I Always Would.

Funny how things work at times.  But I've always believed that there is no such thing as a coincidence really.  Sometimes I think, we "bid" certain situations to come to us because we're wrestling with some inner questions we can't seem to formulate quite clearly.  We know something is going on inside and that we are trying to put a name to it but can't seem to grasp it quite clearly.  Other times, I think we're being nudged to a certain direction and so suddenly something would happen that would make us think and make us fully conscious of the choice we have to make, that our hearts have long decided on. Something akin to this happened to me today and so I would just have to pen it down. 

Last night, we went to the citadel. As it was already dark, it is already close. I did not quite expect that.  I knew there would be restaurants around it that are often frequented by locals.  We came because a colleague invited us.  Been very busy since I got here so I was not really able to go around yet and I know this week would be quite hectic as well. So I grabbed the chance.  It had always been the hotel, office, nearby cafe and food shops for me since I got here.  When we were driving towards, the first thing I noticed was the solid, "stone" roads leading to the citadel. Anyhow, what drew my attention next are the many ruins and totally destroyed buildings we're passing by.  As if reading my mind our colleagues would say, "Nope, that was not because of the earthquake." Those were destroyed during the war.   She had repeated that perhaps 3 to 4 times as we made our way up towards the citadel.

I was tired so I was feeling a bit detached. Or so I thought.  Today, had to go out to get some food supplies and coffee. Since the museum is literally just around the corner, we decided to visit it.  Afterwards, we had some ice cream and bought some water to take back to the hotel.  As we were right opposite Sheraton where we stayed previously and where I left a pouch of daily-use essential oils, we decided to drop by and have our coffee there. We had to wait awhile only to be told they could not find it there.  So anyhow, we went to buy some groceries and then went back to the hotel.  

Caught up with Forest who then requested that I watch her sleep. I told her I'll sing her the song I usually sing to them when they were babies -- "The Promise."  So I sang and watch her sleep. I had a senior moment and tried to remember who sang it.  I knew it was from our old LPs of Mama's so I thought it must be Doris Day's.  Anyway, so I googled to be certain and came across Chris Cornell's.

I knew his must be a different song altogether because I was pretty certain his would not be as ancient as the song I sang to the kids.   I clicked on the MTV anyway and decided to watch.  And then there it was.  First scene, the "Battle of Aleppo." It was followed by the painful exodus of the people that was the result of it.  The scenes leapt at me, the devastation; the trip to the dessert; to those crowded ships crossing the Mediterranean... Yes, those bright red life jackets that had become a symbol of the many lives -- young and old -- that were lost at sea in those times.  I've forgotten that.  Now, looking as the scenes came alive in front of me -- some even are those of the Somali crisis and some other crisis --   the floodgates just opened.  "Detached" my @$$.  

I guess seeing one emergency, one after another, one gets sort of "vaccinated" and becomes somewhat immune.  To some extent, one is not as bothered by it anymore.  It ceases to become a "passion," or a "cause" which was the reason why one signs up for this "profession," in the first place.  Well at least in my case.  It starts to become "just another day at work."  But I guess I'm always "lucky" coz each and every time, I would be reminded -- To.Always.Care; that I "SHOULD" care.. Because, I am fully human.  And perhaps, a long time ago, before I've started on this journey in this lifetime, I have decided that I always would.  

Field Work Musings (First FW this year)

Truth must be really tired now if she is an actual person.  Coz she can easily be ignored, really.  Others are more than happy to take on half-truths, even outright fake news/untruth if it will suit their own personal interests…

In a humanitarian situation, community needs are ACTUAL needs.  There’s no need to qualify that further whether you get enough media coverage or not…Syria has long been forgotten even if most of its people feel everyday what had cost them this war.  

I’m here to do some field work.  And while the conversations I had would often revolve on the same narrative – how the earthquake has compounded the vulnerabilities of the people – there was one that really struck me.  I quote, “Has the epicenter of the earthquake happen to just be in Turkey alone, this country would not have been so ‘lucky.’”  Imagine that.  Lucky to have been struck by a natural disaster but I totally understand where the other person was coming from.

The earthquake has once again brought Syria to media attention.  As a consequence, the donor landscape has suddenly shifted to accommodate a place for Syria once again.  They’ve been “ignored” for years now as more and more emergencies are happening around the world; as more “media-grabbing” crises are brought to the limelight and to the forefront of “donor consciousness.”  Not saying that these crises are “little” or “less important” as compared to Syria. The drought and hunger crisis in HECA is a serious one. (And if I may add, also receiving less funding than other emergencies do, despite how massive and urgent the needs are.)

For a country that has been ravaged by war for more than a decade, the needs in Syria are unimaginable.  You have a country where power outage several times a day has become a norm.  A colleague shared how shops used to be open till 3 am in the past.  Now, they close around 11 or midnight because the power goes out by then.  I could only imagine how it is for ordinary households, having to go through harsh winters with the power constantly off.  They would have to resort to gas-fueled heaters and fuel prices have skyrocketed over the years.  And this is compounded even more with inflation affecting SYP. 

When I first came, I was surprised to have been handed a “bundle” of cash when I exchanged my USD.  I was surprised even more when I only managed to buy a small bottle of olive oil, a small packet of coffee and some vegetables with that whole sum.  What would daily expenses look like for ordinary households then? For the female-headed households with several children and dependents to feed? 

These are “truths,” realities that I know donor communities are aware of as well.  And still, had it not been for this earthquake, there were little aid trickling into Syria. And the "cost requirements" are massive -- for repairs and rehabilitation of WASH facilities; food and livelihood needs, etc.  The recent cholera crisis that hit several governorates here is the consequence of under-attended WASH needs.  Being in my role (but also on a personal level), I know I’d be looking at whether this earthquake and the interventions being mounted now by different humanitarian organizations (by my own, mostly) would be making a significant change in the years to come.  I’ve seen enough emergencies in my work to know this is not always the case. But I sure hope it would be different this time.