Parenting Style

Baby was sick while I was preparing to go for another training. I was loathe to go. I did not want to drive home the point to Baby that my work is more important to me. One thing difficult about this job that I have is that schedules are set way, way beforehand and there is no such thing as taking a “sick leave” or an “emergency leave.” Commitments are commitments no matter if something else came up.

To compromise, I gave up a free ride to the venue of the training to spend another night with Baby. Good thing the organizers agreed that I would just report on the day of the training itself. I knew they would have wanted me to come earlier since there are still a lot of things that needed straightening out. So while I tended to Baby, I prepared him as best as I could to my impending absence for the next two days. I told him I wanted to be with him as he is sick but I had made prior commitments. I told him, I would rather be with him instead and that I would be constantly worrying about him where I am.

I made a deal with him. I told him, I needed him to take care of himself while I’m away. I told him he had to get better since he would have to fetch me where I’d be. I told him I would be staying at a resort and that on the day that they would fetch me, there would be a bird show he would be watching. I also told him we will be going to the eagle center which is just nearby, where we be seeing a real eagle first hand, for the first time. I told him I want him to have that experience and that I want to share it with him and so he really would have to get better.

The toughest part about it was that I also got sick while I was in training. While we were working sleepless over some of the training requirements, I was fighting down the beginnings of a bad case of flu as well. I shrugged it off, thinking only of Sunday when Baby would come and experience a bird show for the first time. Quite weird it might be, but it was what kept me going for the next two full-24- hours working.

Then Sunday came. I got a text from Tatay that Mama objected to Baby’s coming over as he is not quite well yet. I knew it made so much sense but I certainly felt as if a plug was pulled from under me. My intention was to have the olds come as well so they could enjoy the experience and the eagle trip. It had been a while since we had some kind of family outing. So when I got that text from Tatay, my immediate reaction was that it was Mama again and her tendency to object on just about anything. Hehehe that was fever and stress talking I guess. That, and being frustrated at having all my plans gone askew.

After a while, I began to see Mama’s intentions. Baby, probably is not feeling well yet. After all, the resort I’m at is quite a drive from downtown. To catch the bird show at 10:00 AM, they would have to leave the house at 8:30 in the morning. Well, that is how slow Tatay drives when he has family (esp. Baby) on board. It’s at a rate of the average time it takes to get there plus another 30 minutes or so, depending on the distance. Him driving friends or clients to adventure destinations, is a different thing altogether.

Anyway, so while I was downright drowning in my flu and my disappointment, I asked Tatay how well Baby is and that if he thinks he’s not well enough to make the whole trip then they would have to stay at home and I would have to catch a ride with the rest of the training team. Tatay’s response was that he would fetch me no matter what. I asked him to ask Baby how he feels about the whole thing. I told him to ask Baby if he’s feeling well enough for the trip to fetch me or that he would rather stay at home.

I was waiting for Tatay’s response when it dawned on me how today’s generation of parents (well, at least those I know personally) have really come a long way compared to our own parent’s parenting style. I mean, who would have thought of consulting a 3-year old on such matters? In the past, parents would normally just do things on the basis of their own judgments. There is no such thing as consulting the children no matter how old they are already. Well, generally that is. No one could blame them either since they also have learned that from the parents before them.

When Tatay texted me that they would have to push through with the trip since Baby is showing everyone he’s really trying hard to appear “not sick,” I was both overjoyed and concerned. I asked Tatay to bring pillows and do everything to make Baby really comfortable all the way. True enough, they arrived when I was just wrapping things up with the training. I was glad to see that the olds and my “niece-daughter” Janin came as well. The weekend was a blast. Baby and I were not feeling so well to fully appreciate everything but it is nice to hear him babble about the eagles and animals he saw back at the eagle center the past few days. It means the experience still made a mark on him. Lately he’d been so quick to tell everyone who cares to listen, that he was finally able to see a real eagle and not just the ones on the book or his DVDs. Also, what I particularly liked about that weekend is the “hito-stop” we made at the city’s “hito district” where rows of restaurants serving hito can be found. To save time, we ordered fried hito for take out and enjoyed it once we got home.

Back on parenting style, I could never claim to be the best parent there is. I certainly have my faults as well. I also have my own shortcomings that would have me cry silently in shame after an episode has passed. But this, I could certainly say, I try my best to be the best that I could be…