Fingers on air
Palm slaps on thighs
Music in my head
And in my heart
Of work thoughts
Numbers phasing
Technical
Factual words
Of world gone crazy
Remembering
Soulful intentions
Drama
Life as a stage
Golden through Iron Age
In time
Om Shanti.
A little window that allows a peek into what goes on in the head of this peculiar soul who is very passionate about the unfolding of one's truth, writing, mountains, nature and making a contribution... It's all about a journey to self-actualisation, self-love and the inevitable outward outpouring of love as a result... It's all about acceptance..Of connection, love and affirmation...
Ring dropped
Picked up
Tried
Too small for yours
Too big for mine
Much like
What we have now
Shared affection
Yet circumstance
Don't make way for rings
Let's settle
For bracelets then
Silvery ones
Embraces
But never shackles...
Planned "meeting" taking place,
It's your special day today.
Defying distance,
Te quiero's sent across the miles.
Unplanned virtual rendezvous,
Exchange of mirth.
Engulfed in camaraderie,
Teasing banter ensued
Planned exchange of stories,
Looking forward to the day.
Grateful for kindred spirits,
Binded by common love for offsprings.
Thank you God for unplanned, special moments that made Tatay's 36th truly happy-filled. Grateful.
A quick hello,
Passing by.
Turned down invitation,
Shoulders shrugged.
A change of mind,
Momentary discourse.
Fooling oneself,
Nothing extraordinary.
Un-comfortable silence,
Small talk attempts.
Slight touch of hands,
Illusion crumbles.
Nonchalant stance,
Nothing amiss.
Stifling a grin,
Had to turn away.
As eyes can't hide mirth,
When heart overflows...
Photo credit: Tata Abella-Bolo |
"Tapos wala ka diri, 'Nay ba!" (And you're not here, Nanay!) Tatay repeated that statement for the third time. I got him right away. He's in a bind and he needed me to be there so once again I can help him gain a better perspective. And so I did just that.
Over the phone, I calmed him, helped him see sense. He is obviously upset but "hearing" me so calm, not angry at the other end of the line must have helped because he mellowed somewhat. Over the line, I sent over my love and he must have sensed that. I had to call a friend, ask a favor, make phone calls and online transfers in between flights but everything got settled eventually.
At the end of it all, got several messages of apologies and gratitude from Tatay for handling the situation the way I did and for understanding. "I love you's" got exchanged several times.
Maneuvering marriage, long-distance, is quite a challenge. Situations that had to be addressed together could prove to be difficult but yeah, not impossible. One has to be patient and love enough to make the effort.
As I sit here again alone in an airport somewhere, these thoughts are what's running on my head. For a month, we would have to switch again to "remote-partnership." I again would have to work at being a good "remote" parent. But by God and by love, I know it can be done. I miss the little arms around my neck and the butterfly kisses though. Just one more month!
Today I wore Tatay's Christmas gift. I thought it significant to blog about it because of the story behind it.
Come Christmas time, Tatay presented me with a card with an apology note in it saying it's all he got me for now. It was littered with I love you's and that would have been enough. Instead, I pouted and acted hurt. I told him, he knew weeks in advance I was coming home for Christmas. I pointed out we've been apart for months he could have made the effort.
In truth I was really hurt by it. The card was much appreciated of course. I love it so much. Only, I felt underappreciated. Of course I wasn't looking for a very expensive gift. I never care much for it. I was actually looking more for the indication that he had put much thought into it, given our situation lately, being apart and all.
They just the thing. He thought I was expecting for something really expensive. So before I knew it, he went out of the house, drove downtown to go to the mall to pick me up a gift. And it was this pair of jeans, a 100++-dollar pair of jeans.
Imagine my dismay. I'm never one for buying really expensive clothes and shoes. Sure I splurge a bit on sports shoes but that is totally necessary. But your usual getup for casual wear, I'd be more than happy putting on a 300-peso jeans. Something expensive would have me think about how wasteful it is and how I could have just saved the money for a plane ticket to somewhere.
But there it was, a nicely wrapped MANGO jeans, the price equivalent of which is even more that Forest's monthly school fee :p but yeah, sure appreciate much the gesture. But yes, Tatay, I would never put much value on the price tag. I'd be more than happy receiving a pair of winter gloves coz it would tell me you put much thought into what I would be needing back here.
Thank you just the same, Tatay. It's much appreciated. I love you.
"Time is slipping away.