Scare

Got a real scare today. Earlier this afternoon we had to rush Mama to the hospital. She collapsed while we were at the Shrine of the Holy Infant of Prague. Cebu was celebrating their Sinulog earlier in the day. Since we could not be there, we made up for it by going to the Shrine instead.

On our way there, we decided to drop by Bacaca to see if Mama Fely would be willing to join us. She was. We had to wait for a while for her though. That was already way beyond one o'clock in the afternoon and we haven't had lunch yet. We had a very late breakfast though and was not feeling any hunger yet.

While at the Shrine, it took us a while to finish the novena, light our candles and say our prayers. We were on our way back to where Mama was seated when Ms. Amparing who took the ride with us rushed to us to inform us that something happened to Mama. And there she was, utterly lifeless, white as a sheet. Looking at her, I felt my heart jumped to my throat. I feared the worst -- stroke.

Noticing her limp form, her seemingly distorted jaw-line, the fear I felt got worst. A thousand other things are running on my mind -- possibilities of Mama having a bad case of stroke and had to endure being tied to the bed.

She had our utmost attention. There were fellow church-goers who offered help. Somebody offered liniment, and someone was able to provide us a glass of hot water. I was so scared but was relaxed at the same time. I whispered soothing words to Mama telling her to relax. I repeatedly told her this and reassured her that we are doing everything to help her. I urged Tatay to get the car so we could take Mama to the hospital. Tatay took a while in coming back. It must have only been two minutes but to me it seemed like an eternity. Bee carried Mama all the way to the car, past the steps and the iron-wrought gates of the Shrine. I ran ahead of him with the car keys, so I could open the doors and fix the seats so Mama could recline comfortably.

Mama Fely and Mrs. Amparing took a while in joining us, probably with the old age and all. Tatay and I had been doing a lot of runs at the gym lately and being a lot younger, we managed to get everything settled at such a short time. And then, just as we were about to go, lo and behold, Janin cried asking her Lola Fely where she left Bolets because he was not with her. Imagine that!

I had to rush back inside the Shrine to look for him. He could be everywhere. I was not able to find him so I doubled back and asked if they have found him already. They said no so I had to run back again and retraced the places we have been to earlier. The panic and the crowd had me very confused. It was hard to keep track of all the kids there. I craned my ear for any sign of crying or any hint of "Nanay!" But every crying I heard were from babies, none of them my son. I was on my way back when I found him with Mama Fely. He was crying. Mama Fely informed me she found him walking towards the chapel from across the large expanse of the ground.

I deduce he must have walked towards the gate where the car was originally parked and retraced his steps when he found out the car was no longer there. (We were parked near the rear gate, farthest from the Chapel. When Mama collapsed, Bee had to drive all the way up to the entrance gate that was closest to the chapel.) I was so concerned with the time we've lost, Mama had to be rushed to the hospital after all. So while I was very worried about Baby and what happened to him, I knew that processing that particular experience would have to come later. Mama had to come first.

Bee and I were having a discussion as to which hospital is closest when Mama managed to speak and repeatedly say that she wanted to go straight home as she is feeling better. She said she just had a case of hyper-acidity and is starting to feel better. We had to argue with her telling her we could not take the risk with her history of hypertension. Why, on any given day, having a BP of 200++ over a hundred is somewhat "normal" for her already.

I asked her if she feel some numbness or distortion in the mouth and she said she does feel a bit numb in her limbs. That decided it for me. Her protests notwithstanding, we went straight to the hospital. Once there, I readily noticed that she had regained her color. Her lips are already turning red compared to its being as white as a sheet back at the church.

I'm not sure if it was just luck or our prayers. Remembering how Mama was at the church made me feel certain she really had a stroke. And she could have. And yet here she is feeling somewhat better. A bit weak yes, but definitely with some color now.

I do not dare think of what could have been's. I'm really just grateful that she was spared that. I could not imagine what being tied to the bed would do to her. And I can't bear the thought of losing her. There are still so many things I wanted to do for her and I wanted for her to experience. She had been through a lot. She had suffered several loses already with Papa and Nino... Plus she always have this pessimistic attitude over her person that I'm not convinced she had really been "very happy" for an extended period of time. I can't have her go that way. I want her to experience what it is to be truly happy, not having any worries of sorts.

Thank you God for turning what could have been the scariest point in my life into a point of salvation and gratitude. I know You again have worked Your wonders. What we had earlier was really a miracle. And I could not thank You well enough. Thank you for your faithfulness...