Adrift in the clouds

May 2, 2005
5:36 P.M.
On Board Cebu Pacific
Suspended somewhere in between
Manila and Davao

Hmm... experiencing some kind of "turbulence" at the moment. Quite a bumpy ride we're having. We must be somewhere above Negros. I remember experiencing the same thing when I was on my way to Iloilo last year. Hmm... this is funny. Only a while back we had quite a smooth take off and a smooth flight. Just when I'm about to settle down into writing, our ride suddenly becomes bumpy. Hmm...

Smooth. My ordeal at the airport earlier was everything but smooth. It turned out I was supposed to take the 4:30 A.M. ride back home. Huh! And there I was unsuspectingly turned my ticket in an hour before 4:00 P.M!

Hmm.. I'm thinking, I'm also at fault since I haven't scrutinized my ticket a lot earlier. On, second thought, it's not that at all. I did! How may times have I looked at my ticket ever since it was given to me just to check time and again that my flight would be at 4:30 P.M. I needed to know since B had to know the exact time of my arrival. He had to, in order to have his leaving Tagum and arriving in Davao in time for my own arrival also. And, Ate Jean and I also had to make sure we're on the same flight because of the amount of materials and books we are bringing along with us. And I did asked Jean R. time and again to check and to make sure that Te Jean and I would be on the same flight. (We were not together in going to Manila since she was at Catarman at the time.)She assured me we were! I also did not suspect anything amiss since I was also informed that there is no longer a 4:30 A.M. flight for Davao-Manila and vice-versa. Huh!

Hmm... turbulence again. Well, it is a cloudy day and the pilot just informed us we're somewhere above Butuan and that we'll be starting our descent for Davao, eighteen minutes from now. Eighteen minutes! The wonder and convenience of air travel. By bus, it would take one 8 "hours" to get to Davao from Butuan and vice-versa.

Hohum... I was hoping for an Apo sighting but the whole landscape below me seemed to be blanketed by dark clouds. It must be raining down there. It seems we're starting our descent. well, I couldn't wait to get home and rest. See Mama and Baby Janin too. Miss her kakulitan already.

Janin. This pamangkin of mine has come quite attached to me lately. Given the situation, I cold perfectly understand why. Lots of things on my mind on this. I'm wishing things were a lot different than they are now -- for my Mom and brother's sake. They could do without much of this trouble. But as it is, we could hardly have any control over the situation. I just wish Mama would not be as affected by it as she seems to be. I'm praying too that my brother is not as broken-hearted as I'm suspecting he is. I'm sure knowing that he's adopted, his also wishing a complete, happy family for himself. But sadly, such is not the case.

I don't know what to hope for anymore. I don't know whether I should hope and pray that the situation would correct itself both for my pamangkin's sake and my brother's. Yet, I don't know what consequences would such hopes also bring. Would it only mean more hurt for my brother in the future? Or, would it mean a fulfillment of his dreams after having to go through such a "test."

Ah... I am indeed in the cradle of God's embrace both literally -- being suspended in air close enough to touch His face -- and figuratively. Because, i could sense Him whispering to me reassuringly -- that He is in control of the situation, of my life and of those of my loved ones. It's as if He's telling me, in time I would be able to understand His plans for all of us. In time I would understand why my brother and my pamangkin had to go through all these pain.

Ah... Apo is covered alright with a clump of clouds but Mt. Talomo is giving me a glimpse of one of her slopes. At a distance is a strip of a very orangy chasm peeking amidst a sea of gray clouds. Wait! Ah... there it is, Apo's peak! She showed herself to me after all... blue and majestic, proud and beautiful...

God's abode. Apo. I hope to climb her again sometime soon. For now, it's back to solid ground for me in a few minutes. Back to my responsibilies and some "reality-concerns." But it is enough that I got to take a glimpse of Apo. For now.

Hmm... Davao City below is quite a sight with specks of orangy light flickering like candle lights. Night is just setting in, signaling the turning on of the numerous lamp posts that would be lighting the city streets... It's good to be home once again.