"Truli"

Today, there was love most definitely. We marked a milestone today— Rod’s rite of passage to manhood. It’s one of the reasons why I came home and why this particular exercise took this long to happen. Because, Nanay has to be there. I’ve had half the thought on that. After all, it’s a manly thing and Tatay being there should be enough. We’re running out of time as well. School is almost here and it takes a while for the healing to complete. Yet, even Tatay thinks I should be there. He said it’ll certainly make a difference. True enough, even when Tatay was holding his other hand and engulfing him in a hug from his head down, it was my name he calls out when the pain started. “Nanay!” A plea, looking straight at me, his eyes full of fear and pain. Tatay and I shushed, soothe, squeezed his hand, hugged, kissed and whispered understanding and comforting words. Still his cries fill the small clinic. My heart lurched in pain. I wish I could take his pain as my own. I told him so.. It felt like eternity, holding his hand, seeing him pained. But I was grateful to have been there for him. I nearly fainted from the stress of it all but I wouldn't take it in any other way. I may not be always there for my children due to the nature of my work but I am truly blessed to have always been given the chance to be there when it counts. Thank you as always, God.

Running Home

Remembering how at this time, three years ago, I was busy preparing our memory bank at home. It was for my first trip for work away from home. The lengths we go through as absentee parents. It's always a challenge but there are always creative ways to bridge the distance. It, of course, does not measure much esp. in comparison to being physically there -- being able to touch, hug, kiss, soothe... I'm still being pulled from both directions and often, I question my choices... But, at the same time, I also feel that I am meant to be where I am and where I find myself to be... So I walk (albeit reluctantly most times), follow where I am being called... give the whole of me... and just run right back to where open arms, wet kisses, gurgling laughter are waiting for me.. I'm running now (delayed flights and long overlays notwithstanding)..