The Birth

I sat in the back, feeling excited and nervous all at the same time. B’s in the front seat, I knew he was as nervous as I am, probably even more. I knew the ordeal of coaching me all through out the delivery is very much on his mind. I wanted to reassure him, tell him I’m fine but Mama is right beside me. Her presence somewhat made me feel a bit shy to start an intimate conversation with Bee and so I just texted him. I asked him how he’s feeling and told him not to be concerned so much since I’m feeling perfectly fine. He texted back, “Kulbaan na gyud, B. Pero kaya natin to team! (I'm feeling too nervous already, B. But we can make it, team!)” That made me almost laugh out loud. It made me feel grateful too. I am grateful that he looked at the situation that way – that this is an experience we both are facing. It reassured me, erased all my doubts. I am not on my own then. It was a wonderful feeling to have.

We made a brief stop at the office since I had to submit my “work-leave” documents he-he-he. We’re way before my expected due date. In fact, I was supposed to be in a meeting that morning with a consultant for a project I’m handling. I had been getting ready to dress for the meeting when I noticed blood stains on my clothes. I knew then that this is probably the day. The day before that, B and I went to see our doctor. We suspected some kind of leaking from my bag of water. I was having watery discharges. While it wasn’t enough to tell us that my bag of water had already broken, it made us nervous just the same. The check-up revealed that I am already partially open. Still, my OB signed my leave-papers indicating a much further date. So I never really suspected anything.

After the office, we went straight to the hospital. I had already informed my OB we were already on our way there. I’ve also texted a few good friends asking for prayers. I wasn’t feeling anything yet. I was still able to sign the admitting documents at the emergency room. It was straight to the delivery room from there. Bee accompanied me, we were both eager to change into the appropriate “uniform” but we were informed Lamaze partners/coach are allowed only inside the Lamaze room when I’m already on the active labor phase. That dampened our anticipation, somewhat. I had been looking forward to spending some quiet moments with Bee while we await the “final moment.” I did not relish lying and sitting in the Lamaze room on my own.

Since it was suspected that my water was already leaking, I was not allowed at all to stand and walk. But everything was taking so long. And being on my own was really starting to bore me. So every now and then I would sneak out of the Lamaze room and talk to Bee where he is waiting just outside the restricted area.

Waiting. A long time we had in waiting. All in all, I had labored for two days! Yup! Imagine my boredom. On my first day, when the pain feels like nothing at all, I had been very impatient. I would move out of the room and start pacing about. Most of the time B accompanies me. Twice, it was my mom who did.

The momentum only picked up on the afternoon of the second day. Although I wasn’t fully dilated yet, I could already feel the pain in my lower back. It is almost unbearable but the breathing exercises helped. By evening, the pain had escalated. I even vomited out of the pain. I was sedated so I could cope up with the pain. With the rate my “dilation” is going – awfully slow – my OB thinks it best to sedate me. This way, I would still have energy left when the right time comes. I had, after all, been in labor for two days already. I managed to sleep for a while but still, the pain wakes me up every now and then. At one point I asked for the “painless” procedure he-he-he. I’m not exactly proud of this given we had Lamaze and all. But the pain was really something.  Good thing I did not went through with the painless.  Eventually, concentrating on my breathing exercises helped. B’s tireless coaching helped me concentrate. He had been with me when I was well into the active labor phase. I was already irritable at that point, the pain was driving me crazy but B had remained calm. He would smile at me while he was coaching me breathe. The funny thing was, the more I see him smile, the more irritated I get.


My partner/coach :) Taken when he was on his way to join me in the Lamaze Room. It took a long while to locate him. I was already well into the active labor phase by then and was already dying to have him beside me but he was off somewhere buying me merienda, something.
I never expected B to be calm or even smiling. Given the “fear” he expressed during our Lamaze class, I expected he would be edgy and nervous. When I was finally being wheeled in into the delivery room, I thought he would back out. He had been expressing his doubts and concern about seeing the whole thing. He had always been afraid of hospitals, he never wanted to be inside one, much less be inside a delivery room to witness his wife go through the ordeal. But he remained by my side the whole time. (Thank you B.) It was a good thing that he did. While everything went well at the start, everything went intense towards the very end. Little B took a long time in going out. I reached a point when I no longer knew how to push properly. I was so tired already from the effort. And the pain… At one point, a very intense pain hit me, and I instinctively sought out B’s hand who readily extended it to me. Even then I noticed how dependent I was to B. Reaching instinctively to him reveals as much. For a while I wondered how the others fared, going through delivery “on their own.” That instant, I felt grateful to have B by my side.


Finally being wheeled in to the delivery room. When the pain became more frequent, I asked to be IE'd. Good thing I did since it turned out that my bag of water already broke and I had already dilated from 4 cm to 7 cm. If at the start everything had been too slow, things seem to be picking up so fast at this point.

Waiting again inside the Delivery Room. I lay there concentrating on my breathing, dealing with the pain and the strong desire to push. While they sat there and talk about Louis Vuitton bags and other stuff. In my head I was like screaming, "You could talk like that while I lay here like this?!" he-he-he But of course they knew better. Hope I don't get sued for posting this pic with them here he-he-he They've been a pretty good team. I sure owe them a lot, particularly in making sure baby RL was alright.


Bolo: Come on B, breathe...
Thank you B, for holding my hand all through out the ordeal. Once again you've proven to me that we are indeed a team.

I never had an idea that everything was starting to go wrong. All I could think of was the pain, and that how tired I already was. I did not even notice that everyone seemed tense and that every time I would push, they would also monitor baby’s heartbeat. At one point my OB urgently urged me to push and even sort of began scolding me to push harder. A vacuum was brought in, two “burly” female nurses pressed down hard at my belly, and out goes baby RL.

Everyone in the delivery room cheered. It turned out it was a cord coil delivery. That is why baby took a real long time in going out. And that towards the end we very nearly lost baby RL. When they told me this, I felt as if cold water was being poured over me. I could not bring myself to think of what could have happened. My OB jokingly told me she felt like collapsing every time the Doppler indicates a drop in the heartbeat. She told me we very nearly had an “unpleasant” accident that day. Thank God we didn’t!

Then everyone went busy. I could hear my OB asking what time it is. I heard someone say I had given birth to a baby boy. A son…


Bb RL:Akk..ekk..glug..glug...what are you doing to me?! Where's my Nanay?! I want to see her!

Finally baby's out. It had taken a while and we sure had treaded very dangerous ground. Thank God he's well and healthy. Just as I asked for in prayer...
I was too weak to feel anything. I waited for the feeling of elation others told me I would feel once I’d hear my baby cry but everyone in the room was too noisy. Everyone seems to be giving some kind of instruction or the other… I knew some were minding my baby, taking care of him… I heard someone say that he should be latched to my….err… breast for that initial suckle. And he was. That’s when I saw him for the first time… Still, everything was a blur and I was too weak to appreciate the whole experience.


Bb RL: There, there, finally you've taken me to my mom... hmm... ought I kiss her here?! Is it not supposed to be at her cheeks? You sure?!"

This is when I saw baby for the very first time. I was too weak already by then to fully appreciate the experience. But I sure was grateful to know he's alright. Even here, I was not aware of the very close call we had. I thought everything was just as it should be.

Bb RL: Hey, hey, where are you taking me now?! Don't take me away from my mommy!!! What are you doing to her now? Are you hurting her?! What's all that blood?! Huh! I can't look! Takot ako!
Before I knew it, baby was brought to the next room to be cleaned up. Everyone else was administering to me. Well, they were “sewing” me up, pardon the pun :)and making sure everything was alright with me.


Bb RL: Oh, oh what are you going to do with me now?! What is it I'm lying on here? It's hard and cold... Oh, oh! Is that water over there?! Waaah!!! Don't tell me your going to dip me in that?!!! I've been in water for almost 9 whole months... not again!

Bb RL: Look Ma, I five fingers in this hand. And at the other too! See? Does that mean they're no longer going to dip me in that cold-looking water over there? Ha?!

Bb RL:Oh, oh, you're going to lift me now?!

Bb RL: Brrr...told you it's cold.. brrr..but it feels good to be cleaned up. Ok, you can clean me now. Just don't get soap in my eyes ha?

Bb RL: Wow! This feels good. I feel warm already. Thanks a lot! :)
Somehow I felt everything. And knowing that I no longer had to concentrate that hard for my baby’s sake, I gave in to my desire to “holler” every time I feel pained. I was probably a lot noisier then than when I was giving birth to Baby RL. I know someone outside of the delivery room would have thought I was at the height of giving birth by then.

Though weakened, my sense of humor did not left me and I slyly asked for apology for being noisy. I told them that now that I no longer have to reserve my energy, I could shout all I want hehehe I was feeling everything all at once (minus the pain of course) that I kept my eyes closed all through out the procedure up until they wheeled me out of the delivery room to my room.

Back at my room, I felt myself being lifted and transferred to my bed. Then I slept…


Hmmm... nice and cozy :)