Being Partners and Being "Sweethearts"

February 7, 2006
10:00 PM
Our Room
Bb Rod Lauren sleeping
Peacefully by my side

Chanced upon a dear, old friend at YM today. No, not an old flame but definitely a close friend in the past. Anyway, the exchange was…hmm... “practical.” Well, we did talk about practical matters. He had gotten married long before I did. In fact, I am Godmother to his daughter, Raine. He’s in China now with his family but is planning to come home this May. His wife Chang, who also became a friend of mine, is already 3 months pregnant with their second child. Considering the cost of giving birth there and the lack of support we usually enjoy over here from our extended families, they decided to have the baby here. Ryan, my friend, would have to go back to China though after two weeks since he works there.

Ryan and I talked about being parents, the hospital cost of giving birth these days, etc. etc. Chang and I also had a chance to chat and we talked about “mother-stuff” like breastfeeding, paglilihi, giving discipline to kids, etc. Ryan and I talked about business too. It was amazing really. He was planning to bring some outdoor stuff home to sell. He told me there was plenty of good stuff over there. He said the income from it would help tide over some of Chang’s needs here. He told me he was thinking of ways to dispose the items when he gets here. While he has several climbing friends who would be interested, he preferred a more practical and legit outlet. When he learned of B’s shop, everything just fell into place. It was a lucky coincidence really, our having to talk today.

But this is not what had me in a pensive mood at the moment. In the course of our conversation there was a time when he called me in the pet name he used to call me in the past. It hit a chord somewhere inside of me. It made me immediately thoughtful. B and I are so busy taking care of each other’s needs and that of our baby’s that somehow we are more of being “partners” or "teammates" to each other than “sweethearts.” I mean, we’re more engrossed now with practical matters than sweety, touching stuff. Oh, “I love you’s” are still exchanged often, particularly on moments when one’s concern for the other is very much obvious. That's when being "partners" gave way to moments of intimacy wherein we realize that our love for each other has taken on a deeper meaning. That now, it’s more on taking care of each other, of supporting each other, as we build on the family we’re having. Every time B helps me with the chores or in taking care of our little one without my having to ask him to, the more I appreciate his person. The more I come to love him.

Being called by my pet name today really struck me. While my love and respect for B grows deeper as he shows me everyday I could count on him when it comes to taking on and embracing the responsibilities and practicalities of “family-hood,” I realized that indulging in little, sweet nothings every now and then could not hurt either. It could definitely add spice to our relationship. Being too engrossed in the responsibilities and “duties,” could also be tiring. That is why it's also important that "partners" make the effort to be "sweethearts" every now and then. That way, the relationship remain balanced and the danger of resenting each other for taking the fun out of life could be avoided. One thing I realized today is that relationships often grow stale because in the course of taking on the responsibilities, the relationship begins to be viewed of more as a "duty," or worse, a "chore." And when there is more of that than fun in the every day that passes, for sure the relationship wilts and before you knew it, it will just fizzle right before your very eyes...