Saying "Yes" to the Entire Mission

 This was the phrase that struck me in today's gospel.  We're at the weekend house so we had to contend with an online Mass.  We sat through the entire thing patiently though  Forest and Tatay was a bit distracted at first and I had to put my arms around Forest the whole time who responded by snuggling closer.  In Tatay's case, I had to pat and hold his hands whenever he loses concentration.

Today is the Feast of the Child Jesus and a part of me is sorry we are not able to go to the Shrine like we did in the past. The Jesuit one we attended online was not less meaningful though.  And the above phrase is what struck me the most.  Father talked about connection, vulnerability and forgiveness.  He underlined how Jesus could have come to us in a more formidable form -- like that of Goliath -- and just "demanded" repentance from all of us.  Instead, He came as a baby, dependent upon Joseph and Mary to keep Hi safe amidst Herod's persecution.  And why is that?  And so the whole narrative on connection and vulnerability and yes, forgiveness.  But when Father pointed out that Jesus had to rely on Mary having to say "yes" to the entire mission before everything comes to be, I was floored.  I felt the realization flood my entire being.  Physically, it manifested in goosebumps all over and the tears just came without bidding.  

Many questions Mary's importance in our spiritual life and often she is ridiculed for the claim of a virgin birth.  But indeed, nothing would have come to pass -- God's incarnation, apostolic mission, death and resurrection had she lacked the courage to say yes to it all.

I was driven to reflect on how I also conduct my life; how I "direct" my own unfolding.  It's because I had to say "yes" to certain turning points and personal missions.  I might have missed certain points and erred in some decisions but I am firm in my conviction that God had always been a good guide in steering me in the right path.  He is indeed my Shepherd who patiently finds me and meet me wherever I am to point me towards the path I ought to take.  He is also my greatest "even coordinator," orchestrating milestones in ways that He knows I'd find meaning in. 

Raising Daughters Pt. 2

 Before that whole snuggling, teen-ager conversation thing in the car, Forest came to me complaining about how she felt uncomfortable in her shorts.  I then looked for the spare yoga pants I brought with me.  It has floral prints on it.  The top she had on has large leaves printed on it too.  Both large prints actually clashed so I told her, "Here, wear this. It does not quite match (your top) but it should be fine.  We are going straight home and not dropping somewhere. Nobody would be seeing you and what you're wearing.  Why wear that in the first place, if it was uncomfortable? You know we are travelling."

She looked hesitant about changing so I left her with the pair and went back to the cousins.  She caught up with me though only to say, "Nanay, in the first place, I'm not wearing this (gesturing to her entire get up) to please other people.  I dress up for me. I dress up to make ME happy not other people. So it does not matter if people see me or not. I'm not wearing this though (the yoga pants). And I'm fine with the shorts.  Not really uncomfortable. It was the seat  meant!" Then she turned her back to me, leaving me speechless.  Murag korek.  Dress up for me indeed.  Maka-happy though.  

Raising Daughters

 Yesterday. Forest snuggling to me in the car as we are travelling home from Gen San: Teen-ager na ako, Nay (in June, on her birthday).

Me: Oo nga. (I wonder though what led her to such thoughts and what she is thinking).

I added quietly, "Nanay will be tough. If you are aryat-aryat."

Forest replying earnestly: I know. Pagalitan mo lang gud ako Nay kung mag aryat-aryat ako...

Then she straightened up and asked: What is aryat-aryat, Nay? In clothes?!

Hehe I actually don't know exactly, Anak, to be honest hehe It's a family term I grew up with. (And one she has heard often enough.). Let me ask the olds in the family. But we could also define it between us. (It is a critique thrown our way (but never said harshly) when we "girls" are out of line in some ways.)

I don't want you to lose your voice or smother your power as you are growing up... But I don't want you to go overboard either. My moral compass might be defined by how I was raised, though I try so hard to be more conscious about it too and unlearn the things I should. But I know there would be times I'd be unmindful because I'm tired or because it comes out as a default sub-consciously. Let us be each other's critique and always have that conversation... I love you so much.

#Babytales #raisingdaughter

Raising Children (Hello 2023)

Funny how the last post here seemed to have the finality to it.  I certainly felt that way at that time.  In the end, Tatay wooed us all and showed us how he values us above everything else.  Everyday I see him work on himself and there are also days when he is someone I could dislike the most.  And I do and let him know exactly that.  

Last year, there was no entry at all and it is such a shame as there are a lot of moments with the children that I should have penned.  I manage sometimes to share snippets in facebook as it is the most accessible and I could squeeze it in between work tasks.  

In hindsight, maybe that is partly why I have stopped blogging for a while. I've been very busy at work and opening up a blog to write just take up so much time.  I want to go back to it though.  Growing up "with" the children is such a rich experience I want to pen down most of my moments and conversations with them.  Lest, the time would come when I'd be feeble-minded and forget everything.  Most of my moments with the children (both happy and trying times) are the good stuff.  And it is always good to document all of them, if I could.

Yesterday there was one such moment.  We were driving home from Gen San when Tatay noticed something fell on the road from the girl riding the motorcycle in front of us.  Tatay stopped and ran back to retrieve whatever it was, as it might be something important.  It turned out to be a cellphone.  

The scene in the car after that was quite funny.  Had some of the nephews shouting, "turn it off, turn it off."  Tatay and myself on the other hand said, "No, don't. Keep it on."  Forest and her other cousins were  quite confused but was visibly excited too.  

Tatay drove fast to overtake the girl so we could return the phone.  It became obvious then to everyone that the intent was to return the phone to the owner.  On this Forest suddenly said, "Maka-proud," obviously renewing  Tatay's record as a "hero" in her books.  Simon also quipped, "Best Tatay ever!" Haha!

Everyone grew quiet and started to relax also still excited about catching up with the motorcycle.  She was quite fast though and when she turned towards the inter-city roads, we lost her completely.  Tatay then stopped, noting the police patrol car at the intersection.  He handed the phone to the police who thanked him profusely with one of them sharing he lost his phone the other day as well but it was never returned.  They said they would be waiting for the owner to call the phone so they could return it to her.  

I didn't know Tatay heard what Forest said about being proud.  Apparently he did and can't stop thinking about it.  He was quite happy talking about it until this morning and even urged me to write about it hehehe He said, "Unsa to ingon ni Forest, Nay? Proud daw siya?" smiling sheepishly like a little boy and obviously very pleased with himself :) He shared he worries about the owner having important calls and numbers and then losing them if the phone is not returned.  Indeed!