The Forum

I almost did not make it to today’s forum. I woke up late. While it wasn’t exactly late, late, it was much later than I had intended. I couldn’t quite make up my mind whether I still should bother getting to the forum. It is the last day anyway. Make that – last “half-day” as the session is only for the entire morning and breaking up at lunch. It did also did not help that the venue was like at the north and we’re like living in the extreme south.

But dressed up I did. I dragged myself all the way to the forum and made it just in time for the session following the morning break. And I think there could be no better timing than that. Now, looking back, had I been in real early, I know I would have suffered from wanting some more sleep. While it may not be true, I would have found the earlier sessions boring and would have spent the whole time trying to keep myself awake than really listening to what is being said.

When I arrived at the session hall, I sheepishly made excuses with the secretariat, signed the attendance sheet and found myself a seat at the back. The extra hour sleep made me more alert than I normally am at that hour. Well, arriving late also made me a bit more conscientious and determined to give the forum my 100% attention and participation. The point I’m really trying to say is this – at that time, I couldn’t be more ready than I should be to hear about the message being delivered to me at that moment.

There I sat, listening to this person share with the rest of us his experiences about the kind of peace work he is doing. Being alert, I felt as if this person was pouring out his heart and I was absorbing every word, nuances and meaning he was trying to convey. The most amazing thing about it is that he is in a profession you’d expect to have anything to do with peace, in its real sense of the word. But there he was, showing all of us that contrary to what we may think, there are no limitations to doing peace work. Peace work defies boundaries. It goes through leaps and bounds, recognizes its seeming “limitations” but goes beyond them nonetheless.

He was talking about concrete experiences but there I was realizing things far beyond than what was being shared. At an instant I felt as if I glimpsed God’s face right there. I sensed His wisdom, His design..

There was this person, a soldier nonetheless telling us he is going beyond his “call of duty” to take the path less traveled by the likes of him and lay down foundations for peace rather than war. At one point I was greatly amused at God’s sense of humor. A soldier huh? He called on a soldier to do peace work. How funny could God be? :) And He did all that just to show everyone how there is really no limitation to what He can do. I readily sensed that He had tasked this person to deliver more than just one message – there is no limitation to what we can do once we set our mind to it; our histories, the realities that govern us do not necessarily put us in a box; and how God’s wisdom is truly different from human wisdom. I sat there admiring this particular person and at the same time, being awed by a God whom I know is at work in and through him.

The whole experience again reaffirmed to me how “preaching” about one’s faith and spirituality does not necessarily mean having to “openly” speak about it. The more effective way of doing so really is by being the best that we can be at what we do, reaching our full potential as a human being. Being the best we can be, we deliver a more powerful message. Indirectly, we manifest God’s work in us and His wisdom. We give others a glimpse of Him, from whom all things good come.

I was thinking the whole time how far removed I am from such a state of being. I am still very much a work in progress. If there is one thing common I sensed about these people I admire so much, it’s the kind of “self-possession” that they manifest. By self-possession I mean standing there with obvious authority and yet with apparent humility. As if they know full well that all that they’ve become and have accomplished are not out of their own doing. It’s talking about one’s experiences not to blow one’s horn but to drive home the message of love, of life and their significance. Not as the sole author but as a “handmade,” only doing a service.

For all my passion about writing, I am still unwritten. I have yet to become all that I could be. At the moment, I am so consumed by my own dramas I have yet to fully define in order for me to go beyond them. I could say I have reached heights where my becoming is concerned but there are far greater summits that I have yet to conquer.

Unwritten, undefined, that’s what I am. I am still very much a work in progress and I pray I won’t tarry too long in the process. Because, I sense that there is still far too much to do, to accomplish, to fulfill and too little “awake” persons to do the bidding.

I am a willing volunteer but I also found out sometimes I stay far too long in one place just to smell the roses, be so consumed in the many realities I find myself in to really be such a good “handmade.” I was about to write, “soldier” but I immediately corrected myself. Words after all have energies and they help define realities. And, “handmade” defines much better realities than the latter does :) But anyway, everyday I’m learning, “unlearning” and relearning… and everyday, He is also doing His work in me, so I guess I’m not really that far off the mark…