Swimming Shades

Writing is such an integral part of who I am. I write when something inspires me; when something upsets me or when something really nice happened. I love the opportunity it gives me to express and "find" myself as writing gives me the chance to sort out the million and one feelings I may be having at one time.

I have been writing for as long as I could remember that it had also become a second nature to coin terms that I think would best express what I'm really feeling. I love playing with words, and maybe that is also the reason why I love flirting over at YM hahaha! Shh... allow me to be a bit defensive though, I don't flirt to everyone at YM just one or a few...err.. select friends hahaha

Anyway, I'm digressing again. I was just made to think about this fun I have over coining terms because of what happened this morning. Bee and I are cleaning house -- part of our ritual of welcoming the new year. By the way, we bought Baby a new cabinet -- out of his earned gift check from the Johnson's contest. Well, I had to augment it in order to make the purchase but it was all worth it. So anyway, the first thing we tackled was Baby's very big carton of toys. We knew we had to get rid of some, as the closet could only hold so much. Some of the old toys were already broken anyway.

Baby was still asleep while we were at the task so it was pretty much dependent upon our judgment. I judged it on two things -- (1) the state it's in, and (2) remembering Baby's own attachment to the toys. Some of the "firsts," no matter how broken, got saved by reasons of sentimentality hehehe Anyway, when Baby woke up this morning and saw the big, clear plastic full of toys, he took a look at them and tearfully asked me if we are giving all of them away. I took pity on him knowing full well his attachment to the toys. I remained firm though and told him that they are all broken anyway and that some kids might enjoy them still so we will be giving them away. As way of processing, I told him to take a good look at the pile and say his 'goodbyes' to them. That somehow appeased him, especially when I told him he could take out anything he might still like since I did put in some really good ones but are no longer age appropriate.

So he took a good look and did take out some toys for his keeping. I was tempted to argue with some of his choices but i knew I had to honor his feelings as well. Besides, I was also busy with cleaning the house. Then at one point, I hear him say something in a tone somewhat akin to horror. In an incredulous voice he asked me, "Nanay! 'Bigay mo tong swimming shades ko?!" (Nanay, are you giving away my "swimming shades?!") I was like, "What the ---- is a 'swimming shades?'" I took a look at what he is pointing at and almost doubled over in laughter. He was crouched over the plastic while holding on to his old pair of "googles." Haha! Swimming shades indeed... really smart baby I have here... ;) I'm wondering if he would take to "writing" as well :) I would surely be grateful if he would but would not be upset either if he'd had other interests :)

But really, Baby is way, way cool :) "Swimming shades" indeed! Haha!

Amazing Technology

I'm currently blogging here while at the same time downloading songs from the internet. But that is not what I find so amazing. Both my laptop and phone have bluetooth. So to spruce up the scanty mp3 collection of my phone, I tried sending via bluetooth some of the songs I have already downloaded in my laptop. While I was doing so, I was prompted if I want some kind of authentication for both devices, for security sake. I don't look at myself as a techie but I do know computer stuff -- which should be the case, considering I took computer science as a course for three years in college hehehe. Anyway, so I did what I had to do and viola! There go the songs from my laptop being transferred to my phone. Bah! If that is not amazing technology, I don't know what else to call it hehehe

Which reminds me, I am truly grateful to be enjoying a lot of good stuff in my life lately. To begin with, I am grateful for my "techie" phone which is a token from Ate; for my laptop which ate up a considerable chunk from my bank account; for my good paying job which enabled me some really good purchases for myself (this laptop) and for my loved ones (the gifts I was able to give them); for having Ate and the kids and some of our closest relatives home for Christmas; and for countless other things. Thank you, Father God.

Who wouldn't be grateful when all of these blessings came without my having to seek them out? The phone for instance was a pleasant treat. I was solely content with the SG something Samsung phone I had. It had no camera, could not store mp3's but it was handy, dependable, and served its purpose. I did wish for an mp3 player though and thought about upgrading to a pricier and a bit fancier phone. I was clear about one thing though -- I did not want to shell out money for either of the two items hehehe And so apparently, I got my wish :)

The laptop was another thing. I was clear about what I want in a laptop. At the same time, I was also clear about the budget I was willing to spend for it. So for some time, I waited till I could find one that perfectly fit the bill. And I found one. The only problem then was that my cash wasn't enough at that time. I don't fancy resorting to purchasing it with a credit card. I must admit though that I was very nearly tempted to go that far. I wanted that particular model very much. And then, by the time I had the money and went back to the store, I was a bit sad to have found out that it was already sold out. Amazingly though, I did not feel any disappointment, it's as if I knew all along that I'll have it no matter what. And I did. It was in another store, exactly the same model I wanted, and on a sale yet -- marking down the cost to what I was prepared to pay for. Well, I had been preparing myself to pay more given that most of the lesser prized units have already come and gone with everyone intent to spend all their hard-earned bonuses on gadgets. But then here I am, another wish granted.

Ate and the kids' being home was one of the best wish granted, however. And I miss them already. I am looking forward to their next visit, which I hoped would be a lot longer than two weeks and where we could all go flit off somewhere for some exotic vacation like in Palawan or something :) I'd be more than willing to save for two years for it so I could pay for Mama and Janine's fare as well wahehe

I'm now thinking wistfully of what to wish for next... I cut myself short... Because, I am not really the kind of person who dwells too much on what I want. So I don't really spend any time thinking about what to wish for. Usually, I would just go by feeling, recognizing what I need and want in my life at the moment and then I would continue doing whatever it is I'm doing. I don't brood or obsess over a thing.

Now, I find myself wishing for a good paying, meaningful job where my passion for Mindanao and helping others, and my thirst for knowledge and spiritual/ personal growth be continuously satisfied. And I would like to add -- where I would be working with light, fun-to-be-with, no hang-ups, honest, hardworking, soulful, equally-passionate about Mindanao individuals...

How exacting could I be? :) Well, I had to be (exacting). Because, I want the "whole" package delivered to me by the universe. Not some hodgepodge-same-looking-but-not-quite kind of thing. I can't have that :) Life is too short to be spent on less than what we deserve and intend to have. I've had had that -- owing to immaturity and not knowing any better. This time, I want to be clear about what I really want and to aim for them and nothing less. After all, I have little wants and desires and more often than not, they are not intended to harm other people or to step on anyone's toes...

Whiling the Time Away

It’s really late. I ought to be sleeping already but I just came in from spending the night out with Ate, the kids and some of their relatives. I’m feeling a bit perked up at the moment. So I’m doing this for a bit of some winding down.

Ate and the kids are leaving tomorrow for Manila. They will be spending two days there before flying out to Hongkong and then eventually to Australia. They’ve been here for two weeks only, such a short time but we’ve really been busy the whole time. There were just far too many gatherings and family outings being squeezed in into an already tight schedule in view of the Holidays.

Oh well, it’s going to be a long time till they’ll be vacationing again. Hope it will be longer next time though and would feature some “really” out of town trips. This time we’ve been to Nabunturan to visit its famous hot spring resort. It also served as a treat to the olds. I’m hoping that next time though we would be going somewhere a little bit further than that like Camiguin or Boracay. I’ve been to both several times already but I wouldn’t mind going to these places again with the family.

Actually, I’ve been intending to visit Manila as well to spend more time with Ate’s kids and to treat Mama but the schedule is not so good with the Holiday rush and all to consider. The thought of spending most of the three days in Manila sitting out a traffic jam is horrendous and well, not seem worth the money and the time. It would be heavenly to spend a few more days with them though but oh well.. next time.

Hey, Ate, Kuya, Tung, Bodok and Lian, it was truly nice seeing and spending some time with you. Looking forward to your next vacation. Take care always, ‘love you.

Breaking Dawn

The clock in the lower right-hand corner of my screen reads it’s 1:36 AM. Finally, I had a way to tell the time. There’s hardly any clock inside this room we are delegated into. The clock in my cell phone is utterly useless since I hadn’t set it right and it had not occurred to me to look at my wrist watch somewhere inside my hand bag. Well, at least up until now.

Ate and the kids arrived today for their two-week vacation. We had fully intended to go back to our Empress home. We have prepared for it but Ate had voiced out her concern about our having to stay away when they would be here for just a few days. And I had to agree as well. At least it will give me more time with the kids. We’ve missed them so much and two weeks is so short after all to be spent far apart from each other. We don’t know when the next visit would be.

So, for the time being we are occupying the much smaller bedroom. Well, it is very cozy. In fact, better than I had expected. I smile now, amused as I recalled Baby’s reaction earlier this evening. I was dressing him up after our shower, preparing him for bedtime. He looked around the room cautiously and asked me whether we are sleeping in this room. With a pout he told me we ought to sleep with Mama Gaga – referring to the bedroom we have been occupying. I told him we wouldn’t all fit inside the room.

Now, I’m already beginning to feel sleepy. Only a moment ago I had a hard time settling down. I was so high, after finally closing the last page to “Breaking Dawn” – the fourth and last installation of the “Twilight Saga.” It’s a “very pretty” book. (Well, the whole series was.) I reserve the description “beautiful” to “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy and to Ayn Rand’s “Fountain Head” and “Atlas Shrugged.” And rightfully so.

Nonetheless, this series certainly did leave me breathless just the same. Breathless and completely satisfied as how I’d always feel after reading a good book. “Breaking Dawn” has in fact been a good read. It gave a fitting ending to the beautiful tapestry woven in “Twilight” and the two other installations that followed. It was filled with enough drama, rendering a reader utterly defenseless from its charm. It had been very difficult to put the book down. The funny thing is I knew that it would have its effect on me so I deliberately avoided it, knowing full well my reports had to take the utmost priority. But I guess that’s just how this universe works – whatever you covet the most -- with most certainty -- it would come to you no matter how you may try not to seek it.

Here’s how it was in this case: I was up late, finishing the minutes of a very important meeting related to a project I’m involved with. I was also hooked to the internet. Out of habit, every now and then I would take a pause from the report I was doing to surf the net, check my mails or to chat with a friend over at YM. I know, an utterly counterproductive habit but it’s one of the things that kept me sane in spite of the several deadlines I have, as ironic as it may sound.

Anyway, I was just about to wrap things up after I’ve emailed the report when a niece came online. We casually chatted over the internet and that’s when it happened. We talked about “Twilight” and how she is reading “New Moon” at the moment. I told her “Eclipse” is so much more exciting (Of course at that time, I had not known “Breaking Dawn” would even be more so). She informed me that she’s at a café just because she can’t resist sneaking up some time to read her “e-copy” of NM. And casually, she told me she has an e-copy of all four books. That was the first mistake. The second mistake was when I agreed that she could send them over to me. The third, when I opened the e-copy of BD and told myself I would just take a peak at the first few pages.

That was around 1:30 AM. The next time I looked up from the computer, I was shocked to see the light outside of the window. I snaked a look at the clock of my computer and was totally surprised to see it was already 5:30 in the morning. I was that engrossed! Tatay, when he finally came in at around 2:30 am from an evening out, had tried to pry me away but nothing he did took me away from my reading. At around 7:00 in the morning, he took matters to his own hands and literally pulled the plug from under me. The monitor went black on me and I would have argued if not for my noticing for the first time how exhausted I felt. Immediately, I dropped on my back and slept.

After three hours, I woke up determined more than ever to borrow Jeni’s book copy of BD. I had to have it! I had to finish it! Jeni’s been holding out on me as well so I could do my reports as I intended. But eventually I know it had come to this. Last night, I did pick up the book from her. And here I am. I would have been able to finish the book much sooner if only not for Ate’s arrival. It kept me busy the whole day.

Lots of things I wanted to write about, other entries besides this one have been cooking along in my head before I started chipping away here. Because, you see, I closed the book feeling a bit “in love” with the idea of love :) So naturally, it had left me feeling pensive and well, inspired to pursue a certain line of thought. Ah well, that’s a different entry all together. For now, I would have to end this entry with that. Otherwise, another breaking dawn would be on me before I’d even noticed it. I need my sleep as well but ah I certainly want to write about it, about that certain promise of “someone else.” But ah, that would have to wait. For now, I should sleep. My body and mind needs the rest. There are, after all, reports to finish after this…

Post-Script: Baby's Certificate :)

See? Look at his picture, he's got the cutest smile, right? ;) haha! Spoken like a real Mom, huh? :)

My Celebrity Son

Well, all the sacrifices and money thrown into the event have finally paid off... and ended... last night. At last! :) The results were amazing. Imagine, the baby who won first prize threw in 23,000++ votes. Imagine that. A co-parent who sat in the same table as us (during the Awarding Dinner last night) told me she computed that for this week alone, the parent of that baby could have spent close to a million. Imagine that! Because you see, 1 vote means a 300 purchase plus 2 products of the activity organizer.

Well, the purchase, that can be done away with if you would just have someone ask for receipts. But, 23,000++ votes meant around 47,000 Johnson products. And being buyers ourselves, we knew that the cheapest product is at Php 15.75 each. That is, if you were lucky enough that VP have stocks for that product. In our case alone, the only available product during the last week was that of Php 35++ and above. So imagine that... Well, you do the math and that is around 800K++ hahaha

Well, I'm happy we made the right decision not to splurge this time and take it easy. We practically spent quite an amount of money making purchases and buying the products in order to raise votes for Baby. During the final round, we thought we couldn't waste our money when we are not sure if Baby could win at all or not. Tatay and I were contemplating about spending Php 50K on the products alone haha! What a waste it would have been. There were some parents who spent 200K++ and did not even make it to the top 3 since third place had a total vote of 16K++ so that's 32K of the products... around Php 500K hahaha!

Anyway, the whole experience really had me tickled pink. I totally enjoyed it. What I enjoyed the most was that Baby seem to enjoy everything as well. These days, everytime we get in our car, he would ask if we are going to "his" contest haha! And then this morning, he asked me where his certificate and his "tickets" are. He asked, "Where's tickets ko, Nanay?" in a very concerned voice that I was really amused by it. Btw, the tickets here meant the gift certificates he earned as one of the baby finalists. Well, yes, he was indeed one of the finalists and it is enough to make me proud. In fact, I have this feeling that if only the contest was about having the cutest smile, then I'm sure Baby would have won first place hahaha! I'm sure the other parents would think otherwise but hey, this is my blog after all hahaha!















That's Baby in the center. In a red shirt. So, I'm right, aint I? He's the cutest there is hahaha!

Plenty of food during the "Culmination Dinner."

With Ninang Jeni!

Parenthood and Baby Contest

I sat on top of the carton of soaps, trying to accomplish the tickets that would form part of Baby’s votes for the week. My mind is engaged, thinking a lot of things all at the same time. A part of me is feeling incredulous. I couldn’t believe what I just allowed to happen. I let Bee talked me into throwing a good deal of money intended to purchase a prepaid internet pack to buy 140 bars of soap. Hmm… actually, make that 160 cartons of Vitamin-enriched, Milk soap bar.

So in case any of my family or closest friends is reading this, I guess you know now what you are getting for Christmas haha! You would have to excuse me this year for shying away from tradition and from one of the things I like best about Christmas – hunting for well-thought of, individualized presents for family and loved-ones wahehe.

Another part of me was itching for my cell phone. I wanted to share my foolishness with Candy and Jeni, wanted to share with them how I found the whole thing amusing. Well, amusing doesn’t even begin to cut it -- this almost obsessive impulse to throw away every cent I have just to ensure Baby’s win. Well, to be honest, I’m not really concerned about Baby topping the list. Placing third would be good enough for me.

Ah… and there was this other preoccupation. Before the tickets came through, I was happy where I was, perched on the carton of soaps, totally enamored and amused as Jacob and Edward both tried to fight for a space in my heart. They are both so lovable, in their own, distinct way. I was so absorbed with “Eclipse” (third installation of “Twilight”) that I was reluctant to respond when Tatay tapped me by the shoulder to hand me a booklet of tickets to fill up. But that’s a different entry altogether.

Hmm… let me explain it first. On impulse, almost two months ago, I registered Baby in a Baby contest of sorts. We had him photographed and allowed a really good marketing team to suck us all in, as week for week we drive ourselves a little crazy purchasing mundane things just to secure a few votes. And that’s not even the worst part about it. It is swallowing one’s pride to approach strangers and ask them for receipts! Haha! Well, I have to thank Tatay for making sure I don’t have to stoop that low hehe!

All I ever did was look wistfully at the receipts hanging loosely from strangers’ purchases, wishing I could kick aside my ego in order to match the sacrifice Tatay is making at that same moment. I sort of “envy” some parents and the tenacity they’re showing as they approach total strangers, give a litany of sorts about the contest and ask them for receipts or to vote for their babies. I envied the dedication they’re displaying and thought how they are really making the most of the experience.

Experience. Jeni had teased me once saying I’m doing all these things for Baby’s shot at fame. I thought a lot about that too, before. I wondered if I really do want Baby to be somewhat famous and all -- thus this obsession. But nah, not really. I prefer not to call much attention to myself and for good reasons. I want the same thing for my son.

The truth is, what I’m actually paying for, is this particular experience as a parent. I saw it as an opportunity to discover who I am as a “stage mother” without necessarily harming baby in any other way like having to force him to audition or something. God forbid! I wouldn’t want such experience for my son or be the one to subject him to such a thing. At the same time, I saw it as an opportunity for Tatay and I to work together again as a team for Baby’s sake. I love the thought of how the experience is giving us both a shot at another aspect of parenthood, something we wouldn’t have if not for this contest.

That is why I envied all those parents and how they were really throwing all of themselves into the experience. Some parents (mostly mothers) whom I talked with, told me they spent most of their days in the mall just to chase receipts and votes for their babies. A particular parent told me she had spent a total of 40 thousand already from the first week of the contest up to now -- the final elimination round prior to the finals. Imagine that. Here I am, telling myself I’m in it for the experience and yet I am not as fully into it as they are. I truly envy their dedication and well, their time since I definitely could not afford just to hang at the mall all day.

But in fairness, I may not have spent that much money or time but I have gone far beyond my comfort zones. This week alone I had been visiting the mall three days in a row when I would normally just drop by once a week to make purchases, have Tatay’s receipts validated and cast our votes for Baby. Then we leave everything up to the fates. Tatay and I are quite strategic though. We look at the votes already in and “compute” how many votes would secure Baby’s making the cut that week, so we don’t necessarily stress ourselves out thinking that we might not have enough votes for the week. It also allowed us to save some votes for the weeks thereafter.

This last week is crazy though thus requiring those extra days spent at the mall. The other parents were all edgy, almost in a state of panic as they erratically drop coupons upon coupons up until the final hour. So it was pretty much unpredictable. It drove me a bit crazy haha I was tempted to “scold” them, thinking they shouldn’t waste that much votes since it wouldn’t be carried over on the final week anyway. I was tempted to give them a lecture about “being strategic” haha! But there they were, dropping as many as they could, forcing me to do the same. In the end Tatay and I dropped all our saved coupons. We can’t not have Baby in for the final week! By then, the organizers would have the babies’ pictures printed big and displayed in individual boxes. That particular experience, I wouldn’t want Baby to miss :)

Parenthood sure is a whole lot of experience to contend with and I’m truly glad I bought into it no matter how difficult it may prove to be sometimes. Just seeing Baby and the little antics he’s learning and showing me everyday is enough to make me think all the sacrifices are all worth it.