Musings

“Why can’t it last?” I turned to Bee and asked. We were still both in bed trying to get our bearings before getting up and start preparing for the day. I have just related how I had a pleasant dream about my crush paying me special attention – asking me how I was, and showing me special concern. And yes, I could talk to Bee about my crushes. Not that there are many or that I have one for a prolonged period of time. They’re usually just individuals with brilliant minds and passion for Mindanao, whom I would greatly admire. Well, I must add that they’re about my age and are not exactly lacking where the physical aspect is concerned hehehe

So, anyway, I was telling Bee about how I woke up feeling good from the dream. And, immediately, he dragged me out of the cloud I was floating on to remind me that “these things” happen only during the courtship stage and soon after will fade to oblivion. That was what the “why-not-last” question about. I asked why it could not last. I argued that it really depends on the couple. If they would make the effort, then certainly the relationship could retain its “courtship-like” atmosphere.

His quick rejoinder to what I said really had me thinking. Very quickly he said, “Lisod man gud mag-love pirmi sa gamug-ot!” Wahahaha! I mean yeah, it’s a simple statement but it certainly means a lot. Indeed it is difficult to feel the love consistently for someone who is constantly frowning or worrying or nagging you.

Come to think of it, the courtship stage is mostly about being your best self. You get flattered so you respond accordingly. You smile a lot, you’re a lot kinder, a lot more patient, etc. It’s no wonder there is nothing but “feel-good” energy during this stage. Now, marriage is an entirely different case altogether. It’s when you get to see the person for who s/he really is. And, it’s not always that you’ll find a reason to smile about. More often than not, there are (somehow) a lot more reasons to frown about.

Now, I’m wondering, can there not be a way to go past all of that? I mean, I’m not saying one should be delusional and turn a blind eye on problems just to maintain that “happy-nothing-is-wrong” atmosphere. All I’m saying is, is there not a way wherein we could tackle “problems” and “knots” in our relationship as something that are just momentary bumps in the road and not the be-all and end-all of the relationship? I mean sure, there are bound to be hardships along the way but do we just stop at that? Hmm… I know it’s easier said than done but really? All I’m trying to say is that sometimes, the way we look at things could spell a whole lot of difference.

What you seek is what you shall find. The “Secret” said something like, “You attract what you feel so strongly about.” So if you constantly focus on the negativities of your relationship then I guess that’s what you’ll get more of. Or is it? Just thinking out loud.