Love on the Long Haul

I'm borrowing the above title to today's edition of the Daily Devotional, which is an off-shoot from the famous book, "Purpose Driven Life." Today's devotional talked about marriage and comparing that of Jesus' marriage to us -- the Church -- his bride. It pointed out that with us as His bride, Jesus somewhat got shortchanged for all our flaws and imperfections, not to mention our tendency to be unfaithful to Him through our actions... It also pointed out how today's marriages seem to disolve at the least possible excuse. A little problem encountered and the couple call it quits. That easily. The devotional went on to say that even the best of relationships go through some difficulties and trials...

I am remembering all of these since just a little while ago, taking a little breather from work, some officemates and I got to talk about marriage. Well, lately, I had often gotten teased and is often the butt of joke being the "newly wed" in the office. It is a usual scene to have an officemate or two "scaring" me by telling me some "horror stories" about being married. This afternoon was no different. We got to talk about jealousy and infidelity. It was actually just all fun. We were teasing an officemate who had quite a jealous wife. And as expected, the conversation turned to me. I was asked if I am the jealous type and whether I have reached a point where I quarelled with B or another woman out of jealousy... Everything was just light-hearted conversation, nothing malicious or anything. But it sure had me thinking when someone said that B and I would certainly be undergoing such trials. I immediately rebuked the person but it sure had me thinking.

Every night, when I pray, I always include a little prayer that He protect B and I from any form of temptation... I am observant enough to know that temptations indeed abound and that many marriages have been shaken and broken because of it. It would be hypocritical of me if I'd say I did not have any such fears... I do have them. But deep down, really, I don't entertain such thoughts. Oh, I do have some qualms everytime B is out travelling somewhere. Aside from fearing for his safety, I also fear whether he would figure out in some "fidelity tests" while away from me. And yet, seeing how we are to each other, somewhat erases such doubts. I don't know what awaits us in the future. All I know is that at this moment in time, I could honestly say that we have such high regards and love for each other. I don't see also any point in living constantly in fear of something that is yet unknown and have no certainty of ever happening...

Getting married is indeed different. And it is not helping when you get other people telling you what to expect out of it or what horrors to expect you have to face in some distant future... As for B and I, we're taking it a day at a time. For the moment, we're still treating each other as friends, as buddies, like we used to. Oh there are adjustments alright but there are good moments too. Like how nice it is to finally be waking up next to each other. Or of having to watch the other sleep, not quite believing we're finally sleeping next to each other... It brings forth a feeling of contentment...

Contentment. I often got a glimpse -- from observing my married friends -- into the truth behind why marriage is being coined "paglalagay sa tahimik." Living it firsthand now, I am beginning to understand it more fully. Horror stories notwithstanding, getting married has more than its share of merits. Quiet conversations, moments of self-discovery and affirmation... It is love on the long haul alright... It is taking your love for each other on a much deeper level. Everyday, these days, I get to learn more of me in the area of loving, giving, making adjustments and some sacrifices... I'm learning about how deeply still I could feel and give for the persons that I love...