would bother to do so, this world would certainly be a better place for everyone. (And I can't help but think of this in the context of Mindanao)

Being a mother, I’m thinking of raising Baby being aware of these things very early on. I don’t want him to grow up passing judgment on others. Especially so, that he is growing up where he is – a melting pot of different cultures. It is difficult though. As it is, on the issue of gender sensitivity alone, it is already being tested everyday. He came home one day telling me, “Nanay, di ba okay lang sa boy ang pink? Di ba okay lang ang Dora?” Then he related how a classmate of his told him he is gay because he asked permission to play with her “pink” Dora toy. It’s a good thing he still comes to me to relate all these things. That way I could still reinforce the things I am trying to teach him. What then when he is out there and would be bombarded by views that are not entirely correct? What if he would stop coming home to me and ask my opinion?

It’s a good thing that right now, my son still looks up to me and believe what I tell him. I know there will come a time that he would be forming his own views of things. I could only pray that among these would be the grain of truths I wanted to impart to him. Oh, but life is beautiful. I know it’ll find ways to enrich my son’s own in ways I could only imagine for now.

Streams of Consciousness

Bolo and I watched a little TV last night, trying to get ourselves tired enough to go to sleep. A game show was on. It had something to do with music – karaoke style. The contestants had to guess the lyrics of the songs. Their genre was pretty varied – foreign and local artists, oldies to current hits. And that’s when the realization struck me big time – noticing the difference in the songs of the past to that of the most recent ones.

I’ve noticed that the lyrics and the themes of the songs of the past revolved on something “pure,” and unadulterated like deep love for a significant other, for parents, for one’s son or daughter. Most of the songs were about hope, enduring faith… about values.

Compare that to today’s songs? What do you get? You get to hear about violence, lust, children hating their parents, getting a boob job, a nose job.. You get to hear about hatred, disgust, discontent… I’m not saying though that it applies to all of the songs these days. Of course there are also those of love, commitment and other values.

Still, it’s a bit disconcerting realizing how too much of the “bad stuff” are being proliferated in today’s media. Music, just like any art, to me is a stream of consciousness wherein the soul finds a way to communicate the truth and wisdom it holds. If today’s music is that of hatred, of lust, what does that tell us about the consciousness that’s prevailing these days?

I’m thinking, here we are we sit at home, with the kids right beside us and we watch while barely-clothed ladies gyrate their hips to songs that have very “suggestive” lyrics. Some might even find the song “amusing,” not realizing that that’s what we are feeding the minds of our youth these days. For me, I always find it alarming seeing parents encouraging and praising their children who are mimicking the “sexy” dancing they see on TV. Other parents find it “amusing” as well. To me, there is nothing amusing about it at all. Far from it.

Ah, I long for the day back when my lola would croon to me songs about deep love and commitment. The kind of love that one takes to the grave and even thereafter, not today’s kind that would bloom and end within the span of a week.

I find it sad and alarming noticing how these days we are not only polluting our rivers and seas but our streams of consciousness as well. What kind of world and future are we shaping our sons and daughters in?

Sifting Through Information

The tricycle driver scoffed at us when we told him the CT scan costs four thousand. He said that is the first time he heard that such a “minor” procedure cost as much. He turned to us and said that his own Mom had been in and out of the hospital due to stroke and that all the procedures are familiar to him because of that. He said the CT scan entails being attached with wires on certain parts of the body and then be connected to a certain machine which will do the reading. I immediately thought that he probably mistook ECG for CT scan. In a know-it-all tone he told us CT scan will only cost around 150 to 200 pesos. Then he muttered under his breath, “Four thousand!” Bolo and I exchanged knowing looks and just smiled at each other.

After that he told us to go to the office next to the hospital entrance. He said it is where we could get discount for certain procedures. He said we only have to fill in forms there and then we could save a lot of money if we do that. He also shared with us other important information. While he was sharing all these, I sat there and said to myself, “These, these, are what I needed to hear.” I felt he was our driver then and not anyone else because of information that he had to share..

The experience taught me a great deal about having a discerning heart. Often times, we get to hear about certain things and we begin to feel bad and stop at that. Sometimes if we hear certain people talk about a person we readily assume what they said to be true even if we haven’t met the person personally yet.

I learned in the past how life and the universe give you exactly what you want and the answers to your question. That is why you have to be clear as to what your questions are and the things that you really want. Otherwise the answers could have slapped you right in your face and you just didn’t know it.

If I readily judged Manong driver to be ignorant based on the things he said about the CT scan then I also would not have learned of the other things that he had to say which proved really helpful later on. Sometimes a person had to open his mouth only once and we immediately make our judgment. Even I am guilty of that sometimes… Often times we had one bad experience with a person and we stop there, have him stamped and labeled as such as if he is not entitled to change and his own growth… I wonder why is that?

Ah, I’m very much fond of truth. Otherwise I wouldn’t have taken Philosophy as a course. We have this saying in college how difficult it is to love “Sophia” (knowledge, truth) but we love her anyway. And so despite the difficulty, of being misled at times, I still continue to seek for her, to yearn for her… to sift through layers demi-truth just to behold her in her purest form. (I’m talking shop I know hehehe but I’m sure philosophy lovers would know exactly what I mean…)

Given all the information overload in our world these days – and I meant “information” in every way and sense – it is quite easy to be misled and to close ourselves to further realities and truths. It is so easy to believe in one thing and to stick to it no matter what. We make judgments and we cling to it till the end of time. We tend to forget that life is ever evolving. Persons are always changing. And that we have a wonderful God who is constantly and patiently working on the good of each one of us.

Each one of us is a work in progress. I am a work in progress. That few persons who have hurt me just recently are also works in progress. So I certainly have no business feeling bitter and unforgiving. Doing so is tantamount to “not believing.” And I do believe. And everyday I cling to such faith. It’s not difficult to. How can it be difficult when everyday I feel His kindness even when I may be right smack in the middle of a personal battle and problems…

Thank you Father God.