Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Retro-Entry: Baby Walked!

What a way to celebrate the new year -- Baby walked today! It was such a special moment for me when Baby started walking towards me, unheld, not holding on to anything, and hardly wobbling at all!

Bolo and had quite a misunderstanding (hehehe what a way to start a year huh?) While we were having the argument, I felt tempted to play along with his drama. As usual, there was the temptation to be selfish and be childish too. Hmm... on second thought, not really. I was more intent on having him understand my point than anything. I know I succeeded when he toned down a bit. I did not wait for his reaction though. I left him, went up and proceeded to set my working space in our room in order. He left soon after that.

So for most of the afternoon there was just Baby and I. When he woke up, I gave him toys so he would play while I did some chores around the house. It wasn't easy as he loves to meddle with what I do than play with his toys. But I manage to distract him a bit to make me accomplish some tasks.

Because of the argument, I was really feeling low. In fact, for all the childishness in me, I was contemplating of ways how to "communicate" to Bolo my disappointment. In other words, aside from getting myself preoccupied with the house chores, I was also allowing myself to be preoccupied with wasteful thoughts. I was running over my head some scenarios (translate that to: drama) I could do to "show" Bolo he was wrong and I was right. Really, remembering all that now, I am regretful of how much energy I wasted on such a mundane thing.

Being subconsciously "preoccupied," I'm afraid I was giving only half the attention I normally give Baby. So when he started playing with me -- beaming at me with that mischievous look on his face while he experimented with taking more steps on his own -- I was somewhat detached than I normally am.

Normally, when Baby would attempt to take a few steps without holding on to anything, I would certainly die a thousand deaths in fear. I am always nervous about him falling and hurting himself. So instead of giving Baby the free-hand and be encouraging... Well, in truth, knowing what I know, I always try to be encouraging and yet I had a hard time containing my fear too. So I'm like encouraging one instant and then always on the look-out for Baby stumbling or what. So there is really nothing encouraging about that.

For a long time I had been like that that Bolo and I even talked about it. I shared with him my concern that our fears must be communicating itself to Baby that is why instead of continuing with his attempt at taking steps on his own, he would suddenly sit or crawl out of fear.

But that afternoon it was different. Being distracted with my thoughts, I was not able to pay much attention to my fear. So I was down pat encouraging to Baby. And boy, oh boy, how well he responded. I was feeding him at 4 PM while I was having a late lunch myself. I was sitting just outside our bedroom door. Bolo hates having our bedroom reek of anything especially food smell, thus my position. Baby on the other hand was holding on to side of the bed while "walking" back and forth. It's like a routine of his since he was 6 mos old that I think nothing of it already. Then quite suddenly he let go of the bed sheet and took tentative steps towards me on his own! All the while sporting that mischievous smile as if teasing me.

He first took two steps. That did not surprise me much, though I was still pleased about it. He had done that before. But then two steps became three, then four, then five... When he took seven steps straight I was downright drowning in my excitement hehehe It is an exciting moment. And he did it again and again. Going towards me, take a spoonful of his food that I offer and then walk back towards the bed. The whole thing amused me since it felt like I was training a dog with my rewarding him with food everytime he manages to walk up to me on his own. Amazing, huh? =)

Then Bolo arrived. I was still smarting from the argument but I was also half-pleased that he came home quite early. His greeting -- "I've looked everywhere but could find no crabs" -- was like music to my ears hehehe Actually, I felt slighted when he came home the day before with shorts instead of the crabs that I requested him to buy. It wasn't so much the shorts that was the issue. It was his prioritizing other people over me. But that's another entry altogether hehehe

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