Court Me Again (On Peri-Menopausal Symptoms)

I PM'ed Tatay the same.  We had been fighting really bad the past days.  It's me and my irrational behaviour.  Even I am surprised with the extent of my temper. It's so unlike me until Lou pointed it out to me that it could be a sign of peri-menopausal stage and true enough.  I read on the matter and a light bulb moment just hit me.  Even then, the insecurities and depression continued until today.

Being tired from it all, I just relaxed when Tatay and I chatted earlier.  I was still throwing him a bit of shade but reined my feelings in (more like claws that was in full display the past days).  The mood-swings drained not only me but Tatay as well who was bearing the brunt of it. 

The past days, we had shouting matches on end.  Him getting tired of it all and me, feeling all the more frustrated that he doesn't get me.

So earlier, I told him how I feel and he had this incredulous-cum-frustrated "look" totally not getting me.  I almost blew my top again when he said his usual line that I should just understand him.  He started it actually by saying, "I don't want to fight anymore."  That one liner from him launched a hundred yard speech from me about what I also don't want from him.  And we almost fight again.

I had to tell him that he thinks about my needs as well and he is not getting it, repeating how he loves me so much and how it should be obvious to me.  I told him it's not.  It simply is not.  I told him he had to think about my needs as well as I ask very little actually.  Just a little attention.  A little regard from him.  A little effort that would make my heart swoon.  His come back -- "Dili gamay (na kilig). Dako, mao na akong himuon."  (Not a little effort to make you swoon but big.  That's what I'll do). Well that remains to be seen but I'm glad we had this conversation. 

I told him, "Court me again." He replied, "Sige, Nay."  (Yes, Nay). And then a series of I love you's.  I joked I would make him chop firewood but that I'll reward him right away by giving in hahaha

I'm truly grateful for tonight's conversation.  It was so stressful lately that this one is like a complete flipping of the coin.  I prayed really hard yesterday though and this afternoon, on my way to the field.  Thank you, God for the quick turnaround. Truly, truly grateful!