Journal Entry: Going Blind and Shouting

March 26, 2006
Living Room

While watching television earlier, we came across a trailer of some telenovela. It is a lovestory between a blind guy and a girl. Apparently, they sort of drifted from each other and then meet each other again when the guy is no longer blind. From the looks of it, the girl readily recognized the guy (of course!). The guy however showed no inkling at all that he knows the girl. B turned to me and said the guy should have recognized the girl through her voice. After all it is the voice of the person that he loves. I replied that being able to see finally probably overwhelmed the guy. If before, when he is still blind, he is sensitive about a lot of things and the different nuances of his significant other, all of that fades away as he focuses on his newly acquired sight. (Hehehe always the logical Rodilyn talking huh? Hehehe)

B shook his head, turned to me, covered his eyes and said he would recognize me even from a mile away should he go blind. I smiled sheepishly about to be flattered when he added that it’s because I have a very distinctive “shout.” That had me laugh out loud.

Indeed, we do get into a “shouting-match” sometimes when we’re arguing. This somewhat “unsettled” me, at first. The fact that our argument could come to that does not sit well with me. Then I realized that it is normal in every relationship. It dawned on me that the “shouting” part is largely due to the fact that we are “comfortable” with each other. To allow ourselves to be that “raw” in front of the other imply how secure we feel in our relationship.

I’ve written about this before and I’m reiterating it here again – ours is not a “pa-cute” relationship. What we have is a relationship that’s straightforward. Both of us wear our emotions on our sleeves, transparent enough for the other to see and feel. Disappointments are readily expressed. In the same way, “I love you’s” and words of appreciation are also expressed off-handedly. B, looking my way - or me, looking his way - with a sheepish expression on his/my face and mouthing "lab u B" is something that is experienced often enough... I am not in no way wishing that the shouting will continue or occur often but I'd rather have that anytime than me having to nurse my hurts in silence and have my soul slowly shrivel and die.