"Face-Book"

It's one of my bad habits really, if one can call it that -- after accomplishing a really substantial task at work (a difficult section of a major report, or having finished a minor one), I would "crave" for facebook.  Very often, I would give in to the temptation, to give me some time of a "mental break" following any of those "technical task."  Yup, excuses, excuses hehehe  After all, almost everybody just loves to facebook, period.

But yeah, so here I am now, on my first "long" overseas assignment and coming in when there is so much to catch up with, there really is very little time to do facebook.  I must add though, that on two occasions, I certainly did manage to do so.

What urged me to pen this down really is the sudden realization that I have found my alternative to facebook and that is to discuss face-to-face with a colleague, books that we both love to read (separately that is).  And indeed, it has proven to be such a good mental break.

I find it refreshing to finally have a colleague to have book-chats with.  Although, lunch hour with the previous team also has it's "book-club-moments,"  books as a topic was not really a regular thing.  Right now though I enjoy in-between-tasks banter over books.  It's totally refreshing.

Funny, but I'm reminded of one of those intimate conversations I had with Tatay just before I left.  We were enumerating each others' good traits.  I grew thoughtful and told him how it just occurred to me the "logic" behind why it's him in my life and not anyone else.  I told him how he fits "exactly" the bill of what the current "me" needs. It sounds more selfish than what I really mean but there is no other way to express it for now.  And then, while I was telling him exactly that, I had an after thought and pointed out that -- except perhaps for the "books."  He knew right away what I meant.

Tatay and books are like water and oil.  They just don't mix.  I've been encouraging him to read short stories but short or not, it's just not up his alley and I totally understand.   So when I mentioned that he quickly asked, "What if you would find your "books" and have that person mindful of your well-being as well?  What then?"  I did not have to think long and hard to answer his question.  I asked him back, "What then?" To me it's a non-issue.  I thought then that I will be -- and now that it is happening to me, am -- grateful.  Beyond that, however, nothing would change.

The whole thing has made me think.  In the light of what Tatay "did" to me, a minute part of me is wondering if I would ever entertain the thought of retaliating, dishing him with a "payback" situation.  In truth?  Not really.  I'm much too... "simple" to ever want to complicate my life by making bad choices.  Besides, it's not just "my" choice to make.

So yeah, I'm way past the stage where I may swoon at the slightest hint of "alike-ness."  Well, I am not, "not affected" by it, that's for sure.  But yeah, I am much too simple... and perhaps getting far too old for wanting to change my relationship status into "it's complicated."  Besides, it's not just about me and of course it's a two-way thing.  And another thing, I have children!  And that, says it all.