"Dancer"

The family went on a weekend vacation at Tatay Along’s place in Butuan last May. The kids, particularly Baby, had a field day. It’s Baby’s first visit to a farm and he was so delighted to see first-hand all those things he gets to read only in books. He particularly took a liking to a cute, little piglet that run about freely around Tatay’s yard. There was also a hen and her chicks, some dogs and cats. But what really excited him were the carabaos. And surprising enough, he calls them “dancer.”

For a month now I’ve really been wondering how he happens to associate the word, “dancer” with a carabao. Of course, I readily corrected him then, repeating again and again, it is a carabao. And soon enough he was calling it a carabao. But then after a while, when he’d see one, he’d point at it and would say, “Nanay, look, dancer.” And I was like, “Huh?” I could not for the love of me understand why the term. I was thinking he probably saw it in Disney Channel or in one of his cartoon shows. I even asked him about it if he saw a “dancing” carabao in Disney Channel but he just looked at me in a strange way as if asking himself if he’s Nanay had turned nuts on him wahehehe.

And then last, night, the puzzle was solved at last. I was really beside myself with laughter when Baby ran to me from the other room to show me the new pajamas his Lola Linda bought him. He came to me running, saying, “Nanay, dancer! Dancer!” And lo and behold, there it was, a pair of Carter pajamas with “DINOSAUR” prints on them! Hahaha! So that was what “dancer” was about. Baby mistook a carabao for a dinosaur! Hahaha! How cute of him. Dancer indeed!

I think it’s really cute how good Baby is with his animals and all of that. I think I’m also pleased with the fact that he takes interests in dinosaurs. I used to like them too when I was little but I did not have the patience to really know them all by heart. I knew a T-Rex though and that long-necked “vegetarian” kind, the name of which, escapes me at the moment. But other than that, I always confuse my “saurs” and my “clops,” whatever hehehe. Now, I’m thinking if it’s high time to buy baby those dinosaur books or cards with all the names on them. Wouldn’t want to put much pressure though where his learning is concerned.

Of course I want Baby to grow up smart and intelligent. We pray for that everyday. But I wouldn’t want to be the kind of Mom who forces things down my son’s throat just because I have such grandiose designs for him and his life. I would very much want to be the kind of Mom who would be sensitive enough to pay attention to his own rhythms and flow. I want to have an active part in his life – helping him along, “molding” him ever so carefully to help him achieve his full potential. At the same time, I want to be an attentive spectator, watching him, holding my breath as he unfolds right under my very eyes. I am excited to learn about his own personality, his own sanskaras and what his “message” would be in this world.

My son, all that he is, and all that he will be, is something that is far beyond my grasp or undoing. I maybe his mother and as such, is responsible for him in many ways but at the same time I acknowledge the fact that like me, he is also the Father’s “masterpiece.” God has His own plans and designs for him and that is something far beyond “me.” Controlling his life in the perspective of my own “grandiose” designs and illusions would be like committing a mortal sin. It would be like disregarding altogether the Hand that made all things be. And I pray that He will help me along on this -- to constantly remind me of this fact -- that I am just a ward, a guardian in my son’s life. I should lighten up a bit and not take my role as his mother too seriously. After all, I am not in control of everything. HE is.