I sat on top of the carton of soaps, trying to accomplish the tickets that would form part of Baby’s votes for the week. My mind is engaged, thinking a lot of things all at the same time. A part of me is feeling incredulous. I couldn’t believe what I just allowed to happen. I let Bee talked me into throwing a good deal of money intended to purchase a prepaid internet pack to buy 140 bars of soap. Hmm… actually, make that 160 cartons of Vitamin-enriched, Milk soap bar.
So in case any of my family or closest friends is reading this, I guess you know now what you are getting for Christmas haha! You would have to excuse me this year for shying away from tradition and from one of the things I like best about Christmas – hunting for well-thought of, individualized presents for family and loved-ones wahehe.
Another part of me was itching for my cell phone. I wanted to share my foolishness with Candy and Jeni, wanted to share with them how I found the whole thing amusing. Well, amusing doesn’t even begin to cut it -- this almost obsessive impulse to throw away every cent I have just to ensure Baby’s win. Well, to be honest, I’m not really concerned about Baby topping the list. Placing third would be good enough for me.
Ah… and there was this other preoccupation. Before the tickets came through, I was happy where I was, perched on the carton of soaps, totally enamored and amused as Jacob and Edward both tried to fight for a space in my heart. They are both so lovable, in their own, distinct way. I was so absorbed with “Eclipse” (third installation of “Twilight”) that I was reluctant to respond when Tatay tapped me by the shoulder to hand me a booklet of tickets to fill up. But that’s a different entry altogether.
Hmm… let me explain it first. On impulse, almost two months ago, I registered Baby in a Baby contest of sorts. We had him photographed and allowed a really good marketing team to suck us all in, as week for week we drive ourselves a little crazy purchasing mundane things just to secure a few votes. And that’s not even the worst part about it. It is swallowing one’s pride to approach strangers and ask them for receipts! Haha! Well, I have to thank Tatay for making sure I don’t have to stoop that low hehe!
All I ever did was look wistfully at the receipts hanging loosely from strangers’ purchases, wishing I could kick aside my ego in order to match the sacrifice Tatay is making at that same moment. I sort of “envy” some parents and the tenacity they’re showing as they approach total strangers, give a litany of sorts about the contest and ask them for receipts or to vote for their babies. I envied the dedication they’re displaying and thought how they are really making the most of the experience.
Experience. Jeni had teased me once saying I’m doing all these things for Baby’s shot at fame. I thought a lot about that too, before. I wondered if I really do want Baby to be somewhat famous and all -- thus this obsession. But nah, not really. I prefer not to call much attention to myself and for good reasons. I want the same thing for my son.
The truth is, what I’m actually paying for, is this particular experience as a parent. I saw it as an opportunity to discover who I am as a “stage mother” without necessarily harming baby in any other way like having to force him to audition or something. God forbid! I wouldn’t want such experience for my son or be the one to subject him to such a thing. At the same time, I saw it as an opportunity for Tatay and I to work together again as a team for Baby’s sake. I love the thought of how the experience is giving us both a shot at another aspect of parenthood, something we wouldn’t have if not for this contest.
That is why I envied all those parents and how they were really throwing all of themselves into the experience. Some parents (mostly mothers) whom I talked with, told me they spent most of their days in the mall just to chase receipts and votes for their babies. A particular parent told me she had spent a total of 40 thousand already from the first week of the contest up to now -- the final elimination round prior to the finals. Imagine that. Here I am, telling myself I’m in it for the experience and yet I am not as fully into it as they are. I truly envy their dedication and well, their time since I definitely could not afford just to hang at the mall all day.
But in fairness, I may not have spent that much money or time but I have gone far beyond my comfort zones. This week alone I had been visiting the mall three days in a row when I would normally just drop by once a week to make purchases, have Tatay’s receipts validated and cast our votes for Baby. Then we leave everything up to the fates. Tatay and I are quite strategic though. We look at the votes already in and “compute” how many votes would secure Baby’s making the cut that week, so we don’t necessarily stress ourselves out thinking that we might not have enough votes for the week. It also allowed us to save some votes for the weeks thereafter.
This last week is crazy though thus requiring those extra days spent at the mall. The other parents were all edgy, almost in a state of panic as they erratically drop coupons upon coupons up until the final hour. So it was pretty much unpredictable. It drove me a bit crazy haha I was tempted to “scold” them, thinking they shouldn’t waste that much votes since it wouldn’t be carried over on the final week anyway. I was tempted to give them a lecture about “being strategic” haha! But there they were, dropping as many as they could, forcing me to do the same. In the end Tatay and I dropped all our saved coupons. We can’t not have Baby in for the final week! By then, the organizers would have the babies’ pictures printed big and displayed in individual boxes. That particular experience, I wouldn’t want Baby to miss :)
Parenthood sure is a whole lot of experience to contend with and I’m truly glad I bought into it no matter how difficult it may prove to be sometimes. Just seeing Baby and the little antics he’s learning and showing me everyday is enough to make me think all the sacrifices are all worth it.
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