He's Leaving Me

I lay beside him, already in my office get-up, trying to fight back the tears... At the other side of him are his mountaineering stuff and supplies -- some neatly piled up while others are thrown haphazardly about. I was giving him last minute reminders, running through my mental checklist of what he should be bringing with him in his 15-day "mountaineering engagement."

It would be the first time since we got married that we are to be separated for this long. Oh, there were several weekends when he had to leave me for similar concerns but this is to be the longest yet. And it just occured to me that this is the first time that he's going to a climb without me. Preparing our stuff and supplies used to be a shared responsibility and activity. We usually would have to decide what goes into my bag and his. The heavy stuff goes into his (hehehe)while the lighter ones goes into mine. But I do have my share of carrying our supplies too. I usually would be allotted one or two kilos of rice along with the other lighter grocery stuff. Still, his bag would be much bigger and would stand towering over my much smaller backpack. Ah, those were the days...

I reiterated to him that I've already prepared his shoes, his mess kit, etc., etc. I insisted on his bringing with him the little supplies I've put together. Being semi-vegetarian had always posed a problem. We usually would have to bring our own supplies and groceries since we couldn't impose on our meat-eating friends to adopt a semi-vegetarian menu for the entire duration of our out-of-town trips and climbs. Lately though, they have made some allowances for us thus reducing the amount of vegetables he would have to carry with him hehehe. He told me I need not worry since he was informed that the group he will be with will be adhering to a no-meat menu. I still insisted, telling him he could not take any chances. There are, after all, no grocery stores in the mountains.

With reluctance, I stood up to leave. Any minute longer and I would be late for the office. I tried to appear nonchalant. I know it's difficult for him also. He had been dubious about going on the trip since he thought it too long. But then again, business is business. And he had to go. If I would give in to the tears, I know it would be difficult for him to leave too so I forced on a smile. He had his own set of reminders too for me -- not to go home late, be with Mama in going home as much as possible... He reminded me to attend the meeting for the Kayaking club on Wednesday... And most importantly, to take care of "ourselves" and no "laag" while he is gone. He told me he will be texting me. Well, there is indeed some signal on some parts of the trail. I know this for a fact, myself. I told him not to forget to pray constantly and that he take care of himself too. I asked him to make a little prayer of "request" when he gets to the peak for our "little project" come November or December :) Haay, I'm fighting the tears, even now. I miss him even now. Good Luck B. Hope you'd enjoy your stay there somewhat. Say hello to that great mountain for me. I miss being in her midst, myself. Take care always and Godspeed.